612.

The Christmas holiday has been exceptionally eventful this year.

Thanks Santa baby.

Amen.

611.

Someone gave Baby Bliss a plot of land at some castle in Scotland.

She has instructed the masses to refer to her by her honorary title of "Lady".

She is now accepting applications for knights if anyone is so inclined.

That is all.

610.

I am exhausted.

Time for bed.

609.

Sometimes someone does something that lets you know they've been paying attention and they really get you.

Yesterday I received a Christmas gift that showed me that very thing.

Normally such a gesture would make me cry. This time I was shocked beyond tears, which is a rarity. Maybe a first.

I'm thankful for the blessing and the giver.

Amen.

608.

My daughter sent this to me.

And now I crack up every time I hear Adele's "Hello".

607.

Laissez les bons temps rouler...

Amen.

606.

I'm really looking forward to the day after Christmas...

605.

What a fantastic weekend I've had.

Lots of driving, visiting with friends old and new, and food. I even had time to squeeze in a few dates.

Laughing, noshing, dancing, crying, kissing...

I loved every minute of it all.

The reward for being such a busy bee is needing a good ole Epsom salt-baking soda soak.

As soon as I eat my last bit of leftovers, I'm diving in to zone out until the water chills.

Sayonara y'all.

604.

Oh happy day y'all!

The volume of my life has gotten incrementally louder in the past few days.

The possibilities for "new and/or different" that have come into focus recently are... interesting.

Nothing that needs deciding right now but eventually I'll need to make a few choices.

I'm thankful for the opportunities.

* * *

Moving right along, my modified carb plan has resulted in a better fit for one of my favorite skirts.


Here is the "before" photo (taken in late April 2015):

Here is the "after" photo, taken this morning (about 15 pounds lighter):

It will be a challenge to keep it off and lose more with cold weather creeping in but I'm up for it. Thank goodness for exercise DVDs and YouTube.

Here's to fighting the good fight!

Amen.

603.

Exhausted.

Been awake for at least 22 hours straight.

Time for a serious snooze.

There's a date scheduled for 2 p.m. but I might not make it.

Oh well...

Hitting the pillows in five.

I shall sleep well.

More later.

Amen.

602.

A day out with the girls on Veteran's Day morphed into an all-day affair.

We had lunch, shopped, walked, shared girl talk and giggles, and ended with beverages on the boardwalk in the big city down the road.

We had a fantastic time.

Tomorrow I'll be joining one of the ladies for another evening of sisterhood. She's a recent addition to our group and already feels like family.

On Sunday several of us are meeting for jazz brunch at a new N'awlins restaurant down in the big city.

I might be exhausted come Monday but God knows I wouldn't want to do without my sista-friends. I'm so thankful to have these ladies in my life.

Amen.

601.

Second date went well for the most part.

We caught a movie, a good one. Better than I thought it would be.

He's such a gentleman. We held hands during the movie and kissed after the credits rolled.

It was an almost-chaste kiss that had the potential for more but the lights came on, the staff came in to clean, and we were forced to abandon the maneuver.

After the movie we headed off for another stroll at another nearby mall.

The date ended with conversation about seeing each other one evening this week, to talk (his words).

Hmmm... Okay...

On another note, this Daylight Savings Time sure has me in a tizzy.

Can y'all say "exhausted"?

600.

How does one recover from a really good first date?

By putting up ones feet and vegging out in front of the telly for a few hours.

And for those who want details:

- He is tall, dark, and handsome. Much better looking in person than his photos.

- His smile is beautiful. Fantastic teeth.  (A great smile always makes me swoon...)

- He gave me flowers and a card before we hugged hello. (The graphic on the card referenced a conversation we had earlier this week about favorite childhood movies. Nice touch.)

- We took a sightseeing cruise, had dinner and a subsequent hour of conversation at a nearby restaurant, then took a stroll at a local shopping area.

- We held hands as he walked me to my car. We hugged and exchanged a few sweet awkward kisses as we said goodnight.

- We have a second date planned for Sunday.

I'm exhausted.

Time for bed.

599.

Today is a Date Day.

No, the date will not take place on foreign shores. It will, however, take place off-shore.

There was some discussion of postponing the date until tomorrow because of today's weather forecast: 100% chance of rain.

It was pouring rain when I woke up several hours ago. Surfaces are still wet but the rain has stopped. So date on for today.

In the multitude of conversations we've shared in the past week, I know he's a stickler about being on time. That means I need to concentrate on being early.

It's close to 10:30 a.m. We're scheduled to meet at 1 p.m.

As soon as I'm done drinking my morning lemon water, getting dressed to run an errand, complete said errand and return home, I can prep for my date.

It's only about a 20 minute drive to where we'll meet but I do need to make a quick stop along the way.

Looks like I'm working with less than two hours here...

Which means I need to get my butt in gear. Right. Now.

Here's to a day of shared fun and laughter.

Ciao folks!

598.

In the past few days, several friends have spoken of loved ones dying.

Two of the people who died were young women.

One was in her early 20s and had just had a baby last year.

I know death is one part of life we must all endure.

Still, I'm saddened each time I hear the stories; primarily because the people who tell them are sad about their feelings of loss.

I'm thankful in advance for the healing we all need and shall receive.

Amen.

597.

God,

You sure are funny.

No passport required but the next (first) date involves a water vessel. Bigger than a fishing boat but smaller than a cruise ship.

Although you know I love the water (beautiful beaches specifically), you also know I'm not fond of boats of any size.

Yes, I agreed to the fishing date. But only because I'd never been fishing and I was curious. Now I can say, "Been there, done that" and cross it off the list it was never on.

I'm not gonna go into the details about me and boats. It's likely that I've already done so at some point during the years I've blogged here.

I'll just end this by saying, "Thank goodness I can swim".

Amen.

596.

A link to a great article about reversing Type 2 diabetes by changing your habits: How to Reverse Diabetes Naturally - Wellness Mama


This information is the same as what I was told by the nutritionist my doctor sent me to back in April.

Please share. It could save a life.

Your life, if you so choose. Because if any life is worth saving, isn't it your own?

595.

ISO: the protocol for a first-date invitation that requires a passport.

594.

Good morning God.

It's raining out so maybe we're in similar moods today? I'm in a curl-up-on-the-sofa-with-a-good-book-and-tea kinda mood. How bout you?

