713.

In late April, T, a long-time friend passed away. Her funeral was held the first Saturday in May. I drove six hours round trip that day, to say goodbye to my friend and visit with her family.

Her mom, M, and I have grown close in the 25+ years I've known their family. The last time I saw M was at T's funeral.

This morning, M was in the last dream I had just before waking.

A, a guy I dated in my early 20s, was in the dream too.

A and I were in M's kitchen with M. She had lost a lot of weight and she was wearing a wig, something she's never done in waking life. I knew it was her although she didn't look like herself.

A was sitting at the table. M was at the stove cooking something in a frying pan that looked like Native American fry bread. M called it something that I can't remember. I was standing near M, off to one side.

She and I were talking about T and how much T loved the bread M was cooking.

A was quiet, anxiously awaiting his bread.

Suddenly M's wig went missing in one of those mysterious ways that things happen in dreams. With her own hair she looked like herself.

The bread was done; M plated a huge piece and spread some sort of reddish goo on it that might have been some kind of fruit preserves. She gave it to A.

That's when I woke up.

I realized right away that it had been too long since I'd spoken with M. I called her right away. We talked for over two hours, catching up and reminiscing.

The rest of my Sunday was quiet and uneventful.

It turned out to be a good weekend after all.

I'm thankful.

There have been many many dreams between this one and the one I wrote about prior to this one. Silly me for not journaling them here or on paper.

My dream book had some pretty interesting things to say about the symbols I recalled from my Sunday morning dream.

1. Mother: see Parents - to dream of the parents of others indicates that you can count on the help of friends when you need it.

2. Wig: New faces in new places is the message contained in a dream featuring a wig or wigs

3. Cooking: One of the most fortunate dreams going; whether someone else was doing the cooking or you were doing it yourself, it is a promise of every material comfort in the near future.

4. Bread: if it was fresh, white, and tasty, your future is secure.

5. Kitchen: if the kitchen was modern and/or attractive and well-kept, it predicts good news or happy social events.

6. Fry: a dream of frying anything indicates unhappiness in love, unless you burned it, in which case you will soon be consoled.


Interesting.

712.

Happy Sunday folks.

My weekend turned out to be a mostly quiet one. Quite the opposite of what was planned but it's obviously what I needed.

As some of you know, for many in America, Thursday is the celebration of the country-stealing holiday we call Thanksgiving.

Hurray.

For me it's a time to spend in reflection and fellowship. Sometimes with family, sometimes not.

My birth family has been the source of many life lessons. But that's the way it's supposed to be, right?

Lately there have been lots of lessons.

One family member voted for Trump. Another texted several family members begging for money for an adult child who chooses to stay unemployed because he is too full of himself to take a job that's not in the field of his college major. Then there are the enablers who always make excuses for the others, regardless of the situation.

I really don't want to share a meal with these people.

I also know they'll want to talk about Mr. Bliss. He'll always be part of our family though he's no longer with us. I don't want to talk about him every single time we gather for family events.

Thinking about him while I'm going about my daily life has its own challenges. Being with a group of people who want to talk about him has been overly emotional in the past.

Baby Bliss has a paramour who's taking up a lot of her non-working hours so I expect she'll eat with his family.

Which leaves me here eating alone and I'm fine with it. That way if I want to cry, I can do it without feeling bad about it.

It looks like the rest of this week will be devoted to planning my Thursday meal.

Definitely macaroni and cheese. Frozen because there's no way I'm attempting that one from scratch.

Probably rotisserie chicken from my local Harris Teeter. Or maybe salmon, which I already have in the freezer.

A pie too. Pumpkin is the traditional dish for the holiday but I've never been a stickler for other people's traditions and I do love a good apple pie. Pie will be pre-cooked. I wish I could do it from scratch because I don't want the ton of sugar and other stuff they add in.

Hmmm... Maybe I will make my own apple pie. I've baked a few since Mr. Bliss departed. Not that mine are anywhere near as good as his, but I've learned that the hardest part is chopping, coring, and peeling the apples. I have a graham cracker crust that I've been anxious to use in an apple pie. It's not the usual crust for the pie but I love graham cracker crust so I want it.

