821.

Hello folks. I see it's been over a month since I've checked in with you fine people.

First, I'd like to wish all who celebrate anything this time of year, Happy Merry Joyful celebration to you! 🎉🎉🎉

Now let's get to the business of telling all.

Well, some.

So here's the latest:


- I'm here visiting daddy. He was in hospital for a week, about two weeks ago. I came running like the faithful loving daughter I am. My visit ruffled a lot of feathers. I learned (more) ugly things about my father's wife and her family. I also learned some ugly things about my father's "aide", a man who has been my father's "friend" for a number of years.

I won't go into details here because it's serious and I had to notify a few government agencies as well as law enforcement.

Daddy has been at the local rehabilitation facility for a few weeks and has transitioned into long-term care there. Sadly (but not surprisingly), the usual suspects are attempting to lure him home with whispered lies.

My prayer is that daddy continues to understand how it's in his best interest to remain at the facility, where he can get his meals and medications in a consistent manner.

Amen.

🌸 🌸 🌸

In the romance arena, Mr. Quince and I managed to work out our differences by parting ways. We are just too different in ways that are very important to me.

I won't go into too much detail about this either but I will say this: social grace matters to me.

Some of the folks I grew up with think that means a person has to be fake or phony around people they don't like. I disagree. I believe that one aspect of social grace entails knowing how to comport oneself in social settings, a skill that can open doors that can facilitate opportunities for positive change in a person's life.

My life attests to that.

I don't know if we're born with the skill and we hone it (or not) as we mature but I'm inclined to think it's more nurture than nature.

Fortunately, I am blessed with a mother who worked and socialized with a wide variety of people from the time I was very young.

My privilege has been to observe and often mingle with those folks on many occasions. Somehow it all helped me with what I feel are appropriate interactions with others.

That's not to say I don't occasionally make a mis-step but I don't believe that's a regular occurrence. Lucky me.

On a more serious note, I remain thankful for all I've learned over the years no matter the source.

That's just one tiny inkling of why Mr. Quince and I couldn't go the distance. Some of the other issues are very serious and are absolute deal-breakers.

🌸 🌸 🌸

And that's all for now folks. 

It's time to head out for what will be my last visit with daddy in 2017. (I've been in town for a week.) After he finishes lunch, I'm heading back to warmer climes.

As always, I've saved some for later so stay tuned.

Be safe, be blessed, be a blessing!

Amen.

820:

Good morning everyone.

This Friday dawns with an aura of sadness chez Bliss. I'm trying to regain my equilibrium* but it's slow going.

One reason is the hormones. (Of course.) And I'm exhausted as well. (Which could also be attributed to the hormones.)

My weekend spent in my hometown was a bitter sweet one. I won't go into too much detail because it's just too painful to hash it out here while still hashing it out in real life.

News:

- My dad was hospitalized once again, due to complications of his surgery. His health is see-sawing weekly it seems. I'm praying for daddy's comfort. It's all I feel I can do at this point.

- Mr. Quince and I are no longer dating (Yes, I'm the bad guy.) but we're still madly in love. I think this is the most painful experience with love and dating that I've had since I became a widow. Seriously.

Mr. Quince believes that love conquers all but I'm more of a realist. I know that habits are hard to break, even the ones that can kill us. I also know that habits that annoy me can cause me to want to kill a person who's living in close quarters with me, even if I love the person.

Despite the fact that we haven't spent much time in each other's physical presence, in the short period we were together, Mr. Q and I have had some really good times. But I've also had time to see how different we are and how some of those differences are in areas that cause me grave concern.

At this age, and with the amount (and types) of relationship experience I've had, I know what I'm willing to compromise on and what is essential to my well-being, my peace of mind.

I also know that asking someone to change, hoping someone will change, expecting someone to change... those are wastes of energy for the most part. People can change but as I previously stated, habits are hard to break.

Why spend time trying, hoping, wishing for a person to be something or someone they're not? Even if a change will improve the person's health, wealth, etc., that person has to recognize a need for change, has to want the change, has to implement the change.

I'm all for people being who and what they are. If it doesn't work for me then I get to decide if and how I'll interact with said people.

Mr. Quince at his best is kind, compassionate, loving, giving, intelligent. But his other traits, while they don't fully negate his good characteristics, do eclipse them in ways I don't want to bring into my space.

If we lived 30 minutes apart, it might not be a big deal. However, long distance romance makes some things glaringly apparent. Like relocating. We already knew that he would be moving here with me and I thought I was okay with that. Spending time with him allowed me to observe his habits enough to decide that no, I wouldn't be okay with that.

If we can't live together, I don't see a future together.

Marriage was a hot topic (he was anxious to jump in with both feet) and initially I was all in. But the engagement period exists for a reason and that reason is to give both parties time to learn their betrothed and decide if they've actually found their person.

For me it was a "no" but Mr. Quince wanted to gloss over all issues in the name of love. Well I knew that wouldn't work. Effective communication and being able to resolve problems are two skills necessary for a healthy relationship of any kind.

Right now we're negotiating a "safe space" for us to be able to stay connected but not excessively so. Which is hard because we became best friends, calling and texting at all hours of the day and night about any and everything.

That was the easy part, facilitated by our shared history (school, neighborhood, friends, etc.)

What comes next remains to be seen.

O brave new world...


*(If this is disjointed, forgive me. It's the wee-est of the wee hours and although I'm not feeling sleepy, I am tired. My sleep cycle is way off. Again.)

819.

Good Monday to you fine folks.

I hope everyone has been well since we last met here.

I've been many things since then: overjoyed, frazzled, peaceful, optimistic, disheartened, overwhelmed, and more. Sometimes all in the same day. Literally.

The emotional life of a peri-menopausal woman is rich with feeling.

And so much has happened since my last post.

- Daddy has been home, back to the hospital, back to rehab, and back home again. He's had good days and some not-so-good days. As of our last phone call he sounded really well, like his pre-stroke self.

But that was a week ago. We're having communication issues, me and daddy. His cell phone seems to have gone missing so I can't reach him on that number. No one answers the house phone when I call so I can't talk to him that way. I can talk to him when he's in hospital or rehab or when his wife calls me from her cell phone.

The last time she did, she put us on speaker. Her reason: the earpiece wasn't working well. Funny that it was working well when she called me to say my dad wanted to talk to me.

As my faithful readers know, this isn't the first time there've been communication issues between my dad and I due to his wife's interference. I'm not sure if she knows she's hurting my dad with her behavior but I know.

🌸 🌸 🌸

In other news, I've been in my hometown since Friday. I drove up for a cousin's engagement party and to attend an event with my momma.

Both those events were fun.

The not-so-fun but oh-so-exciting event came later.

Mr. Quince has been in hospital since Thursday evening, when he was admitted via emergency room visit.

I stayed overnight with him Saturday night and I'm here with him tonight. I truly wish I could stay longer but I must return home tomorrow because I have business down south that needs handling.

It's possible I'll return before December but not a certainty. Once the temps drop below 40 degrees (day or night), there's no long distance driving for me.

🌸 🌸 🌸

On that note, I'm gonna bid y'all bonne nuit. 😙 It's at least a six-hour drive to where I'm headed and with the way I drive, it might take eight or nine.

818.

Happy Sunday folks.

It's a quiet and relaxing day here chez Bliss and I'm thankful.

I was perusing some of my old blog posts and I came across this one: 435. My name is not Oprah.

It's a list of what my favorite things were when I wrote the post.

Many years have gone by since I made the list and today I feel like updating it.

So here it is:

1. My glass teapot. I still have it, I still love it, and I use it often.
2. Tazo's "Passion" tea is still on my list. I drink it several times a week, usually cold from the fridge. 
3. My favorite dusting powder these days is an oldie but goodie, Jean Nate Silkening Body Powder. It smells like heaven and lives up to its description, as it really does make your skin feel silky. I don't wear it often because I wear a lot of black and the powder is white.
4. I still have one of those semi-sexy "maternity" dresses and it's still my go-to dress for many occasions. 👗
5. Plantain chips have supplanted sweet potato chips as my snack of choice.
6. These days, plain sparkling mineral water works well for me. And while I do like the plain version just fine, I also use it half-and-half with fruit juice on days when I want to drink something bubbly and sweet. Maybe I'll start mixing it with my Passion tea... 
7. Sweet potato plants. I don't have much of a green thumb but I've come to love greenery around the house. A friend taught me how to plant sprouting sweet potatoes to get some of the loveliest and (fastest-growing) plants I've ever seen. My latest is so far the most beautiful (and biggest) of all. 🌱🍀🌿

In case anyone is interested, I still have my toasty warm and super soft knit slipper socks from Wal-Mart, I'm no longer using the glass fish bowls to pot plants, I still love the body butter from Habeebah's Herbals (but it's been ages since I've used it because I'm using pure oils these days like almond, sesame, and grape seed), and I still have yarns I like but none I currently love. 