Um, while I have your ear, let's chat for a bit.

The past couple of weeks have been fun, interesting.

Lots of fun dates, good food, good conversation, good kisses. An unusual number of kisses in the rain. Got my third one the other night.

So far, no one has managed to impress me in the ways that are important to me. Which is... okay, I guess. After all, dating is a social activity at its core and I am a social butterfly.

But it's been a few years since I re-entered the dating world. I've seen lots of masks. Some glued on so tight that they might never be removed.

I've also seen some fall so fast that my my mouth hung open at the speed of the revelations.

It's all good because it's all God.

However, I'm now ready for something different God.

I'm ready for the man who has worked out the kinks, comes just as he is, and remains steadfast. He'll know that I am already who he wants and needs in his life and shall remain so.

And when the time arises, we shall individually and jointly evolve into that which moves our shared endeavor toward its highest good.

I give thanks in advance for that which shall manifest because I believe.

Amen.

593.

Believe and it shall manifest.

Amen.

592.

On the other side of the fence, there is this:

Nothing kills good ole pre-date euphoria like an extended date that gives you the gift of seeing your date drop his mask and realizing you're just not that interested in him.

But ya gotta love good ole (Mother) Nature. She doth abhor a vacuum, as do I.

Another potential suitor has invited me out for an all-day date on Sunday and I have accepted.

No grass growing under my feet because ya sure can't meet him sitting on the sofa.

Amen?

Amen.

591.

We've had family in town for the past few days: my great aunt and her daughter, my cousin.

I picked up my auntie Thursday afternoon and took her to my grandma's for their first ever sisters' sleepover. A bunch of family members went to dinner that night. My daughter and I had other plans and couldn't attend.

Friday afternoon my daughter and I picked up my cousin, had lunch with her, then took her to my grandma's where her mom was hanging out.

My other cousin and aunt came over too. I enjoyed the visit immensely.

The older I get, the more I want to know our extended family. (So many kin folk we don't know!) However, it's a difficult endeavor because of the circumstances of my grandmother's birth and rearing.

Heck, when I was growing up, we didn't know that my grandma had a sister. She also had three brothers (that we know of) via my maternal great-grandmother. Only one of them is still alive. We met him many years ago at the funeral of one of the other brothers.

I also learned several years ago that my maternal great-grandfather had another daughter and son. Ironically, I met their mom (my step-great-grandmother) one day as I was taking a walk with my daughter who was maybe two at the time.

We were strolling the neighborhood we lived in, possibly walking to my grandma's who lived a few miles away (but maybe not because I recall the street we were on and my grandma's house was in the other direction).

Any way, we came across a woman in the front yard of a house. The woman bore a strong resemblance to my grandmother. She came to the gate to greet us and we began to talk. I told her she looked like my grandmother and she told me my daughter looked like one of her grandchildren.

This part is vague but I believe she told me her name and I told her ours. We talked for a bit then my daughter and I continued our walk.

Later I told a family member (probably my mother) and got one of the biggest surprises of my life when I learned who the woman was. Her two children, my great-aunt and great-uncle, were my grandmother's younger siblings.

Apparently my mother and her siblings knew them but my cousins and I had never met them or even heard tell of them. At the time I learned the story, I also learned that difference of religious beliefs was what led my family to cut themselves off from them.

I was floored and a bit angry.

My daughter and I walked that street again, hoping to see my newly-found relative but to no avail. I couldn't remember which house and I didn't feel comfortable knocking on the doors of possible strangers.

A few years later I just happened to be browsing the obituary section of the Washington Post and I came across my step-great-grandmother's obituary. I shared it with my family and I was saddened that I'd never gotten to see her again. There was so much I'd wanted to ask her.

*sigh*

So now I take every opportunity to reach out to people I suspect are relatives, even if I don't know how we're related.

Digression complete.

So, today's agenda calls for more family members in the area to visit auntie and cousin at my other auntie's house. My daughter and I won't be there but it's okay. We had yesterday.

There were a lot of smiles, a lot of laughter, a lot of love.

And we took lots of photos.

I'm so thankful for being able to make those memories.

Amen.

590.

A second date last night.

More kisses; no rain.

He wants me to go fishing with him later today.

I'll be the one crocheting and taking pictures while he baits his hook.

Yah...

589.

Yes, I know I'm supposed to get back to details on my most recent trip north but I've been busy.

Specifically, I've been dating.

More to the point, I've had three (3) "first dates" since I returned home.

The first one lasted several hours and involved three locations. No cigar but we both agreed it was a good date and wished each other luck in our continued quest(s).

The second date was... interesting. He drove an hour and a half to take me to dinner. Nice dinner and conversation until we hit a snag: he was a homophobe.

Game over.

The third date was interesting in a different way. There was lots of laughter, good conversation, a good meal. He and I had a lot in common.

Another kiss in the rain too. A really good kiss in the rain, one that caught me totally off guard.

We have tentative plans to see each other again before the weekend. The plans are "tentative" because if it rains Wednesday and/or Thursday, I will be staying warm and dry right here.

We're seeing each other "before the weekend" because the plans I have for the weekend existed before he and I met.

My Friday plans will happen rain or shine. Saturday's plans require dry skies for the remainder of the week, including Saturday.

Fingers crossed!

A special "thank you" to the universe for keeping my schedule just busy enough.

I'm looking forward to the rest of my week.

Amen.


p.s. Yes, I am aware that I used a lot of quotation marks in this post. Keep calm and put away your red pens.

588.

The past week has been a whirlwind of exertion.

So much has happened in such a short time. So much more to come.

Thursday I headed to my hometown for a long-ish weekend. Plans for parties and cavorting with friends and family were on the schedule.

On the way up north, I stopped at my dad's for a visit. While there, I received notice that a senior family member up north had died and the funeral would be on Monday.

Saddening and surprising but not shocking because she had been ill.

Since I was already headed that way, I only needed to adjust my schedule slightly to include the Monday morning funeral. It meant my return would be hours later than I'd planned but no big deal.

What it meant even more was that I'd likely get to see many family members I hadn't seen since the family reunions of 2008 and 2010.

I dreaded the circumstances but looked forward to the hugs and love.