If there's pie there should be vanilla ice cream. There are already two pints of Ben and Jerry's in the freezer: vanilla and Mint Chocolate Cookie. When ever I buy a favorite flavor of Ben and Jerry's, I buy a pint of vanilla to mix with it. Their delectable yummies are flavored ice creams mixed with other flavors and it's just too much flavor for me. So I mix with vanilla to get just the right amount of flavor for me.

Is that too much flavor for you?

Yes?

Exactly.

Veggies will probably be steamed kale and mashed sweet potatoes.

And because this time of year brings my favorite bread to the supermarket (I've loved it since childhood), there will be brown and serve rolls.

If I'm really lucky my other daughter (Baby Bliss' co-worker who we've adopted into the family and shall ever after be referred to as Big Sister Bliss) will make a chicken pot pie for me and I won't need the chicken/salmon or the bread. Maybe not the mac and cheese either.

Everyone cross your fingers for my pot pie. Big Sister Bliss makes a scrumptious chicken pot pie and she's been promising one since last week.

711.

Lest we forget, the Universe is always keen to remind us:


The best laid schemes o' Mice an' Men,  Gang aft agley.

(The best laid plans of mice and men often go awry.)


- Robert Burns


On a happier note, I can see beautiful leaves drifting past my window as they make their descent toward what might become their final resting place. 

710.

Tired.

Achy.

Sleepy.

709.

I'm getting just awful at publishing my blog posts in a timely manner...

Shame on me!

I did have a date Wednesday, with a guy I met online. (Of course.)

It was... interesting.

We met face-to-face at the car dealership because it needed to go for servicing and he wanted to introduce me to his service guy. (We drive the same make of car.)

Although we'd planned the date the week before, the night before he told me that though we were meeting at 11 a.m., he had a doc appointment at 1 p.m.

Okay...

Well, we met and then he wanted to grab a bite with me.

Um, okay.

I reminded him of his 1 p.m. doc appointment and he said not to worry.

We had our meal then returned to the dealership.

The good news: my car is in great overall shape. It needed an alignment and some fluids flushed and replaced. I also requested that they restore my headlight covers.

The bad news: my car is 10 years old next month and it's time for my hybrid battery to be replaced.

I wasn't surprised because it was just a matter of time. I'm just thankful I'm able to do it.

My date and I also went to the park. We sat in his car and talked because sadly, the air here isn't safe to breath right now. There are several large fires burning in the mountains a few hours away. The smoke is so bad that it's been blowing down our way for about a week now.

What's scary is that even when we haven't been able to smell it or see the haze, experts said that ultra fine particulates are still being sucked into our lungs and could potentially cause respiratory issues at some future date.

Any way, back to the date.

His doc appointment was either cancelled for Wednesday or non-existent because it never happened.

We ended up back at the dealership where I signed off on the repairs and picked up a loaner car. My date and I sat in the loaner in the parking lot for about 20 minutes, saying goodbye. He asked if I would see him again and I said yes.

When I left, I headed to my grandma's for a very brief visit. We watched the news for 10 or 15 minutes. When grandma began praising the governor for enacting that ridiculous revenue-sucking HB2, I began packing up to head home.

My date and I have talked and texted lots since our date but there's been no mention of date number two.

Que sera, sera baby!

I'm still single and not holding my breath waiting.

Not that I'm expecting to do too much more dating. It's already starting to get cold and dark around 4 or 5 p.m. I do not like winter clothes or shoes so as the days grow shorter and colder, I'm much more likely to be home curled up on my sofa with a good book or my crochet hooks and yarn.

Gotta run folks!

Lots to do this weekend starting right now.

Peace and blessings to you all.

708.2

Hello everyone.

My Monday turned out to be busier than I expected and happily so.

After taking Baby Bliss to work, I drove to our local healthy foods store to find it had been remodeled since my last visit. I was floored. The appeal to the staff was understandable but my sense of aesthetics was offended.

In addition to my general feeling of disconnect, I couldn't easily locate the organic apples I wanted to buy. Later I realized it wasn't a super urgent purchase because I don't have any yogurt or almond butter to eat with my apples.

Probably won't have either until Thursday earliest which means I should wait until next week to buy the apples. I already have a fridge half full of leftovers and I'm expecting a friend in town this weekend so it's not likely I'll be eating at home much from Friday until Sunday.