817.

I'm making something for the wedding.

816.

Good evening and Happy Tuesday y'all.

After all the sad, shocking, and emotionally draining news that I've been bombarded with over the past several days, I have some good news to share: I'm planning a wedding.  💒

I won't say at this moment whose wedding it will be but some of you reading this may guess correctly. 😁

More later folks.

815.

Happy Monday folks.

Hopefully your weekend was restful... peaceful... tranquil.

Mine was fun.

Saturday I had a full day of laughter and frolic with a friend whom I absolutely love. She's my mom's age but more like an older sister to me. We have a great time whenever we hang out.

She and I hit a yard sale, visited her family, ate, shopped, and more on Saturday. By the time we returned home, we were both beat.

On Sunday I slept in and had a thoroughly relaxing day.

Now for some less than inspirational news: daddy returned to hospital last week (which is what I didn't want to talk about). He's scheduled to head home late this afternoon.

His wife is also in hospital which is the cause for (seemingly) catastrophic concern on her part.

When she called to tell me where she was, she also asked me to assist her with something that I can't help her with.

Not because I can not. It's because I will not. It would require me to place myself in possible physical danger and definitely psychological distress.

My health is paramount and I have no qualms about saying no when doing otherwise would put me in harm's way.

I feel really sad for my dad's wife and it's very likely she'll be mad at me. However her anger won't deter me from doing what is best for me.

Once again friends, please send prayer, positive energy, and healing thoughts for this situation. Thank you in advance.

I am praying as well because at this point, I feel like it's the most I can do until I need to do something that I'm able to do.

Amen.

814.

People with a limited worldview who negatively stereotype people of other cultures, races, ethnicities, religions, sexual orientations, etc. are denying themselves the pleasures of living fuller lives.

Of course that's just my opinion.

At the heart of it all is fear, hatred, bigotry...

So sad.

813.

Talking to Mr. Quince...

This man makes me think things I've never thought of before. I love the way he encourages me to be who I am but better, how he perseveres and overcomes obstacles, how he embraces life, his no-bullsh*t attitude, his compassion for those in need.

We did a 30-minute Skype session earlier, our second. I really like the video chat capability. I'm sure it will be a big help in facilitating our relationship.

As soon as we ring off, I'm going to sleep. It's been a long day of contemplation. I'm so thankful for Mr. Quince. He's been excellent at helping me de-stress.

More about why (he's been helping me de-stress) later. I'm not in the mood to discuss it now.

Good night everyone.

Sweet dreams... 

812.

*yaw-w-w-w-w-wn*

I just rang off from a four (4) hour Skype session with Mr. Quince.  😊

We had a few technical difficulties but thankfully he's good at sorting out those kinds of things, allowing us to enjoy our first face-to-face since we parted two weeks ago.

I love this man. He seems completely without guile and it's what he expects from others. I have never been in a romantic relationship with a man like him.

And now I must rush to toss myself into a pile of pillows because I am tired, tired, tired.

Good night folks.

Sweet dreams.  💋💋💋

811.

Happy Sunday folks.

The past two weeks (give or take a few days) have been long chez Bliss. For one, I'm still in recovery mode after being away from home for two weeks. Another reason is the hormones. I've been weepy, overjoyed, hot and sweaty, exhausted, ecstatic, forgetful... You name it.

Such is life these days.  🤷🏾‍♀️

So, I was skimming over several of my previous posts and it looks like I failed to mention the "disappearance" of the Astronaut.

Here's what happened: after we talked and texted for a week or so, I realized we were so very different and not in complimentary ways. I tried to explain it to him but he seemed to think it didn't matter. I knew from experience that it did. 😐

And then came the beach and Mr. Quince... 💕💕💕

Then came my dad's situation and Mr. Quince was there for me. Supportive emotionally and literally there at the hospital with me. 💕

I chose the man my heart told me to choose. Maybe the playing field was a bit uneven, with Mr. Quince having the home field advantage. But it wasn't anything within my control. It's just the way things turned out.

Sometimes a glimpse of things past is all we need...

End of story.  🔕

As for Mr. Quince and I, we're managing well in our time apart. A megaton of daily phone calls and texts about everything and anything.

I'm still adjusting to calling him "baby", "sweetie", "darling"... Which I'm absolutely digging but it's strange after years of calling him the name his momma gave him.

We're currently making plans for him to visit in a couple of weeks. It's not definite for a few reasons and it's likely we won't know until a few days before he's due to arrive. I'm optimistic that the odds will be in our favor.

We've both been feeling stressed lately; I want our time together to be as low-key as possible.

There will be no planned agenda but i would like to take him to my favorite park, show him my beautiful neighborhood, introduce him to a few treasured neighbors. (Baby Bliss too of course. She met him once but it was many years ago, when he and I were just friends and former schoolmates. I know she doesn't remember him because he was one of dozens of people she met that day.)

810.

Happy Friday everyone.

I hope everyone is doing well.

First, thank you all for the prayers, well wishes, positive energy, and positive thoughts for my dad's health and healing.

I am happy to say he came through his surgery much better than his doctors expected. After a week in the hospital, he was moved to a rehabilitation facility and is doing well. 🎊🎈🎊🎈🎊🎈

As for me, I am recovering from a lot of time on the road. I'm also experiencing withdrawal symptoms after spending a few weeks with my new suitor. (Let's call him Mr. Quince.)

My dad lives about an hour from my hometown so in between visits with him, I had the opportunity to spend some much-needed quality time with Mr. Quince at his place.

Making the transition from being friends with someone to being in a romantic relationship with that person is exhilarating. It's fun and frustrating, messy and miraculous, amazing and anxiety-inducing.

We're both excited about the current situation as well as future possibilities. 😍😍😍

If he and I didn't already have a real connection (growing up in the same neighborhood, similar childhood experiences, friends in common, and an already-established friendship), the long distance aspect of this relationship would be difficult if not impossible for me.

But I'm okay with it for now. For now. If anything changes, Mr. Quince will be notified with the quickness. (As we would say back home.)

He's making plans to visit me as soon as he can get here. Although he is formally retired, he takes on special projects for friends and family that keep him busy enough. His current project is daunting but he's about halfway through it and he said he wouldn't take on anything new unless it's related to him relocating to my area.

Que sera, sera...

Life is so unpredictable. I'm definitely looking forward to more time shared with Mr. Quince but open to how it happens. I do have family living near him and with my dad's health being what it is, it's entirely possible that I'll have to head that way again any day.

The extended driving, the packing and unpacking... It's all exhausting but I'm thankful my schedule allows me to do so when necessary.

In the in between, I'm relaxing as much as possible. 😊

Amen.

809.

My daddy has cancer. 😒

Please send healing love energy and prayers for his healing and highest good.

Thank you all in advance.

808.

🎶 🎶 🎶 Good morning, good morning folks! 🎶 🎶 🎶


Yes, I feel like singing. But not right now because I also feel like I need to find a pile of pillows and dive right in.

I am tired as all get out and some body parts are achy too.

There is lots of good news to share but it will have to wait for a subsequent post.

What I'll leave you wonderful people with is this: I have a new suitor.

He's someone I grew up with and I've had a crush on him for as long as I can remember but I kept it a secret. (Who wants to ruin a good friendship with romance? Not me.)

And yes it happened at the beach.

Totally unexpected and totally cool.

We've been friends for years without even a hint of romance, previously sharing more of a sibling-type relationship. However, the time we spent together at the beach allowed us to see each other differently.

 He's smitten. 💕 Me too. 💕

He lives in my hometown but he's retired so we're gonna see how we can work it out. 💃

That's all for now good people. My eyeballs are begging for darkness.

Nitey-nite folks. 💋💋

807.

An interesting perspective on this eclipse occurring during Mercury retrograde:

Uh Oh: What Happens When a Solar Eclipse Occurs During Mercury Retrograde?

Another point of view:

What Does It Mean When An Eclipse Happens During Mercury Retrograde? Big Changes Are Afoot

806.

Happy Monday everyone.