At my dad's, he and my stepmom fed me: baked chicken, rice, green beans, rolls, mixed fruit for dessert. Sleep-deprivation has become a staple in my life so I was already tired when I got there. No way could I get back on the road after lunch. My intention of staying two hours stretched into a five-hour visit.

No complaints because I don't see my daddy often enough and my stepmom really needed my company during the visit.

Getting back into traffic (rush hour traffic!) set my teeth and nerves on edge. Horrible traffic for two hours traveling through Virginia, DC, and into Maryland.

I arrived at my Airbnb accommodations late and exhausted.

A few minor missteps getting in (similar street names in close proximity that befuddled the GPS, small numbers on a lockbox, a stuck lock) but all worked out well in the end and I was settled less than an hour later.

My hostesses were a newlywed couple. Wonderful people as was their roommate. Plus a few felines. I enjoyed hanging out with the occupants of the house as much as I enjoyed all the activities I had planned for the weekend.

Oh phooey!

I've run out of time to complete this post. And it really should be broken down into manageable bites.

Back later for more...

Amen.

587.

Indeed.

586.

I've probably been on the phone at least 10 hours out of the last 24.

My stomach muscles are hurting from all the shared laughter.

Thanks God.

Amen.

585.

Nothing like a five-hour phone call to remind me that I'm no longer 17.

But for five hours, it sure felt like I was.

Now it's either coffee or pillows.

Amen.

584.

I got kissed in the rain. *blush*

583.

What is for me is already mine.

Thank you God for the gift. I graciously accept.

Amen.

582.

Lots of Pisces energy flowing my way for the past several months...

581.

After several days of hibernation (mostly) due to the weather, today I ventured out to run errands and take my daughter to work.

We stopped at one of our new favorite eateries for a late lunch before I dropped her off.

As we were ordering our food, a guy came to the register beside us. I saw him hand the owner (who was taking our order) what I thought was money to pay his bill.

Then the guy disappeared without his change, which I thought was unusual but I thought maybe he would get it before he left the place.

The owner thanked the guy then waited about half a minute and told us that the guy had just paid for our meal.

Astonished, I turned to look behind us just in time to see the guy walking out the door. My mouth fell open in shock. As I said "thank you" he waved but never looked back. I hope he heard me.

These are the kinds of stories I read about on the internet and hear on the news daily. The things that happen to other people. I was so overwhelmed that I cried.

I don't know what he looked like. Definitely not who he was.

But I do know that God put us there with him, at the same place and time. Maybe I'll never know why but what I took from it is a reminder.

Good people are like angels, all around us, appearing at unexpected moments when we're busy doing every day stuff.

So who ever you are, thank you sir. I wish you many blessings as you continue to bless those around you.

Amen. 

580.

Thankfully, the light at the end of the tunnel has appeared. Almost time to move the box of tissue from my bedside to its former home atop my bureau.

Almost.

Nothing pressing on my calendar so I'm being patient.

On a more pleasant note, one of the "side effects" of this involuntary detox has been weight loss. At least five (5) pounds but probably closer to 10.

My clothes are loose(r) and a few pieces I could barely squeeze into glide on with ease.

The proverbial silver lining.

 Thanks God. I'll take it.

Amen.

579.

Inclement weather brings interesting suppositions.

What ever did we do for fun before the inter webs were a thing?  *chuckle*

578.

One of my favorite quotes from one of my favorite movies (Jumanji):

Judy Shepherd: There is a lesson you will learn/Sometimes you must go back a turn.

Totally appropriate for Mercury moving retrograde.

And yes God, I am listening.

Amen.

577.

On another note, the two who were on life support and not expected to pull through have both made amazing recoveries.

Renewal.

Amen.

576.

I guess it's the cleanse/detox/purification that made me think of this song this morning.

Definitely appropriate in the metaphysical sense (but thankfully not quite the literal) as my current conversation with God winds down.

Amen.

575.

My daughter is evolving to be an amazing young adult.

I'm always impressed by her deductive reasoning and analytical skills, even if I don't always agree with her conclusions.

What strikes me most about her is her gumption. When she wants to do something, she does it, no excuses.

There are many things she taught herself to do, when I was struggling to grasp those things at the same chronological age.

Currently, I'm most proud of her and happy for her regarding her career goals. When I was her age, I had no clue what my true passion was.

My daughter is a makeup artist. She's been interested in make-up since she was a tiny thing. Maybe it's my influence because I would sometimes put lipstick on her for photos. She was a scrumptiously beautifully plump baby and I thought she looked extra pretty wearing lipstick.

When she got old enough to do it herself, she did it up. The makeup, the hair, the clothes. (There's a particular day I'm thinking of and there just happens to be a photo of her after she nodded off in all her finery. But I won't post it out of respect for her.)

The older she got, the more she got into makeup. She started out with mine, progressed to buying her own at the dollar store (which wasn't good enough because I used M.A.C. and most dollar store stuff just isn't M.A.C. level good), moved up to brands she could find at Walmart and Target.

After watching lots of YouTube videos (most featuring Michelle Phan) she finally moved to "better" brands at stand-alone beauty stores and department store brands. (Kat Von Dee, Estee Lauder, etc.)

Last year, she and a friend began doing makeup for plays at local theaters.

This past weekend she and her friend were requested to do makeup for an upcoming event that will feature well-known celebrity musicians. People I consider real musicians.

I've exposed her to a wide variety of music from many genres (as my momma did with me); Baby Bliss considers these people real musicians as well so she's excited.

I know her attitude as well as her aptitude are what led to her latest invitation. With faith I know she will receive untold numbers of invitations that will lead her to meet people and go places that will enhance her life and allow her to do the same for those she meets.

With gratitude, we thank you God for all blessings.

Amen.

574.

To expound on yesterday's post:

There is an immense amount of energy shifting in the external atmosphere. Mercury is "moving" retrograde, the supermoon eclipse is imminent, and I'm sure there is more because there always is.

It's not a coincidence that I am experiencing personal energy shifts as well.

For the past several days, I have been presenting with viral symptoms (sore throat, coughing, headache, expelling copious amounts of yucky stuff).

Cleansing of body...

In addition, my dreams have been vivid and full of symbolic reminders as well as fore-telling. Reminders that I must leave behind "people, places, and things" that throw off my equilibrium.

