547.2

Side note:

This is actually a continuation of post number 547, which threatened to get too long so I decided to break it up.

Maybe this should be 547.2 instead of 548...

Okay, I'm changing the title.

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My last post ended on a bit of a low note.

Here's something a bit more upbeat: silly ole me has a crush.

For the most part, it feels weird in a good way.

He definitely knows I'm interested because of something I said and did. (Nothing negative and I hope he was able to intuit my intent.)

And honestly, while it would be cool to have his attention in a romantic way, I know that what I currently need is a friend. A real friend. A local friend.

Not speaking from conceit or self-centeredness, but with the nature of (many) men being what it is, I can find a man any day of the week who would want to be "romantically" involved with me.

But romance is not occupying much space in my brain right now.

Yes, I do have a few online dating profiles and I've been getting lots of e-mails from guys on the sites.     But God knows where my head is and the ones who have stuck are the guys interested in genuine friendships.

Maybe it helps that they all live out of town. One even lives in another country.

Our conversations (via e-mails, texting, and phone calls) range from discussing our daily lives to sharing our dreams and goals. We each share at our own comfort level.

With gratitude, I thank God for my love of meeting people. Everyone has a story to tell and I listen because I truly enjoy hearing people's histories. Even if half the stories aren't true, any tale told well enough will hold my attention.

Listening to and enjoying people's stories is my way of connecting to other people, to the world, to myself, to God.

The similarities in our lives, the differences... It's all good and it all fascinates me.

It's what facilitates friendships and opens doors to good relationships of all kinds.

Friendship transcends romance, but (thankfully) doesn't preclude it. So if anyone of my friendships naturally evolved into something more, it wouldn't surprise me.

But I'm not one for long-distance relationships. Which leads back to my crush...

I know the reasons why I'm crushing on him, which I won't reveal here. Nor will I say too much about him because he's a man in a public position and I would never shine a spotlight on him without his express permission.

What I will say is that he's kind, he's compassionate, he's handsome, he's intelligent, he's diligent, he's heroic.

I imagine him to be a good parent, chivalrous, harmonious, level-headed... Much more but I'm falling asleep.  LOL

He lives somewhere near and I come into contact with him periodically because of his job. As much as I can imagine he and I sharing delicious meals on hot summer nights while engaging in exquisitely engrossing verbal exchanges punctuated with lots of laughter, after our conversation the other day, he won't hear from me unless it's business-related or I'm responding to him reaching out to me.

Until one of those scenarios comes to pass, we shall remain as we are and he shall always have my best wishes.

As well as a tiny piece of my heart.

Amen.



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45: kids...

originally posted Wed., Oct. 25, 2006; 1:20 p.m. EDT

just this morning, my tween daughter said something that reminded me that she really is just a kid. this munchkin--who has been on the planet just about 1/4 of the time i've been here--is a know-it-all and can usually tell me why and how in several verbose sentences filled with 3- and 4-syllable words.

we go toe-to-toe daily--on topics like why one should (or should not) take care to brush bedtime lint from one's hair before presenting oneself in public, why sleeveless dresses and flip flops are/are not appropriate clothing for 40-degree temperatures, and the ever-popular why one should/should not brush one's teeth for more than 20 seconds per session.

she has a tendency to present her arguments with the shrewdness of Marvin Belli so when i heard something so... elementary-schoolish come from her lips this morning, i was shocked back into the real world.

(she's getting ready so we can go out as soon as i'm done with this. and even as i'm typing, i hear her toothbrush whir for 10 seconds. "that's not long enough", i shout. ok... she added another 10 seconds. next it's, "did you brush your hair?" no. she goes back into the bedroom and comes out with a headband on, in 3.5 seconds.)

any way, back to the topic at hand.

she was about to put on one of her favorite movies, "13 going on 30" when i heard her say, "mommy, you know most people don't understand this movie. they just don't get how a girl can go from 13 to 30 (finger snap) just like that."

i had a deja vu moment, feeling as if we'd gone back to the days when my word was gospel to my daughter's ears.

then i had a sudden flash back to an incident that happened last night...

my daughter and i were in wally world, picking out the appropriate congratulatory greeting cards for friends and family members. my daughter came across one that she thought was perfect for me. i watched her laugh hysterically as she read and re-read the card, peeking at me several times to make sure she had my attention.

she (laughing uncontrollably): mommy! this card is perfect for you. oh my God!
me: what? lemme see.

she: here mommy. (still giggling like a hyena)

she handed me the card and i checked out the illustration first. i love interesting illustrations and i took in every detail--mostly to see if there were any subliminal messages--before i read the actual text. this one was nicely done but nothing spectacular.

the cartoon depicted two women, seated on opposite sides of a small round kitchen table. a round birthday cake with a slice missing was in the middle of the table. the missing slice lay on a dessert plate beside the cake dish. the women were half-smiling and each had a steaming mug in front of her.
i checked out the front caption: Only the good die young.

then opened it and read the inside: Bitches like us live forever. Happy Birthday.

my mouth dropped to the floor and that lil crumb snatcher laughed so hard she almost peed her pants.

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