I'm sure you're all hanging on the edge of your seats waiting to hear about my weekend, yes? 😁😆😋

And I'll spill it but not right now.

Right now, I'm all tied up in emotional knots.

I think it's this eclipse in Mercury retrograde.

I don't plan to actively watch the eclipse. By that I mean I don't have the glasses,  I'm not going outside, and I'm not going to look up. My views on this are more akin to what some Native American tribes believe: this is a sacred act between God and nature and not my business to witness.

What I am doing is sitting in my living room watching my window. As of this writing, it's 2:32 p.m. in my location.

From around 11:30 a.m., it has gotten darker in tiny increments. But I can still see the sun shining onto the side of my porch.

To say it looks eerie is an understatement.

I went out around 2, to get my dirty laundry from the car. The air was different. It felt pink and lightweight. The sound was different too. Muted somehow.

I'm also watching the news. Clemson, SC is dark. People are looking up, taking photos or videos with their cell phones...

It's getting darker in here. The "hot bugs" as I call them (Cicadas? Something else?) are singing outside. They usually sing at dusk.

I'll take a photo of my kitchen and post later.

805.

Happy Sunday folks.

A sista is as tired as every dog that ever walked on the blacktop on a sunny August afternoon anywhere in South Carolina.

I had a most excellent weekend at the beach (Myrtle, where it was hotter than blazes) and I am thankful.

My current status: exhausted.

I'm nodding y'all.

More later...

804.

Howdy folks and Happy Thursday! 😊

I hope everyone reading is doing well.

I sure am. 😀

Despite the monotony of performing mundane chores like laundry, vacuuming, and washing dishes, Wednesday was an intriguing day chez Bliss.

My down time was spent talking and texting with a man I dated briefly when I was in my late teens.

Let's call him the Astronaut.

Brief though our acquaintance was, I was absolutely besotted with the Astronaut. And so he has always had a home in my heart and my thoughts.

About 50 percent of our conversation was him expressing his awe at our virtual reunion. We also talked about a face-to-face reunion, to likely take place in a few weeks, when I go visit my dad.

Ole pack rat that I am, I knew I still had pictures of one never-forgotten weekend we spent together back in 1986. After I scanned in the photos, I uploaded them, then texted them to him.

Although I've seen the photos many times over the intervening years, it had been a long time since I'd last looked at them. Viewing them again brought back a bunch of sweet memories for me, bittersweet memories for him once he saw them. (Via text.)

His mom, who is now deceased, was alive when he and I dated. She was a kind and beautiful woman and I loved her from the moment I met her. He said she felt the same about me. Many years ago, she came to me in a dream as she was dying. Her warm smile and welcoming spirit are lodged in my heart forever.

Sadly, there were no photos of his mom from that weekend but we both know she was there and I think that made it sadder for him. He told me how much he missed her, told me how much she liked me and wanted him to marry me.

Wow.

On a more upbeat note, the Astronaut told me I was his first love. He also said he stills loves me and has been looking for me for decades.

The last part isn't surprising because I've looked for him many times over the years too. Not to rekindle, but because I'd always wondered where he was, how his life had turned out after his mom died. There was also something I needed to tell him.

Shortly after we rang off the first time, he texted me to say his sister would be calling me. She did and we had a brief, pleasant conversation about her brother. During our chat, she said he'd told her "I found my wife".

Well then...

Long distance dating...

He and I currently live several hours from each other. He has a job and a part-time job but he doesn't work on weekends. My schedule is as flexible as it can be so I have more time to go back and forth. But he did say he would fly down to see me as often as possible.

Folks, stay tuned for what ever is coming next. With my life being what it is, one never knows. 😉

A big "thank you" to Facebook for facilitating the re-connection. 👍🏾

p.s. Today's date has been cancelled. 🔕

No, not because of the re-connect with my teen-age sweetheart.

One, I realized early Wednesday evening that I wasn't in the mood to make the extended drive to meet the guy. Two, I realized late Wednesday evening that I hadn't heard from the guy all day. Three, I might be heading for a weekend at the beach later today.

I sent dude a text cancelling the date. I texted well before midnight so while it was late notice, I don't consider it last-minute notice. Yes, calling him probably would have been better. But I'm pretty sure he'll be okay with it. He seems to be that kinda guy.

Time for bed.

G'night y'all.

803.

Happy Tuesday folks.

I hope everyone is feeling swell today.

I'm good emotionally and psychologically. Physically I'm feeling a bit sluggish. But I'm trying to get it in gear so I can be ready for my early evening date.

Which will now be a late afternoon date, as I was given the option by my potential suitor.

We're also switching to Tex-Mex. Partly because I've had two dates at the Cajun spot in the past two years (one of them was my first date with the Hunk) but mostly because I'm just not that a big fan of that restaurant or Cajun food.

For folks who like gumbo and such, it's probably somewhere to frequent. But I don't eat gumbo so once a year at that place is good enough for me.

Any way folks, Google maps is saying I need to leave home by 3:20 to arrive at my location on time. It's almost 2 p.m. and y'all know I'm a tidsoptimist of the best kind. Not because I like being late but because the clock is not my friend. 😁

Also because my life of leisure just lends itself more to a sashay than a trot. 😜

If anyone is interested in learning how others like me get along in the world, check this out: The Tidsoptimist: 10 Confessions Of The Chronically Late.  😛

Of course we're not all the same but I can say numbers one (1) and two (2) definitely apply to me. Number four (4) describes me occasionally but not in an extreme way. (I don't have the apps on my phone and I don't sit at the laptop all day.)

Number eight (8) has been an occasional problem as well. Number nine (9) too...

Number 10 is an excuse I've used but on the occasions that it's been true. Seriously.

I see that something really really really important has been left off the list. Maybe it only applies to me (or a small-ish percentage of us Tids): blogging.  😂

Aaaaaannnnnnnd I'm outta here!  👋🏾

802.

Update on upcoming dates:

- Tuesday evening: dinner at a local Cajun restaurant. 🍤 🍥 🍖🍴

- Thursday tea and... at a coffee shop many miles away.  🍰 🍵 🍪 🍩


That is all.

801.

Happy Monday folks.

It's a warm sunny day in my neck of the woods.

There is lots to do today but I've been relaxing. Again.

For the past several hours I've been craving a succulent pork chop with mashed potatoes and a huge green salad.  😋

It's not likely I'll get that meal so I'm thinking about dinner at my favorite local Mexican restaurant.

Something I forgot to share with y'all the other day:

I dreamed I was in a shop trying on wedding dresses. I found one I liked and was allowed to take it home to try it on for my mom.

When I tried it on for my mom, I looked in the mirror and the dress had become a different dress. It was a shade of aqua green, covered in sequins of the same color, form-fitting, knee-length, with cap sleeves that stopped a few inches below the shoulders.

Hmmmm...

Green is on my list of least favorite colors however I don't mind a particular shade with more of a blue hue.

But it was supposed to be my wedding dress and it was white (off-white?) when I left the store with it and a totally different style.

Who wants to get married in green?  😕

800.

Despite the extreme ugliness that has gripped America since number 45 began his presidential run, despite the horror that was Charlottesville, VA recently, some of us colored folk know that all white people are not stark raving lunatic racists.

But we need y'all to stand up and step up en masse!

Please and thank you.

799.

Dinner was... uninspiring.  😐

Chemistry either is or isn't. 😑

That is all. 😴😴😴

798.

So I've decided to accept a date for a late dinner 🍝 and dessert 🍧 at a 24-hour diner down in the big city. 😋

I've been inside for the past several days and I feel like being social for a few hours. 😁

We've been e-mailing, texting, and talking for a couple of days. It's probably time to meet and see what the face-to-face chemistry is like.  😀

Time to get it in gear!

More later y'all.  👋

797.

Happy Sunday folks and blessed be!

I hope everyone is somewhere safe and happy, physically and mentally.

It's been a very relaxing day chez Bliss.

I've been eating and drinking with abandon: a half cup of strawberries, two fried eggs and a cup of cinnamon applesauce -- organic cinnamon...

Lots of talking and texting with one of my sistas as well as a few would-be paramours.

I also got a call from the ex-husband and I'm happy to say he's still with us. (Side note: I still plan to call him later this week. Something was definitely off about that call last night.)

Surprisingly, I've gotten several (four - 4) offers for same-day dates today. I say "surprisingly" because if I recall correctly, Sunday is usually pretty slow on the dating site.

To them I say: thank you for your interest however we won't be meeting if we have nothing in common.