Cleansing of mind...

It's given me time to meditate as well as lots to meditate on.

Cleansing of spirit...

God is also reminding me that regardless of the "setbacks" it's still up to me, to make the choices that I know will enhance my being.

And as I move toward the light of purification and renewal, in gratitude, I say "thank you God".

Amen.

573.

Mercury retrograde.

Cleansing.

Purification.

Renewal.

Amen.

572.

This morning Mr. Bliss came to me in my dream.

His presence facilitated a phenomenal multi-faceted message I am still interpreting.

Thank you Beloved for your assistance.

Thank you God for the message.

Amen.

571.

Today I saw this in my travels on the web. Similar messages have been appearing along my path for the past few weeks, in various incarnations.

It's a reminder...

So many souls are damaged by the careless actions of others, intentionally as well as accidentally.

So many live their lives appearing outwardly "normal" but inwardly clawing at the secrets that destroy them in tiny increments.

Those secrets also touch the lives of those who are drawn into the orbit of those damaged souls.

Hence the truth that lies within the statement above.

Even if we know from the outset that we've encountered a damaged soul and we make the choice to love them any way, it is when we choose to love them that we sometimes become privy to the depths of their pain.

If the other is seeking help in a genuine effort to learn healthy ways to express and eradicate the pain, it may work out well.

If so, congratulations to all.

But if that's not the case, there needs to be a plan of action for disengagement and self-protection. Because regardless of who, what, when, where, or how, it's good to know in advance how to proceed in such encounters.

This is where self-love and self-esteem become great assets. If these attributes don't already exist within oneself, the road to freedom could be tortuous; perhaps even dangerous.

And what are we to learn from this?

Not about "them" but about us, that will assist as we dance along the road to Nirvana?

Something(s) to think about as we sail myriad seas of interpersonal interaction...

Amen.

570.

Impending death...

Two notifications of people on life support.

My prayers for the dying as well as those who exist without living.

Amen.

569.

Nothing is as beautiful as the spirit of a man who stands perched at the edge of falling in love with the woman who set his soul ablaze.

Amen.

568.

No rest for the weary, they say.

It happens to be true for me presently.

I haven't slept since I awakened Monday morning.

But I'll be resolving the situation very soon:

Now I lay me down to sleep.

I pray the Lord my soul to keep.

If I should die before I wake,

I pray the Lord my soul to take.

Amen.

567.

God, you sure have a way of getting my attention.

I remain thankful for the message even if I'm not too fond of the messenger(s).

Amen.

If Praying Mantis has crawled into your space;

Usually the Praying Mantis makes an appearance when we’ve flooded our lives with so much business, activity, or chaos that we can no longer hear the still small voice within us. Taking a step back and some simple meditation would be in order here because the external din we’ve created needs to be quieted so that we can come back to our own truth. The Praying Mantis always comes to us when we need peace, quiet and calm in our lives.

Spirit-Animals

566.

Once again, I have been reminded that the best way for me to proceed when dealing with someone who has broken my trust is to remember to not take it personally.

As a healer, I hold the awareness that people can only express from their level of attainment regardless of whether that level is emotional, psychological, spiritual, etc.

And I truly believe our Creator lives as each human being, no matter how often humans present with less-than-stellar behaviors.

But I also know I must not allow the aforementioned belief to cause me to lose focus of the dangers of being drawn in by those whose psyches overflow with pain.

Because those people are needy. They are energy vampires who need other people's energy to feed on.

And they'll drain you.

Those who are hurting will attach themselves to anyone who shows them the smallest glimmer of what they lack: love and light.

In my instance, I just happened to be in the right place at the right time. Or the wrong time, depending on how one chooses to look at it.

So no, I don't feel special or singled out. *chuckle*

(Any port in a storm, yes?)

However, I am relieved that truth has come to the forefront.

Godspeed as all move toward closure and healing

And so it is.

565.

There's a lot to be said for heartache but today is not the day to do so.

God, I'm exhausted. My head is bowed. You know what I need. I trust you to deliver.

Amen.

564.

God, you continue to amaze me with our synergy.

I remain in awe of the plot twists you weave into my life.

Thank you for my Labor Day weekend.

It was beautiful in its revelations.

However I have since learned something that has since tinged the weekend with a bittersweetness that saddens me.

I won't ask why God. (Our will be done as we co-create the experiences of our lives.)

Time and again, I learn that I must protect my heart.

Because if I don't, who will?

With faith, I remain open to "one day".

Until then, I endure.

Amen.

563.

Busy bees make lots of honey.

Amen.

562.

Truth will out.

My faith remains resolute.

Amen.

561.

There are many versions of this song. This one is my favorite:

Indeed...

560.

Nothing like a good morning to get you in the mood for some good Chaka:

558.

I'm not sure if I dream more than most folk but I dream a lot. Usually several dreams per sleep session and probably every night. I say "probably" because I can't recall a time when I've slept without dreaming.

There are times when I awake and can't recall what I dreamed about but I know I did dream. If I can't recall at least the last dream I had before waking, my day feels like it's starting off wrong.

I feel like I've missed a vital communiqué from God and that just won't do.

So I began researching methods for better dream recall. One of the suggestions was to take extra time to lie in bed after waking, to recall as much dream as possible.

It helps.

Another suggestion is to journal the dream (which I've been doing for decades) in the present tense (new to me), as if the action is taking place as I write.

That helps as well but it only works if you can recall the dream(s) in the first place.

Which brings me to today's last dream before waking, whose sparse details only came back to me when I saw a news article on the web this morning. (Not an uncommon occurrence, as "dream reminders" tend to pop up randomly during my day. If I'm paying attention, I notice.)

What I remember of this morning's dream:

My daughter and I were out at night, walking. She pointed out an alligator (or was it a croc?) coming toward us from our right. She walked too close to it and I panicked, warning her loudly not to do so.

In the next few moments, she disappeared around a corner and I ran to search for her. I didn't her but a guy came to tell me she'd been bitten on the ankle by a gator (or a croc).

Bitten on the ankle but still in one piece... I wondered aloud why she hadn't kicked its teeth in.

***

Although we see critters in our current neighborhood that just didn't live amongst civilized folk where I grew up, I've never seen anything resembling a gator or a croc.