So yeah, I'm being allowed time to adjust.

Yeah...

When I returned home, I stopped in the parking lot to talk to a neighbor's mom and ended up spending a few hours with the woman. She is such a cool person to hang with. We talked and laughed, she shared crafting and DIY tips with me, and she really helped me by taking a huge load of yarn and fabric off my hands.

Our fun time ended because I thought I needed to get the daughter from work. Turned out to be a false alarm so I ran off to do a little personal shopping.

Yep, it was a good day and I'm thankful.

Amen!

On other fronts, I think it's time to do away with the suspense regarding the outcome of my most recent date.

Right?

Right!

So, back in his hotel room we ate and talked and laughed until I figured it was late enough for him to be ready to get ready for bed.

He walked me to my car, we hugged good night, and he kissed me on the forehead. (Awwww...) Then a little smooch on the lips. (*chuckle*)

I called him 10 minutes later to tell him I'd arrived home safely. We briefly discussed how much we'd enjoyed the day together and the possibility of breakfast together the next morning. He left it up in the air, saying he might be leaving early so I told him to call me to say goodbye before he left and I planned to sleep in on Sunday.

Around nine Sunday morning I got a call from Mr. Skittish, inviting me to breakfast. Although I was awake, I wasn't quite up and about, having planned the night before to sleep in.

I let him know I'd love to have breakfast with him but it would be almost an hour before I would be properly primped.

He agreed to wait.  (Of course he did.)

I met him at the hotel and he followed me to a local spot. There was more of a crowd than I expected but we were seated immediately.

Breakfast went well. Good food, good company, good conversation.

We held hands as we walked back to the parking lot. At my car, we hugged and kissed goodbye, he opened my door (every gentleman does), and we went our separate ways.

He called me after he'd been on the road for 30 minutes or so. We rehashed the weekend, laughed...

A few days later he asked when he would see me again. I told him I didn't know but we could try to work it into his schedule since he is a lot busier than I am.

Long story short, we couldn't make it happen.

Folks, this was not a match made in heaven or on earth.

Our schedules don't mesh and we live too far apart for it to not matter. Also, while he's a genuinely nice man who says he wants to be in a romantic relationship, he is definitely skittish about making a commitment. There are other detractions as well but those two are most important.

No worries people.

Y'all know how I roll.

Mr. Skittish and I are still friendly. We talk and text every day, some days more often than others. I understand that he's not what I want or need in the romance department but he's become a good friend and I wish him all the best as he moves forward.

As for me, I'm still single and I have a date tomorrow.

I have to run so more on that later... 

708.

Good morning y'all.*

I'm "in my feelings" this morning, as the young folk would say.

Lots to do today so I won't let that deter me.

In case anyone is interested, I did have a second date with the gentleman who drove two hours to meet me Halloween weekend.

The festival was scheduled to end at 8 p.m. so he had made reservations to stay over at a local hotel. We enjoyed our outing until we decided we'd had enough then headed back this way, maybe around six. We went to his room to relax for a bit then made a food run. We ate and talked in his room for a couple of hours.

He's a hardworking man and his body is used to waking up in the wee hours for work so he was tired before 10 p.m.

Which was cool because I was tired too. Spending the whole day with a stranger, whether the day is fun and exciting or boring and tense, comes with its own kind of exhaustion.

Although my date and I had a whole month of getting-to-know-you tucked under our belts, it was all done by e-mail, texts, and phone calls.

Of course we had exchanged many photos in that month as well.

Regardless, face-to-face chemistry is always an unknown factor. One, because you don't know if your in-person energies will vibe well. Two, because you don't know what kind of energy it will be, romantic or platonic.

I've learned (and am still learning) to take nothing for granted. Losing Mr. Bliss was the hardest example of that lesson. I continue to move forward with all that I learned from him as well as the events leading up to and the aftermath of his death.

Four years later, I know that everything is temporary. What I can never know is the finite duration of any particular situation which is what drives me batty. I like to know. Despite me understanding that "this too shall pass" (whatever "this" may be), the not knowing still causes anxiety that manifests in ways I don't like.

And having said that, I realize my need to return to a useful meditative practice.





* Yes this was written this morning, long before 12 noon. Mea culpa for not hitting "publish" in time.