But I've been noticing a trend lately. It seems that men in the 50-and-over demographic -- in addition to being (mostly) immature -- are all singing the same Al Green song:

My momma was a huge Al Green fan and I love this song. (Check out his hair too y'all.)  And sometimes I don't like being alone either. But desperation has a bad smell to it. So does wanting to be in a relationship to ensure being "taken care of" by someone in old age or illness.

Now if all parties enter the relationship with an understanding of the exact terms and all agree, then by all means, rock on.

If I've said it once here, I've said it often and will again: my next long-term partner will be everything I need and at least 98 percent of what I want.

I do believe in love! I do believe in love. I do, I do, I do, I do, I do believe in love! 💕💕💕

And I want everyone else to believe in love too. But I get it that some may not. 😞

My prayer for me: that I am always content enough to enjoy my own company and loved enough to have someone willing to help me when I need it.

Amen. 😌

796.

Good, good, good evening everyone. 👋🏽👋🏽👋🏽

It's been an interesting day chez Bliss. Mostly relaxing and quiet but there was a bit of excitement.

Several hours of my day were spent talking to a few guys I met on one of the online dating sites I'm registered with.

The conversations were... interesting. Maybe I should no longer be amazed at the (relative) immaturity of men in the 50-and-over demographic but I am. 😞

Don't misunderstand me folks. There is nothing wrong with being youthful. Childish, on the other hand, is a total turn off. 👎🏽 Sadly, the two are often mistaken for being interchangeable. 😞

In other news, I received a strange phone call from one of my ex-husbands today. He said he was in town for an event.

Cool.

I thought he was gonna say he wanted to hang out or meet for dinner.

He didn't so I asked him if he wanted to meet. He said he wouldn't be able to. I asked him several questions about his visit and his answers were odd, cryptic. Like he couldn't say what he wanted to say or wouldn't for some odd reason.

It was a strange conversation, like a something important was hanging in the silence.

Then he said he would see me next time he came to town. I agreed and we rang off.

Unsettling. 😕

About an hour ago I texted him to ask if he's okay. No response. Nothing for me to do at this point except say a prayer for his safety and make a note to call him one day next week.

Stay tuned...

795.

Happy Saturday folks.

It's a dreary day chez Bliss.

Inside, my home looks like a small tornado touched down and the clean up has yet to begin. Outside, the skies are white, white, white. It rained earlier and the cloud cover remains intact.

No worries because although I've been thinking about making a plantain chips run, I probably won't go out today.

I stayed in last night because I was tired. The guy who asked me to hang out texted me a shirtless photos a few hours after I told him I wasn't coming out. Funny and enticing but if you've seen one pic of sexy super-tight chocolate abs, you've seen 'em all, yes? 😯😬😜

If he'd sent me a picture of chicken nachos or lemon pepper wings, I might have been able to energize myself enough to meet him for dinner. 😁

I'm feeling sluggish right now. Probably too much glucose in my system because I ate a peach for breakfast. Should have eaten almonds with it.

Nothing much on the telly except cooking shows and cartoons. I do enjoy some of the cooking shows but they make me hungry.

Oooohhh look! The skies have turned blue and the sun is now gracing our day.  🌞

Cool!

It's likely I'm still not going out but I'm gonna open my front door to let more light in. Not too wide though because I'll probably doze off at some point. I really am tired.

I'm also hungry but don't feel like cooking. 😫😪😩

Woe is me!

794.

Good morning and Happy Friday y'all!

It's another day of emotional overload for me. It's definitely a confluence of several things: my feelings about what happened between the Hunk and I, the current Mercury retrograde, whatever hormonal phase I'm in right now due to my menstrual cycle and peri-menopause...

When I woke up, I felt fine. I've had a busy day talking to friends, doing laundry, washing dishes, fixing and eating lunch. It's only been in the past hour or two that I've begun to feel like I don't want to see or talk to anyone.

I went out to sweep my porch about 20 minutes ago and a hummingbird flew up to me, inches from my face. It looked at me, fluttered it's wings at hyper-speed for a few seconds, then flew back the way it had come.

Shocked and delighted, I immediately thought of the Hunk and burst into tears. 😟 One of the evenings we sat intertwined on his front steps, we observed and talked about all the hummingbirds flitting about in his yard and his neighbor's yard across the street.

I've lived here five years and while I have seen a few hummingbirds from a distance in the past several months (a downstairs neighbor one building over has a bird feeder in her yard), this is the first time in my life that I've had a personal visit from a hummingbird.

Blessed be!

Tears streaming, I googled the hummingbird totem and was immediately comforted by what I read.

If any of you want to know what it was, it's here: Hummingbird Animal Totem and Symbolic Hummingbird Meanings and here: Hummingbird Medicine (I love this one. 💕)

Speaking of Mercury retrograde, I know some of you are wondering if any of the exes have come calling.

Of course they have.  😎

One guy (who I won't name but who's been mentioned more times than any other guy I've dated over the years) contacted me online asking if he could call me. Short story: the answer was no.

Another guy -- let's call him the Jock -- (who I had one date with last year and didn't care to see again and who's been asking me off and on for another date for a year) invited me out last weekend. I went because I'd been inside all week and wanted to get out.

It wasn't what I'd call a date. He was out of town for an event and visiting family. I drove up Friday afternoon, hung out with him until late afternoon, met his grandma (a sweetheart) and mom (a pistol and a lot of fun), hung out with him and his mom that evening, slept on his sofa overnight, and headed back home before noon the next day.

There was a Goodwill up the street from where we stayed. Of course I had to make a pit stop on my way home. Two hours later, I left with a skirted bikini bottom in navy blue.

All in all, it was a pleasant enough distraction.

So now, a week later, homeboy is still calling and texting me. I'm not sure what his end game is but my bad for hanging out with dude.

Yes, yes, yes, it is true that I am a woman with a certain je ne sais quoi. And I know it makes me irresistible to a certain segment of the population. 😘

However, nothing remotely romantic happened between the Jock and I. We talked, laughed, ate, went to a social event (where about 95 percent of my time was spent with his momma because he was otherwise engaged), and slept in the same room.

He did bring up the fact that he'd recently retired from his second job and was contemplating retiring this year (a year early) from his decades-long career in sports. He also casually (?) mentioned that he could expect a rather hefty monthly income in retirement due to a canny investment made early in his career.

Ummm... Okay.

I have a rule about discussing money with people, their money or mine: I don't, unless it is absolutely necessary. With a few rare exceptions, I stick to this rule. There are friends who have known me for decades, know nothing about my finances, and never will.

The Jock's revelations made me uncomfortable. One, because I don't need to know anything about his money. Two, because I wasn't sure why he told me.

My guess is that it was bait of some sort.

Although I sometimes joke with my family that my next marriage will be for money (because I have always married for love), I am not and will never be the much-maligned gold digger.

True, my next partner will be a generous man of means. 😉 But there has to be so much more than that. Any man who would woo me using his money, influence, or acquaintances is a man who believes one or more of those things is the best he can offer me.

And sadly, if he believes it, it is so. 😔

No thank you.

My man and I will be good to and for each other, madly in love, best friends, incredible lovers, and compatible in all the ways that will make our relationship Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious.  😍😍😍

Seriously.

Any who folks, this post has taken way too long to write. I've taken a lunch break, laundry breaks, bathroom breaks... 

I think I need a nap. 

I also have an offer of a date at 7 with a guy I've gone out with before. He knows we're not each other's type. He just wants someone to hang out with tonight. 

He's cool so we'll see. 😄

793.

Howdy folks.

A sista is tired.

I went out for groceries today. It was a three-store adventure. First was my local grocery store, where I intended to get one item (plantain chips). Like I was really gonna get outta there with one item... 😜

There were several items on sale that I absolutely needed and $30 later, I was heading for the parking lot and my second stop.

At Aldi (second stop) I picked up two of my favorite and most necessary items: a seeded watermelon and almond butter. Another $30 spent.

At Target, my third and final stop, I found what I'd been craving: organic peaches. I also treated myself to my favorite flavor of Kevita. After grabbing a few staples (eggs, grapes, apples...), I sashayed over to self-checkout.

Another $22 shucked from my wallet and I was outta there.

During my shopping spree, I saw several things that reminded me of the Hunk. My mind drifted to thoughts of our time together and the aftermath (which would be now until...).

Maybe it's just because it's that time of the month but I had to fight to hold my tears. Literally. Mainly because I was out and didn't want to muss my make up.