Thank you God for keeping those critters away from here because if one makes it this far inland, it's time to move.

On another note, my daughter and I were out shopping yesterday. As usual, I was scanning radio stations in search of something she and I could stand to listen to. As we pulled into a parking space, I tuned into one of my favorite songs, about half over but it didn't matter.

No way could we leave the car until I heard the whole thing. Although we are a musical family (we sing, play, eat, sleep, live music) and this was one of my favorite songs, it hadn't gotten a lot of airplay around here in the past three years because it was a sad reminder of things past.

Yesterday I was able to listen and sing with nostalgia but not a tear fell. It might not always be that way but it's a measure of progress for me, big crybaby that I am.

My daughter sang along with me and surprised me at the end by telling me the group that performed the song.

Without further ado, you too can listen and sing along here, if Spirit moves you:

It's such a beautifully simple song, lyrics and instrumentation meshing perfectly to transport me into a realm beyond my physical body.

Thank you God for the reminder and the realization.

Amen.

557.

Dear God,

Thank you for such a beautiful day. Good food, good company, good conversation...

Wonderful.

On another note, I finally got around to getting some much-needed screws. Time to get to work!

Amen.

556.

I should be asleep but I'm listening to the rain. It's one of my favorite sounds.

I'm also breathing in it's freshness and wondering whether it's cold or warm.

It's tempting to find out. But not tonight. The spiders are probably lounging about the porch eaves.

One day I'll dance in the rain.

Preferably in Italy.

555.

Dear God,

You are the funniest comedian I know.

Your message, whether obvious or obscure, is always right on time.

Saying "thank you" is not enough but You know the depths of the emotion and gratitude behind those words.

With never-ending appreciation, I say...

Amen.

554.

It's turned into an Eric Claption kinda day around here.

(Currently playing: I Can't Stand It. Next up: Knocking on Heaven's Door.)

Our living room, flooded with sunshine and good conversation.

My daughter, talking about her latest dream. Me, discussing my jitters over something that normally wouldn't get an eyelash bat from me.

Our shared awe at not knowing (or for me, remembering) that Eric Clapton is British.

And now that it's sunny out, I want to get out of here. My daughter invited me to lunch with her and a friend but I don't want to be the third wheel.

It's possible I'll sit on the porch to read and crochet.

There are errands I could run but I'm not a Saturday-errand-running kinda gal. I prefer to run my errands when the masses are happily ensconced in their cubicles. Or beds.

Which means it's likely I'll make a run to the hardware store around 7 or so. Maybe dinner out after.

And maybe I can sweet-talk my daughter to go to the tennis court with me. I learned today that it's open until 10:30 p.m. in summer.

Well, we'll see...

553.

This morning's soundtrack:

The Very Best of the Stylistics

(Currently playing: You Are Everything.)

***

My party-all-night lifestyle finally caught up to me.*

Read on for the details...

This week has been busy in its own way. Nothing truly urgent on my to-do list but there was the matter of a project waiting to be completed and returned to a client.

I received it a week after the promised date and there was no note of urgency accompanying it so I took my time completing it. Yesterday afternoon, satisfied with the finalized version, I returned the project to its rightful owner.

Hurray for me!

My thoughts: Yay! I'm free to roam the country! Or at least the county.

Ha!

Soon after, my body told me I was late for lunch. I felt lightheaded and dizzy, like I might actually pass out.

Scary.

I whipped up a quick (and very small) tray of nachos. Healthy nachos.

Healthy-er nachos:

1. 14 chips, slightly toasted
2. crumbled goat cheese
3. 2 TBS of organic black beans
4. lots of organic green leaf lettuce

Delicious.

After I ate, I went out to the porch to greet my Sol Sista up close and personally, swept the porch, took out the trash, watered my plants. I danced a little, hoping to throw off the sleepy-mist of lethargy that had descended upon me. 

My daughter emerged from her cave and asked me to read the first chapter of the new book she's working on. Lots of typos but what an entertaining read! I'm excited for her and ecstatic that she's become so enthusiastic about her writing again. 

Maybe it will rub off on me and I can get back to my own writing...  Oh, but dang it, that will be difficult because silly me didn't immediately transfer all my data from the external hard drive when I got the new machine.

There is a remedy for it but it's a risky one. But life is all about stepping out on faith, right? Yeah... 

But let's not go too far down the side road here.

After I read the chapter, my daughter and I discussed the rest of the story (plot, characters, etc.).

I found myself nodding.

Quelle horreur!

It was only 7 p.m. No way should I be sleepy.

But yes, I was. Too many late nights and early mornings. Bad combination as well as a bad habit that needs breaking.

It's not like I need to be up past midnight. Especially since I can't seem to sleep past 7:30 or 8 a.m.

I fought it as long as I could (another 20 minutes or so) then I finally gave in. As someone I once knew liked to say, "Nature will not be cheated".

Amen brother. 

I laid it down and slept until this morning. 

Lots of dreams but I only remember the one I had right before waking. 

Which I won't detail in this post because I'm needed elsewhere in the building.

Wishing everyone a beautiful day of love and sunshine.

Be blessed, be a blessing...  💓

552.

I take everyone at face value.

But I'm a realist so when that red flag pops up, I say give 'em just enough rope.

If it's all good, it works itself out.

And as much as I think I've seen and done in life, it amazes me that I'm still amazed at how swiftly some self-destruct.

My prayers for those who have yet to feel the freedom that comes with taking off the mask.

Amen.

551.

What I learned today:


Bullsh*t is as clear as glass, if we pay attention and proceed with patience.

Thank you God for the gift of discernment.

Amen.

550.

Crush over.

*chuckle*

549.

This week has been busy already.

More driving than usual.

I'm hoping to stay out of the car for the remainder of the week.

Which brings me to him.

Yes, it's the "him" you think it is. And you knew we'd go there again, eventually.

I thought I saw him twice on the road: once in the next town/county over, where I do my shopping. The next day I thought I saw him riding down my street, close enough to see me as I was exiting my car.

I'm not 100% sure however so we won't dwell on those possible sightings.

What I am 100% sure of is that I saw him yesterday (Wednesday) evening. He saw me too. He even held the door for me. We exchanged pleasantries as I entered the building.

For approximately the next hour, we were within a few feet of each other.

*swoon*

It was business and there were about 20 other people in the room so I tried not to look at him too often.

*chuckle*

He looked good.

Did I mention that he dresses well?

He does.

Just the right amount of starch in his shirts, trousers that fit just so...

Nicely pulled together.

I didn't linger long after the meeting ended. There was no reason to except junk food (which I'm turning up my nose at these days).

And, well, him. But as I said, it was business and we weren't the only two there.

We had already seen each other and said hello. I didn't expect to hang about exchanging chit chat with him. It wasn't the time or place.

Any way, I texted him an hour later, just to say it was good to see him. It turned into an unexpected (brief) exchange.

What a nice way to end a long day.

Time for pillows!


.

548.

In a previous post, I mentioned that my life has been complicated in the past few months.

One of the complications was learning that my body has been in a pre-diabetes state for at least the last three months and probably the last 7-10 years.

Horror of horrors people because my father is diabetic. He gives himself insulin shots twice a day.

I am so serious when I say I am making strides toward moving my body to a substantially lower A1c. (For those unaware of the definition of "A1c", go here: A1c Test and Diabetes.)

Genetics is just one risk factor for diabetes and the only one that cannot be altered. The other risk factors are not set in stone and are relatively within my control.

To bypass the documentary version of this tale, a horrible headache (and vomiting) after hitting my head here in the house led me to seek medical attention.

In a panic, I recalled information I was given regarding a clinic in my community that provides medical care for affordable fees. I called the clinic and was given advice about my headache and an appointment for new-patient intake.

I am more than thankful for being led to the clinic. The phenomenal medical professionals and other staff members were instrumental in saving my health and possibly my life.

Unchecked diabetes is the seventh (7th) leading cause of death in the U.S. In addition to killing folk, it can have horrendous complications. Blindness, nerve damage, and lower-limb amputation are just a few.

Ugly.

After I got the diagnosis, I was set up with a nutritionist. I had one-on-one as well as group sessions with her. What I learned in those sessions blew my mind. Words like "insulin receptors", "insulin resistance", and "metabolic syndrome" are part of my new vocabulary. But I don't use these words often, as I don't want to be bogged down by the technical details.

More important to me is action.

The nutritionist covered a lot of information in those sessions. What she stressed in our one-on-one sessions was movement and diet modification.

My goal is 30 minutes of exercise per day and 30 grams of carbohydrates per meal. I am also to have three meals per day, with 4-5 hours between meals and no snacks.

I wasn't aware of how daunting this task would be until I began to plan meals.

I do NOT like to cook, one of the reasons I have been a big snacker. Not that all my snacking consisted of unhealthy foods. I love, love, love almonds, air-popped popcorn, oatmeal, and fruit.

But I have learned that most of the foods I love and was eating regularly are high carb foods. I still eat many of them, but in moderate amounts.

Thank God for Fatsecret.com, the website I found after much searching for help. Fatsecret helps one track weight, food intake, and exercise habits. There are also forums, places to share recipes, people to friend.

The best component for me is the food tracker. It has a huge database of information that can be used to determine carb amounts for a huge range of foods, from raw fruits and vegetables to meals at restaurants across the country.

I use the food tracker to plan my daily meals. It also allows me to save any meal or portion of it as a favorite so I can just pull the meal up any time I don't want to think too hard about what to eat.

I was surprised at how good I became at planning and cooking meals that were quick, tasty, and within my 30 gram limit.

The best part was that I initially saw improvements in my sleeping pattern as well as a small weight loss. Both were instrumental in keeping me centered for a while.

Eventually the inevitable happened: I got tired of the constant planning required to feed me three times per day.

First, sticking with the 4-5 hours required between meals requires me to eat my first meal almost as soon as I wake up. It's kinda hard because I'm usually not hungry when I wake and I have a tendency to get busy within an hour of waking. If I don't make myself eat in that first hour, before I know it, it's noon.

That first faux pas can throw off the rest of my day.

Second, the above habits require me to set an alarm for my lunch and dinner. It has to be set for at least 30 minutes in advance of mealtime to allow me to begin meal prep in time enough to stay with my "4-5 hours between meals" schedule.

I have to do this twice a day, every single day.

Third, one of the reasons I don't like to cook is that I'm forgetful. Anything that cooks without me having to stand over it will be forgotten if I don't set an alarm to check it at the appropriate time(s). (This resulted in a few burned items over several meals in the first few weeks. A few tear-y breakdowns too.)

Fourth, I feel like I'm tethered to my laptop in order to ensure access to Fatsecret. It feels like I can't eat correctly without being able to use the website to enter and retrieve data.

This is a problem because some days I run so many errands that I'm in the street almost all day. If I'm able to go out soon after breakfast, it may not be a big deal, depending. In an "emergency situation", I can have a delicious and filling meal (Chick-Fil-A's Grilled Market Salad, without fries and I take my own water) and stay within my allowed 30 grams of carbs.

But if I'm out at lunch time more than once a week, I'm literally eating into my food budget. Not good.

Fifth, I began eating more protein (after being told that I should always eat carbs and protein together), in the form of more meat and dairy, two food groups I had been eating very little of for the past several years.

Adding more meat and dairy to my diet caused a yucky disruption in my system. I won't detail the results here but let's just say the way my body reacted wasn't cute.

It got to be frustrating and a bit depressing.

I tried to compensate by substituting some meals with healthy smoothies (very much modified from their previous incarnations which contained massive amounts of carb-laden bananas, apples, and strawberries).

Which would have been fine except I began to miss some things I'd gotten used to eating.

I felt overwhelmed and decided I needed time to regroup, do more research, create effective strategies for eating away from home.

For added inspiration, I'm planning to write affirmations, print them on beautiful paper, and hang them using simple Dollar Tree frames.

I'm still working out the kinks but I'm optimistic. I have to be because this is my life.

Death is not the issue here. We're all heading for the grave (or crematorium) with every breath.

My goal is to move forward whole and healthy in spirit, mind, and body.

Amen.


.

547.2

Side note:

This is actually a continuation of post number 547, which threatened to get too long so I decided to break it up.

Maybe this should be 547.2 instead of 548...

Okay, I'm changing the title.

***


My last post ended on a bit of a low note.

Here's something a bit more upbeat: silly ole me has a crush.