I know for certain that he is not the man for me. Which does make me a little sad. I fell head over heels for the man I thought he was, the man he thought he was, the man I would love madly and forever if he had been the man he's not. 😞

We had so much in common, many similar life experiences, a chemistry that was off the charts...

And although I love where I live and didn't want to move to his location, although I didn't like riding in his sports car, even though I felt like his deck was unsafe, and I didn't like how he had electrical cords running under rugs and carpets, of all the men I've dated in the past few years, as of today, the Hunk is the one man I felt super connected to.

Even so, the issues that separate us -- that torment him -- are entirely too serious for me to even think about overlooking.

La vida... It is what it is, he is who he is, I am who I am. 😐

But there is also the red string...

It might sound weird to some of you, dear readers, but I know it will resonate with at least one of you. The Hunk and I share a karmic connection that is deeper than romance. A past-life situation, our DNA... I can't say for sure. But our birthmarks were mirror images and we had lots of moles in the same locations. Once he looked at a photo of us and said we looked like brother and sister. 😱 I did see a faint resemblance but not enough to say we were related. 😌

However, I logged into AncestryDNA one day while I was at his home and there was a list of last names for some sort of community DNA links. (If I understood correctly, community DNA links are links based on my DNA and the area I'm from.) Although there is no one in my family with the Hunk's last name (and I can trace back several generations on both sides), his last name was on my community DNA list.

That was freaky and gave me a creepy feeling. 😟😨

The time I spent with the Hunk is now catalogued in my personal history under Things I'll Probably Never Figure Out.

I don't mean why things didn't work out between us. I believe know that answer. My question is why we met at all. Although in a previous post I said I thought I knew, it's possible the complete answer may never be revealed to me. 😶

Que sera, sera...

As time passes, my gift for processing and releasing undesirable events will help the less-than-positive aspects of our interaction fade.

Good for me.

And although I don't believe I will ever see the Hunk again in real life, I know he will always lurk in the periphery of my waking thoughts, possibly visit me in my dreams.

My prayer for him: that he is one day able to receive healing and know the freedom that comes with self-acceptance and self-love.

My prayer for me: that I am ever more resilient, always willing to look at myself, see myself, and be ever willing to make any adjustment(s) necessary for my healing and highest good.

Amen.

792.

Good morning folks.

A few minutes ago I saw a video that I'm sharing here.

It's covers a topic that is sadly often taboo in the African-American community. I hope it helps someone.

DMC from Run DMC on Mental Health and why it's good to talk.

Amen.

791.

Hello everyone.

Just a quick update:

First, thank you to everyone for the prayers, positive energy, healing thoughts, and all things wonderful sent my way. I appreciate you all and send virtual rainbows 🌈, sparkles ✨✨✨, and lots of love 💕💕💕 in exchange.

An update on my dad: I talked to him today. He was in good spirits and his voice was strong but he was very forgetful. I know cognitive issues can be common post-stroke so I'm not overly worried but it is disquieting.

It's another reminder that daddy's health is definitely declining. My prayer for him is that he's at peace with his life and remembers that he is loved by many. Amen.

My grandma is healing quite well and has already resumed many of her favorite grandmotherly activities. 😁

Baby Bliss and I took in a movie earlier this evening. We saw "The Dark Tower".  Not as bad as some of the critics (both paid and those of the backseat driver variety) made it sound.

Yes, there were seven (or eight) books in the series. (None of which I read, big huge Stephen King fan that I am... 😩)

No, this movie does not have time to cover the whole series. Big whoop. There's no way I can think of to compress that much material into one movie and this one only runs for an hour and a half.

So why see the movie then complain that it didn't accurately reflect the books? 😆😐😶

Any way, Baby Bliss and I enjoyed lots of aspects of the movie. Maybe there will be another installment...

On another note, sometimes when I come home after dark there is a single cockroach waiting for me on my porch. It's always sitting right where it can be seen. I'm not sure if it's the same cockroach each time but it's like it's waiting to make sure I get in safely. 😉

If I've already shared this information, please forgive me. I don't remember and I'm not gonna go back to check. Also, some of you may not know either. What's a few re-hashed stories between friends right? 😁

But I'm sure lots of you know that I believe in signs and omens, dreams and red strings of fate, yes?

And there's the animal totem thing as well. Which also extends to insects. (Y'all know where this is going right?)

Although they are on my list of Things to Never Bring into the House, cockroaches do have an interesting totem story. If I shared it before, feel free to ignore the link. If you don't know what I'm talking about, read here: Cockroach Animal Totem.

G'night y'all.  😴😴😴

790.

Good morning everyone and Happy Monday.

I hope everyone is doing well.

I'm doing as well as I can, under the circumstances.

So much going on...

This is a very emotional time for me and I'm crying as I write this post.

Uppermost in my mind is my dad.

We just rang off. I also talked to him yesterday.

He sounded better physically today than yesterday. His voice was stronger, his responses were faster, and he seemed to be in better spirits overall.

But mentally he's still in a warp of some sort. He has a medical procedure scheduled for the end of August and it's worrying him terribly. Each time I've talked to him in the past several weeks, he's brought up the procedure and has told me it was scheduled for "next week".

One time I talked to him and he was crying. It was heart-breaking to hear my dad cry and I cried too. He told me to look after his wife if anything happened to him.

His wife later told me that he thought he would die during the procedure.

I am so thankful to have had my dad for 50 years. But I am aware that he grows older and more frail by the day. I'm sure his recent heart attack and subsequent stroke did nothing to improve his condition.

In addition, my (maternal) grandmother -- who helped raise me -- has also faced recent health challenges that slowed her down tremendously.

Two of the people who influenced my childhood, and therefore helped shape me, are fading away slowly.

I know we can't live forever but are we ever ready to lose the people we love?

Hopefully no one is dying tomorrow but I know they're going and I know there's nothing I can do to prepare myself.

This too is part of life...

Once again I'm asking you all, my virtual friends and family, to uplift me in prayer and positive thoughts and send positive and healing energy my way.

I need it.

Thank you all in advance.

Amen.

789.

Today's observation:


When people make promises but don't keep them, they're just being who they are.

Sometimes they aren't aware. Sometimes they are.

La vida...

788.

Happy Thursday everyone!

It's been a whirlwind two weeks for me.

Glutton for punishment that I am, I re-visited the Hunk.

Literally.

Twice.

Yes, yes, yes. I know.

I probably shouldn't have.  😆

But I thought it was worth making sure.

And it was.

I am now sure we are not meant to be. Not in the way he or I had hoped for. 😐

At times like this, I am reminded of how thankful I am to have had Mr. Bliss in my life.

He taught me so much about love and what's acceptable and what is not.

He was a man who stood proud and tall, although his physical stature was only 5' 7".

Not proud in the sense of "Pride goeth before a fall". (Although we did have a few incidences of that during our relationship. 😆)

Mr. Bliss took a quiet and humble pride in being who he was: a man who loved unconditionally, a man of peace and reconciliation, a man of compassion who very rarely had anything derogatory or harsh to say about another living thing.

He was a happy man, always meeting folk with a smile or a grin.

He was also a mature man who about 99 percent of the time displayed actions that were in line with his chronological age.

One of the (many) things I loved about Mr. Bliss was that he never went to bed mad at me, without kissing me good night and telling me he loved me.

It didn't matter who committed the "offense". Before he closed his eyes, he wanted me to know that he loved me. And he didn't hold grudges.

He was love, forgiveness, unselfishness personified. Again, that was about 99 percent of the time. 😉He was no angel but I know now that he was as close to it on this earth as I've ever experienced.

I won't harp on anything further here, at least not now.

I drove home this morning and I'm tired. I might need a nap soon.

What I will say is that I know, I know, I know this for sure: a person who doesn't love himself (regardless of the reason) will love not you. It's not possible. 😞

For my readers who will never give up on finding the romantic partner who sets their soul ablaze (as I won't), I say this: never forget to love yourself and delight in your own company. It is paramount to your existence, your peace, your happiness. 💕

While my brief interlude with the Hunk left me disappointed, I am not disheartened.

You, my faithful readers, should know by now that "Resilience" is truly my middle name.

I believe, I believe, I believe that the heretofore absent Lover I seek is seeking me too. One day we'll be at the same place at the same time and rainbows will appear in the sky as our eyes meet.

😊🌈🌈😊

And we'll live a life of extraordinary and exquisite enchantment.

Until then, the dance continues...

Amen.

787.

Something beautiful I came across this morning:

The Red Thread by Jennifer Grant

786.

Good morning everyone.

It's been a long week for me and I'm exhausted but it's time to hip y'all to more details of my latest adventure.

First,  I came home last night because it really was time to get outta Dodge. There is nothing like the comfort of being surrounded by the things that are familiar and welcoming and I remain ever thankful to have my own roof to return to.

Ya know, the world is full of all kinds of people and I seem to meet the most interesting of the bunch. Lucky me. 🤓

The gentleman with whom I spent the past week was definitely in that group.

The healer in me understands why we met.

He is a man in crisis although he is unaware.

From the anecdotes he shared with me, I believe his past work history (military and law enforcement) and traumatic events in his childhood have severely damaged his world view as well as his psyche.

However I also believe he is a kind and loving man because he was able to genuinely able to express those actions and emotions for, to, and with me.

He is lonely and believes being in a romantic relationship will help fill in the blanks in his life. On the surface it appears so. But our time spent together went deeper than the surface, whether or not he realized it, and I was able to see him.

A real conundrum. A sad one as well.

He needs help but it's not my assignment. I'm not that kind of healer, thank God.

Perhaps my role was just to uncover those scabs, to give him an inkling that healing is needed. I don't know...

We are who we are, this I do know. And I try not to judge people harshly because I am included in that "we" as well. I know we should not be looked down upon for being different from her or him or they.

But if we are to heal, we must be willing to seek out and acknowledge the parts of us that are "different" enough to isolate us (or cause us to isolate) in unhealthy ways and for unhealthy reasons. If we can't do this, regardless of the reason, we will remain stuck in whatever rut we've ground ourselves into.

My prayers for him as he moves forward: that he's one day able to see that his soul needs soothing on a deeper level than being in a relationship can provide.

I don't want y'all to think that my visit was a bad one. It wasn't. We got along well and he treated me very well when he was able to maintain his... sense of reality and... rationality.

We went to the gym, the grocery store, the mall, downtown to stroll... He cooked for me, ran me soothing baths for my sore muscles, even shampooed my hair one day.

We both love music and have an affinity for vinyl. One of the most interesting days we had was the day we went to the record store, had drinks at that world-famous coffee chain, strolled downtown, then headed home to listen to the crisp and undistorted hisses and pops that make vinyl so good to the ear.

I wish things could have worked out between us, even in friendship. Maybe one day...

However today I must tend to me. A few days ago there was a tickle in my throat. It progressed to a sore throat joined by a stuffy nose and coughing. Now I'm having full-fledged "dirty filter" or "dirty vent" syndrome: I'm expelling ugly mucous from nose and throat.

Thank God for oil of oregano. It was the only thing that helped me sleep last night.

More later...

785.

Hello folks and happy Tuesday.

Today has been an emotional roller coaster for me. I've cried at least three times today, possibly more.

I guess it's just that time of the month.

I'm still on my extended visit with my latest suitor and I'm enjoying our time together. We talked about extending my visit indefinitely but I'm thinking tomorrow will be the day to head home.

Too much of a good thing is not a good thing, ya know?

I also know how I get when my hormones are surging uncontrollably. Not the most pleasant or level-headed-person to be around.

And like the old folk say, "Don't overstay your welcome".

Toodles for now...

784.

Update:

So I'm still awake (barely) in my room at the Hunk's. I've been talking to Baby Bliss and texting with her, my mom, and my sista in Arizona.

I assume the Hunk is asleep in his room on the other side of the house. He was tired around 11 p.m. (me too); we said good night in the living room at 11:30.

We've had a long day and I think neither of us got much sleep last night although we retired to our separate quarters fairly early.

We also got up early.

It was six-ish when I heard him moving about.

Not wanting to be the bad house guest, I got up soon after. We lounged on the sofa, talked about potential plans for the day and watched the big screen. Finally it was time to get ready so we could head out for breakfast.

After breakfast (at Cracker Barrel), we headed back here for a brief sit-down before we headed to the movie theater.

We saw "Baby Driver", a movie that made me gasp, scream, curse, and laugh out loud. It was pretty good though not what I expected. I think the Hunk enjoyed it too.

After the movie we made a short pit stop at the house again then headed to the mall. But the weather got bad and so did the traffic. We decided to head back home with a stop at Walmart along the way for a few items.

We got home some time after 5 p.m., just in time to start dinner and avoid me succumbing to a low-glucose incident.

He cooked delicious pork chops for us both. My side item was mixed veggies with extra corn. He had something similar but from a different package because his corn came with a seasoned sauce of some sort.

Fancy.

While he cooked dinner I showered and changed into my loungewear because I was tired and we had no plans for anything other than dinner and chilling at the house.

After we ate, I washed dishes then we talked and watched a few things on telly. By 11 p.m. he was ready to turn in and so was I.

He said he's waking me up at 6 a.m.

I hope he was joking. Last night I tossed and turned all night. I need a restful night if I'm gonna function later today (Saturday).

Not that we'll be doing much. It's supposed to rain most of the day which might keep us in (which is fine with me).

He seems to think we need to be out and about the whole time I'm here but for me this is like a mini-vacation. My vacations are usually laid back, with nothing happening on a set schedule, not even meals.

He's ex-military so I guess the strict time thing is still part of his overall lifestyle.

Any way folks, I'm nodding.

Ciao!

783.

Good evening folks.

I hope everyone is somewhere safe and healthy.

I'm happy to report that Baby Bliss and I have mended our fences and are once again living blissfully.

Hallelujah. 💕

As for the Hunk and I, we are currently enjoying a convivial visit at his home, in a location that shall forever remain undisclosed.

Stay tuned folks.

Good night everyone.

782.

Good evening folks.

It is with much regret that I inform you all that Baby Bliss and I are on the outs. I don't know what bug plopped in her soup but it must have been a big one.

She seemed to think that I should have cut short an important phone call to talk to her, which I have done in the past. But in recent months, I have decided that I will no longer do so because there have been too many times to count where my child has either ignored my call(s), cut our conversations short because of Friend A/B/C (or her boyfriend or his family or friends), or she ignores my texts until she sees fit to respond.

Cool.

I am her mother and I love her more than I have ever loved anyone else in my life. However if she makes it obvious that I am not a priority for her, then I will no longer go into panicked mama mode any time she decides she's gonna grace me with a few minutes of her time when I'm engaged in other pursuits.

She is an adult and free to live her life any way she chooses but she does not get to decree how I'll live my life. It certainly won't be lived as a member of her court. I am not her lady in waiting and won't be treated as such.

Love does not mean compliance.

🌸 🌸 🌸 🌸 🌸

As the world turned today, the Hunk and I shared a few more conversations and did a ton of texting. I'm hoping that even if our situation doesn't become a serious love connection, we can still be friends.

He's a smart man and it's rare that I meet someone who shares my interests as well as my intellect. I also think we can learn a lot from each other.

Que sera, sera...  💃

Time to snore folks!

Sweet dreams...

781.

Happy, happy Wednesday y'all!

I hope everyone is healthy and safe today.

My day began early. Very early.

My eyes opened around 6:30 a.m. 👀 I tried to return to sleep but it didn't happen.

Ahhh well... There were some urgent items on my to-do list so I began my day around 8.

By 9:30 I was ready to run errands. The weather was lovely (sunny, slightly breezy, barely warm) so I decided to walk.

When I arrived at the post office, the weather had begun to heat up and it was very warm inside the post office. Not stifling but I knew it would be if they didn't get the air cranked up soon.

Next I stopped at the local market for plantain chips. I left with the chips, kale, mac and cheese (already cooked), a sweet potato, Meyer lemons, 💕 sweet almond oil, arnica, and my favorite body oil (Vanilla Musk by Kuumba Made).

Definitely more than I intended to buy but I need to eat and drink today and tomorrow, my arnica stash needed replenishing, and the previous vial I'd bought of Vanilla Musk has gone missing.

The sweet almond oil was more of an impulse buy but it won't go to waste.

🌸 🌸 🌸 🌸 🌸

Mr. Skittish has called me twice today, the first time to check on me (he knows I broke up with the ex-paramour) and the second time to issue a directive about my upcoming visit with the Hunk.

He also told me I need to come visit him this summer so we can hang out and do fun things together. We haven't had a visit since our little New Year's party so probably.

Although he and I met on a dating site, he's become a loyal friend and more like a brother. He and I have discussed the fact that he's not really ready to date although he does want a companion. I guess I'm his stand-in when he gets to feeling too lonely.