For the most part, it feels weird in a good way.

He definitely knows I'm interested because of something I said and did. (Nothing negative and I hope he was able to intuit my intent.)

And honestly, while it would be cool to have his attention in a romantic way, I know that what I currently need is a friend. A real friend. A local friend.

Not speaking from conceit or self-centeredness, but with the nature of (many) men being what it is, I can find a man any day of the week who would want to be "romantically" involved with me.

But romance is not occupying much space in my brain right now.

Yes, I do have a few online dating profiles and I've been getting lots of e-mails from guys on the sites.     But God knows where my head is and the ones who have stuck are the guys interested in genuine friendships.

Maybe it helps that they all live out of town. One even lives in another country.

Our conversations (via e-mails, texting, and phone calls) range from discussing our daily lives to sharing our dreams and goals. We each share at our own comfort level.

With gratitude, I thank God for my love of meeting people. Everyone has a story to tell and I listen because I truly enjoy hearing people's histories. Even if half the stories aren't true, any tale told well enough will hold my attention.

Listening to and enjoying people's stories is my way of connecting to other people, to the world, to myself, to God.

The similarities in our lives, the differences... It's all good and it all fascinates me.

It's what facilitates friendships and opens doors to good relationships of all kinds.

Friendship transcends romance, but (thankfully) doesn't preclude it. So if anyone of my friendships naturally evolved into something more, it wouldn't surprise me.

But I'm not one for long-distance relationships. Which leads back to my crush...

I know the reasons why I'm crushing on him, which I won't reveal here. Nor will I say too much about him because he's a man in a public position and I would never shine a spotlight on him without his express permission.

What I will say is that he's kind, he's compassionate, he's handsome, he's intelligent, he's diligent, he's heroic.

I imagine him to be a good parent, chivalrous, harmonious, level-headed... Much more but I'm falling asleep.  LOL

He lives somewhere near and I come into contact with him periodically because of his job. As much as I can imagine he and I sharing delicious meals on hot summer nights while engaging in exquisitely engrossing verbal exchanges punctuated with lots of laughter, after our conversation the other day, he won't hear from me unless it's business-related or I'm responding to him reaching out to me.

Until one of those scenarios comes to pass, we shall remain as we are and he shall always have my best wishes.

As well as a tiny piece of my heart.

Amen.



.

547.

I have had many experiences in my life. A long list of adjectives can be used in describing all I've done, seen, and heard. Can I say how thankful I am that the word "boring" is not one that would make the list?

So much has been going on in my life in the past few months. I just wasn't up to blogging about it all.  But that will change with the next few posts.

Moving forward...

In today's news, I spent a nice holiday with my grandma, two aunts, and a cousin. We started at a park near my home then caravanned to a park a bit further south. We talked, ate, laughed, crocheted, met interesting people, took photos, enjoyed the boaters and jet skiers on the lake...

Baby Bliss didn't go. She stayed home to catch up on sleep. Poor girl missed an interesting day out.

What I'm thankful for: even though I thought about Mr. Bliss and how much more fun I would have had if he had been there with us, I wasn't sad about it. I will always miss my beloved and on holidays even more so because he loved celebrations. But I am so thankful that I was able to make it through the day without feeling like an emotional breakdown was imminent.

To change the subject, about an hour ago, I began having problems with my phone. Again.

*sigh*

I'm on my third handset for this particular brand and model of phone. If I lose this one, I'll once again need to enter all my phone numbers, etc.

My daughter has been telling me to get a smart phone for years. I probably should but I'll be kicking and screaming all the way if I do. It would increase my monthly phone bill by $20, just to be able to save my contacts in the cloud or somesuch.

It just doesn't make a lot of sense to me right now.

Well, we'll see...


.

546.

On another note, a man I dated for a very short period in the past has re-surfaced.

It started with an e-mail in December last year, that I somehow didn't see at the time.

What I did see were the e-mails he began sending this week. He began with, "Hey. How are you?" and progressed to what I suspected he was leading up to.

Long story short, we talked for a few hours on the phone. During the conversation, he managed to amaze and amuse me by attempting to coerce me into picking up where we left off.

More, he talked as if it's already a done deal. (Maybe it is in his mind...)

He shared a lot with me during our lengthy exchange. I listened because everyone needs an ear or a shoulder at some point in life. Only God knows how many times people have been there for me so I'm happy to pay it forward when I can.

While it was good to hear that he and his children are doing well and I was flattered that he thought of  me so fondly (and according to him, so often), I harbor no "what if" feelings about that situation.

My life has moved far beyond the brief time he and I shared. During said time, he and I were friendly but not friends. We parted on a so-so note for reasons that don't need detailing. Parting was inevitable and I don't recall missing him after we split.

As there is no slot for his name on my dance card, the most I can do for him is wish him the best as he moves forward.


Amen.


.

545.

This morning, I had a horrible dream. Brought on no doubt by a tragic event close to home as well as the events surrounding the murders of the nine Bible study attendees in Charleston.

In the dream, I was a nanny for a family with a little girl. (Let's call her Mary.) We were returning to their home from vacation. We all exited the vehicle in the driveway; Mary's parents (let's call them Bob and Sally) proceeded to unload the car. From the corner of my eye, I spotted Sally's ex-husband inside the house.

My assumption was that Bob and Sally saw him too but most of my attention was distracted by Mary so I didn't ask. Mary was running towards a neighbor's yard, enticed by a colorful ball left lying in the grass.

I chased her, yelling, "No Mary! (I wish I could remember what her name actually was in the dream...) Come back, come back!"

Mary kept running, finally falling down in the grass next to the ball. I took her hand and led her back to her house, explaining that it was the neighbor's ball, not hers, and we had to leave it.

As I walked toward the house I began feeling apprehensive, knowing it was dangerous to go in with Sally's ex inside. I don't remember saying it aloud.

But my apprehension kept me in the driveway, watching tensely. I saw Sally's ex approach Bob and Sally. The three of them appeared to be talking amicably. Suddenly, the ex pulled a out gun. I saw two younger guys appear with ropes.

I turned and ran up the street, looking for a hiding place as well as people who might have cell phones. As I ran, I realized I'd left my purse in the vehicle. It had my i.d. in it, which had my address on it; I felt sick, knowing if the bad guys didn't catch me at that time, they could find me later.

Bob and Sally's neighborhood was fairly well-to-do. Beautifully-landscaped public areas fronted well-manicured front lawns that led to stately brick homes.

Frantically, I bypassed most of those lovely homes, seeking people who were already outside.

Believing that the men from the house would pursue me as soon as they finished with the family, I anxiously sought shelter. I passed a few homes where guys were out working. As I tore past them, I yelled out, "Please call 911! There are three men with guns down the street!"

When I reached the community pool, I thought its outbuilding looked like a safe hiding place. It was concrete and had a steel door with a lock. But I had a difficult time getting in. By the time the attendant came to unlock the gate and I explained the situation to him, the armed men were coming and they had seen me.

I panicked and ran into the outer area, on the far side of the pool, still outside. I frantically sought a back exit as the armed men came into the pool area too.

Sally was with them, as a hostage. Her wrists were bound in front of her and she was being pulled along by her restraint.

It was then that I noticed that the two young men accompanying the ex-husband were his sons from a marriage he'd had previous to marrying Sally.

I saw that the young men were armed with shot guns. I began to run, praying that I wouldn't be shot in the back. Way back in a corner, there was part of the fence covered in growing vines. I ran toward it, not knowing why. When I reached it, I could see that it was really a gaping hole in the fence, draped with vines.

I scuttled through, thinking I was safe, not realizing there was another fence enclosing that one. Thinking I would surely be shot this time, I began to climb the outer fence, praying for another miracle.

I made it over and down to the ground, wondering why I hadn't been killed. As I turned to look back, I could see the men leading Sally back toward the street.

Eventually I doubled back toward Bob and Sally's house. The police had arrived and everything was blocked off. The gunmen had taken Sally back into the house and were in a stand off with the police.

For some reason, I was sent into the house to spy. I snuck in and overheard the ex-husband telling his sons to load their guns with the bullets that would penetrate bulletproof vests. (The ex-husband called the bullets a name I can't remember but when he said it in my dream, I knew exactly what he meant.)

I ran back out to the police crying, repeating what the man had said. One officer reassured me that everything would be okay and not to worry. I was incredulous, thinking the three men inside would  massacre the officers and then come for me.

It was too much for me even in a dream. My anxiety escalated to "terror" and I woke up with my heart racing.

I wanted to turn my light on in my bedroom but the dream had frightened me to the point of irrationality. I felt that turning my light on could attract the attention of some bad armed person who just happened to be walking near, just as I was turning my light on.

I was afraid to go back to sleep for fear of slipping back into the same dream (something that had happened to me once before; an awful occurrence!) so I got up and sat on the floor and prayed for a while.

Eventually I exited my room, being careful not to turn on any lights. I sat in my dark living room with my laptop, listening to soothing music, waiting for daylight. It arrived slowly, with overcast skies and not a ray of sunshine.

I took my morning walk an hour earlier than usual. It helped some but I know I'll need a lot more prayer, meditation, and perhaps a few sessions with the grief counselor who helped me deal with Mr. Bliss's death these past three years.

Despite this momentary return to the realm of F.E.A.R., I maintain a sense of gratitude for my life.

My child is healthy, I have a roof over my head, food to eat, a car to drive, I'm debt-free... I have much to be thankful for.

Amen.


.

544.

I love this. I absolutely would dance!

Would you?


Funky Friday



(Thanks Katie Price!)


.

543.

Life is change. This I know and accept.

Birth, death, sadness, joy, blue skies, pouring rain... 

We experience it all in our days on the planet.

Seems death is taking a leisurely stroll through my life lately.

In addition to the death of a friend's husband, we have had four family deaths since January. Two were seniors in their 80s, two were my age; all had spouses, children, family. The seniors had grandchildren and great-grandchildren.

None were "expected" to die, in the sense of what we generally mean when we say such things. (And I know human beings like to avoid the topic but aren't we all expected to die eventually?)

My friend's husband's funeral was too far away. She wasn't looking for us to attend and we did not.

We did attend the two local funerals but not the two in my hometown. As much as I wanted to, I could not attend those funerals.

In addition, unless it's for one of my parents, I won't go north again for a winter funeral. Last time we did it, a snowstorm shut the city down the night before we were to leave. 

In the beautifully blinding sunlight that greeted us the next morning, I labored for several hours to free my car from on-street parking. Although I had borrowed boots, gloves, a coat, and a shovel, I was chilled to the bone by the time I finished. 

A few hours into our trip south, I began to feel sick. I was ill for a month after our return.

Since Mr. Bliss' death, I have experienced varying amounts of sadness at hearing of the deaths of others. It's intensified if someone loses a spouse because I've been there. I am there. I know the depths one can sink to in navigating the dark waters of widowhood.

It can be a hellish existence for an unspecified amount of time; an ever-moving spiral: up today, down next week.

There are now at least five more widowed people in the world.

Which brings me to the gist of this post.

For a short while, I was seeing a man who struck my fancy. We had an average of maybe three dates a week in the months we dated.

We were in mutual "like" and got along well but for a number of reasons, it didn't morph into a long-term relationship.

As we spent more time together, I experienced a range of emotions that ran the gamut: amusement, vulnerability, optimism, and even fear. 

The fear is what surprised me most. I didn't succumb to it but I acknowledged its existence.

I don't like the word "fear" because it has a negative connotation and vibration. 

But it served as a realization that I hadn't been caring much lately about how many moments I have left. Not that I'd given up. I think I was just tired. 

Although my daughter still lives at home, my active parenting days are winding down. She has her own very active life and sometimes I do too. But there is a lot I used to do that I don't do any more, because life is change.

That Mr. Bliss awaits me in the Land Beyond Death (a.k.a. Heaven, Valhalla, and so on), had become a comforting thought whenever I wanted to zone out due to overwhelming responsibilities, etc. There was a time when I longed to join him on my downward-spiral days and often wondered why there was no calendar to tell me how long I have left in this life.

It became a place I knew I could return to, a cocoon of sorts. A place to drift... 

But I've snapped out of it and I thank God for sending the guy my way, as a reminder that I need to be more mindful of this place, my earthly home and the things I still have on my to-do list here.

Amen.

(Originally written Jan 29, 2015; revised may 12, 2015; published today.)