I think most of us desire a romantic partner of some sort and I believe Mr. Skittish will be a devoted significant other to someone when he's ready, whenever that may be.

🌸 🌸 🌸 🌸 🌸

In other news, the Hunk and I texted and talked this morning as I ran my errands and returned home.

Nothing earth-shattering. Just every day stuff and more about planned activities for my visit.

Which reminds me that I need to create my packing list so I can begin gathering my clothes and other accoutrement.

But right now I feel a long nod coming around the bend.

Nap time.

Gotta turn off the pot on the stove first.

More later folks.

780.

p.s.

Tomorrow's date is cancelled.

With all of today's excitement, I didn't realize I hadn't heard from that guy today. But just as I closed my laptop to lay down, I got a text from him asking if I was still awake.

Dude...

Bad start to any type of relationship.

Or as my momma would say, "You done let somebody else beat your time."

As you were fella.

😝💤💤💤

779.

Good evening everyone.

I hope you've all enjoyed a pleasant and productive day.

It's been an interesting one chez Bliss. 😏

After my last post, I zonked out pretty quickly.

Well folks, I just happened to be rolling over an hour later when the screen on my phone lit up and the phone rang.

It was the Hunk, full of vim and vigor, excitedly rambling on about something he and I had discussed earlier in the evening.

My heart was racing as I listened, not sure if I was awake or dreaming.

As he paused for my response, I gathered my thoughts and told him how the phone had scared me and I needed to get up to find my lavender essential oil.

He apologized and said he called was because I'd told him I was a night owl, he was up and at 'em, and he thought I would be too.

He offered to let me return to my slumber but I declined and decided he needed to talk to me until I was able to wind down.

Which he happily agreed to do. 😐😀😶

After we'd talked for about an hour, he said it sounded like I was ready to nod. I was and after a few more minutes of conversation, we rang off.

I had hoped to sleep until 10 a.m. but I was awake before 8 a.m.  *sigh*

The Hunk called again right before noon, beginning a round of back-and-forth phone calls that ended when he called to say good night shortly after 9 p.m.

We talked for 30 or 45 minutes, ending with assurances that we'd talk tomorrow.

In between our first phone call and our last, we did a lot of texting.

We're both Gemini (which means any conversation we have involves four people) and our topics were all over the place.

In fact, while we were texting I was also e-mailing him from my phone (because he can't get images in his texts) so he was responding to texts and emails from me.

One of our conversations revolved around our plans for my visit. We established my arrival date and time as well as some of the things we'll do while I'm there, down to what we'll eat.

The planning itself is fun and it's nice that he seems to be as excited about it as I am.

We also discussed the protocol for my visit (dress code for lounging around the house, no sex, no tobacco, etc.) as well as the possible outcomes of my visit and what those possibilities could mean for us both.

Although we both know what we would like the outcome to be (because we've talked about it), I suggested we go into the visit with no expectations and no pressure so that we both feel as comfortable as possible during our time together.

I also mentioned that we could take any time necessary during my stay to talk about what ever we felt needed discussing. (Because at some point we will want to talk about what we're feeling and thinking. It's how Gemini processes life.)

The Hunk agreed with all.

In the many conversations we've had in the past week, we've touched on lots regarding dating and relationships (of course).

And although we do have common interests and similar life stories, as I've learned from living, it takes a whole lotta commitment to make a relationship work.

From what he's shared with me thus far, the Hunk seems willing to put in the work. Whether it's with me or someone else remains to be seen.

I don't say that because I doubt the attainability of our shared desire.

You all should know by now that I am the eternal optimist who believes in Love💕, Magick 💫, fairytales, rainbows🌈, Unicorns🦄🦄, heads-up pennies...

However I am also a practical realist who believes in hard work and perseverance. 💪🏾

If the Hunk and I can merge all those details into one big delicious lip-smacking five-star feast, we'll do just fine.

Here's to new beginnings.  🍧 🍯🍒

Good night y'all. 💤💤💤

778.

Happy Monday everyone!

I hope you all had a safe and stress-free weekend.

Now let's get right to it, shall we?

Tales from the dating world:

🌸 The ex-paramour and I are done. There was no card game and there won't be any for me (with him) in the future.

I've decided to let sleeping 🐕 🐕 🐕 🐕 lie with that situation.  😄😁😂

🌸 I have a date scheduled for Wednesday afternoon with a gentleman I met online yesterday. He's very tall, articulate, retired military, self-employed, interesting.

However, from our conversations, I don't think I'm really his type but I know he thinks I am. I'll meet him for a late lunch and perhaps he'll become a client, a friend, or a resource.

🌸 As for the guy I had the date with Saturday -- let's call him The Hunk -- we have plans to spend  the 4th of July holiday together. I'll head his way mid-morning on Friday, which gives me three days to vet him.

The invite is actually for a five-day/four-night stay at his home, up an additional night from the previous offer. I suspect it will turn into a six-day/five-night stay because Tuesday is the 4th and who heads home on a holiday?

I guess we can say he's invited me for a week-long stay. A bit much for a first visit, yes. But I'll be driving so I can leave any time I like.

There's more but I'm sleepy.

Bon noche folks!

777.

Miracle of miracles, I arrived on time and before my date arrived. What are the odds?  😂

The date went well. Dinner and a stroll at the mall. He offered several times to buy me things and like the well-bred lady I am, I declined.

He was very handsome, much better looking than his photo. Beautifully smooth chocolate skin, a gorgeous smile, friendly eyes, an open face.

He's exactly my height, muscular build, and yes, there is a second date planned.

I'm home and he's making the hour plus drive back to his home. It would have been nice to extend the date but a sista has other things to attend to.

The most recent ex-paramour and I have decided we can still socialize together so we're gonna go play cards with some friends.

Should be fun. I like playing cards.

Ciao for now folks!

776.

Happy Saturday folks!

I'm counting down to time to get ready for my 4 p.m. date. It's now 2 p.m. and time to get in gear so I'm not late, as is often the case.

From the discussions I've had with the date (several hours over the past 12 hours), I know he's always on time and usually early.

A little about him: retired from both military and federal government, divorced, no children, no pets, non-smoker, light drinker, home owner, northern transplant.

We seem to have many common interests, the most promising being our love of music and the way we handle our finances.

And yes, I did get my mani-pedi this morning.

The salon I visited first was booked so I went to the one Baby Bliss favors. They fit me in and the results are quite nice. But I did re-polish my fingernails when I got home because the color I picked in the salon wasn't quite sparkly enough when I got outside.

What is life without a little shimmer and shine? 😁 🌟 🌟 🌟 🎊 🎊 🎊 🎉 🎉 🎉

Nail polish, lipstick, a smidge of body glitter on the shoulders... It's all good.

Okay folks gotta run!

The date has to drive for over an hour; he just called to say he's on his way to get gas then heading to the restaurant.

Time to hit the shower.

More later... 😉

775.

And just like that  ✨ ✨ ✨ I have a dinner date scheduled for tomorrow, early evening.

If I get to bed early enough -- say midnight or 1 a.m. instead of 3 or 4 a.m. -- I can get up early and get a mani-pedi before my date.

This season's "it color" for nail polish is rose gold, a color I happen to be fond of. It's also a color I have in my shrinking stash.

Now that Baby Bliss is no longer my nail technician, I'll have to head out to the salon. There are two less than a mile from me and they both charge the same for what I want so it's a toss up.

The salon my daughter likes is closest but I've never used their services. They have a specific technique that makes the polish last longer and Baby Bliss likes that technique because she likes as much time as possible between visits.

I like as much time as possible between visits too, at least a year. That's usually my in-between time for nail salon visits, preferring to have my mani-pedis done at home by Baby Bliss. But since she's no longer available, off to the salon for me.

My last visit was a month or so ago. I'm going again tomorrow because it's difficult to remove the clear polish from my "French" pedicure which is my fault for adding several layers in the weeks after my visit.

My nails also need to be trimmed and my cuticles need help too.

If I didn't have a date I probably wouldn't bother but it's nice to be pampered sometimes and a date is a good excuse for it.

And now I have to go folks. Time for dinner or something similar. 🍉 🍖 🍤 🍱 🎂  I'm hungry.

Have a good one people!

774.

Happy Friday folks!

I come to you all with a clean slate, so to speak. It's a few days after my birthday and I am also once again newly single.

The paramour and I are done. Not by mutual agreement (he disagreed) but it had to be done.

At this stage of my life, I require a partner whose life is aligned with mine in Things of Importance.

Although the paramour and I had a really good time together, it was The Other Things that snuffed the candle.

One was his schedule. While he did make time for me, he was often busy with projects that left him unavailable to me in a way that made me uncomfortable.

On the flip side, the more time we spent together, the more I realized how our lives did not mesh well.

For example, I have no debt and don't wish to acquire any at this age. He has what I consider a lot of debt and it seemed to be no big deal to him.  👀

Another thing is that I keep any documentation that I feel I might need to produce for any government authority, for whatever reason I can think of, from now into the unforeseeable future.

I know it's not necessarily a good thing but it's what I do. He throws out almost everything, something that bothered me immensely.

I honestly have the first income tax filing I ever made. Which sounds like something a hoarder might do, yes. But everything is filed away somewhere so no documents are piled in stacks and lying about. And I am aware that I need to shred those relics of a past life. (As well as some other documents.)

Purging, tossing, and shredding are always on my to-do list and I'll get back to them some time next week.

Which brings me to the time factor.

The now ex-paramour and I live about an hour apart which equaled a whole lotta driving back and forth.

Once we got to the point of overnights, if we were spending a few days together at either residence, it was no big deal. But unless he was coming here from work (a 20-minute drive), it wasn't feasible to come for just one night. (He works every week day and sometimes Saturdays as well.)

While he is buying a home closer to his job (which is also an hour from his residence) and to me, factoring in everything else, that's no longer of any consequence.

Ahhh well... It was fun while it lasted.

Time to enjoy some downtime and then we'll see what's next.

🌸 🌸 🌸 🌸 🌸

In other news, Baby Bliss has been talking about taking another vacation. It has been a year since our last one.

I would love to visit one of the villages in Italy's Cinque Terre but it will likely cost more than I'm currently comfortable spending.

Last year's vacation took a chunk out of my discretionary-expenses account because I paid for us both. If Baby Bliss can come up with at least half of her half, it will make a huge difference.

Well folks, time to get back to my day. I've been up for several hours but haven't eaten yet. Not good.

Enjoy your weekend!

773.

Good afternoon everyone.

I hope each of you is doing well.

As for me, I'm still struggling with periodic episodes of overwhelming hormonal surges.

Earlier today in Target, it hit me that I'm about to celebrate another birthday without Mr. Bliss. I felt very sad and began to cry. Wouldn't you know it, I had no tissue in my purse. (Which further upset me because I try to remember to always have a packet of tissue in my purse. It's an awful feeling to need tissue and not have it when out in public and it's a feeling I do not like.)

I found a chair in the furniture section and sat. My next thought was to call one of my aunts. She was at grandma's yesterday and I thought she would be there today. She wasn't. After I talked to grandma (who I did not say anything to about my situation because she's been ill for a few days and I didn't want to add any stress to her life), I felt better.

A few minutes later, in the check-out line, I felt fine.

I've been okay since then but I believe there will be more to come because it's that time of the month and I have a busy weekend planned which can possibly add to emotional overload.

One of my sisters is coming to help kick off my celebration. I get her from the airport tomorrow morning. It's likely the paramour is going with me but not certain. He and I still need to discuss sleeping arrangements in case we decide he's staying at my place this weekend with my sister and I.

He and I can sleep in my room if my sister doesn't mind sleeping in my daughter's messy room. Otherwise we'll have to figure out something else.

My mom arrives on Monday to kick off part two. She and I, along with Baby Bliss, will picnic at my favorite park and hopefully get massages and facials. My mom is treating because this is a milestone birthday for me and she's excited.

Sadly, grandma won't be able to participate at all due to being ill. It saddens me a bit because I don't know that she'll be alive for my next birthday celebration.

Okay, so the tears are back. I'm feeling like I don't want to celebrate a milestone birthday without Mr. Bliss.

Not that I don't want to have a birthday. At this moment, I just don't feel like I want to celebrate it without my Beloved.  💔

772.

I know it's been a while.

Life has been busy.

My dad's failing health, the paramour, my "female" issues, Baby Bliss living her own life and intersecting it with mine when it suits her...

It's all a big mish-mash of Life.

I'm hanging in here as best I can but some days I am overwhelmed.

Monday was one of those days.

I was home most of the day, tired and re-thinking my life as I'm likely to do at such times.

I reached a lot of different conclusions but acted on nothing because I'm learning that acting out when in crisis mode is the absolute wrong thing to do.

So here I am, blogging at 2 a.m. when I am so so so tired...

I guess part of it is that I wanted to reach out to you all, my cyberfriends because I know that even if I can't see any of you or talk to any of you, you're all there for me in some way.

Send positive energy, write me a poem, send me a rainbow or a unicorn.

As always, thank you all in advance.

Love,

K.

771.

A happy Sunday evening to one and all!

It has truly been a much-deserved weekend of bliss for the paramour and I.

Despite the fun of last weekend, the past few weeks have been stressful for me. I'm thankful that things seem to be leveling out but there is part of me that is waiting for the other shoe to drop while praying that it doesn't.

Yes, a contradiction but my life is full of them.

Finding the balance is an ongoing endeavor but I remain thankful for this life regardless of the obstacles that come my way.

My paramour... He's a hard-working man who deserves to put his feet up a lot more than he does.

We were busy this weekend but we also had some much-needed down time.

Thank God for respites.

And now folks, we are tired here and it's time for lights out.

Sweet dreams to you all.  💤

770.

Happy Sunday y'all! 😀

I hope everyone is healthy and happy today. I certainly am.

It's been a really good weekend with the paramour so far and I'm still enjoying it.  😍

More later...

769.

Good morning folks and Happy Thursday.

I was up and at 'em early today but not by choice. The paramour had an early call time. Did I mention that he has a job and a business?

He's a hard-working man. It's a good character trait but too much of a good thing can be deadly, as I believe was the case with Mr. Bliss's illness and death. The last month he worked, he worked the entire month and many of those days exceeded 12 hours.

That on top of all the previous days, weeks, and months that he'd worked excessive hours in any randomly-picked 24-hour period. Add in poor eating habits and there's the cocktail for illness and finally death.

The paramour and I discussed the aforementioned and he said he's slowed down a bit since he and I began dating and I'm thankful. Not just because it gives us more time together. It's also about his health, regardless of who he's dating.

Lately I've been researching more on sleep patterns as they relate to health and healing. Some of the information is scary enough to make me get more sleep.

My new goal is to be in bed before midnight at least four out of seven nights per week. To help with this plan, I set a phone alert for 10:45 p.m. telling me to get ready for bed.

🌻 🌻 🌻 🌻 🌻

So, the paramour and I had an interesting night. He bought a new cell phone and switched carriers and it took us a while to activate the phone and set up his new account.

Once that was done, it was time for snoring. 

We were both tired. Me from my long weekend: 12+ hours of long-distance driving, working to help prep my sister's house for the party, the party itself, and the visit with my dad. My sweetie spent most of the weekend rehabbing his latest property.

🌻 🌻 🌻 🌻 🌻

Looking back at my last five or six posts, I see that I neglected to mention my sleepover at the paramour's house last week.

He lives about an hour south of me, in the woods. It's a neighborhood but it's outside of the city and it backs right to what I call the forest.

His house is beautifully decorated. Very neat too which left me wondering how we'll manage to co-habitate on a daily basis if we do marry.

This city girl enjoyed the peace and quiet but the centipede that met me in the shower was not to my liking. 🐛😱

I'm scheduled to return for the coming holiday weekend. Although it's possible he'll work part of Saturday, we're going to a family celebration at his sister's that day. Hopefully we'll relax on Sunday because he said we might have folks over on Monday for a cookout.

Sounds like I have another busy weekend in store, yes?

However, I will not be taking any Geritol. Although I did get some last year (courtesy of an ex), I realized there are ingredients in those things that give me serious pause.

But I haven't given up hope on finding a good multi-vitamin. In my research I came across Ritual and based on good reviews, I'm gonna try this brand.

🌻 🌻 🌻 🌻 🌻

In other news, it seems my hair has been growing faster than usual in the past several months. I am locking my hair (for the third time in 20 years) and in the past 90 or so days, I've tightened it at least twice each month.

I don't know the reason for this accelerated growth. Perhaps it's something I've been eating...

I'm thinking about henna-ing my hair again soon. It's a long and tedious process but I had mostly positive results with it in the past. We'll see.

Time for lunch folks. No breakfast and I'm starving. 

Maybe I'll be able to get a nap in soon.