827.

Hello everyone. 👋🏾

It's a chilly but relaxing evening in my cozy spot on the sofa. Hopefully you all are somewhere safe and you have everything you need.

Today was a really good day for me. I have so much to be thankful for as it winds down:

1. I talked to both my parents today. 
2. I was able to help my dad with an ongoing issue that had been worrying him .
3. Baby Bliss and her fiancé treated me to lunch today. We had a great time.
4. I treated myself to a movie today. (Proud Mary) It wasn't what I expected but I enjoyed it.
5. The forecast calls for snow to start in about 7 hours. I went to Aldi and Walmart before heading home. If I get snowed in, I'll have food to eat.
6. My car has an almost-full tank of gas.
7. I have a safe and warm place to live.

I am aware that there are people in the world who currently lack necessities. Some of them may be people I know.

My prayer is that if anyone who crosses my path needs help, I can assist or find an appropriate resource. I also pray that I am mindful of and grateful for my every blessing. 

Amen.

826.

Happy Friday everyone!

I hope you are all safe, sound, and happy as the weekend slides your way.

Despite the gloom of today's weather, I've been in a good mood.

I talked to daddy several times today; he sounded tired but he was in good spirits. I also made the pasta salad for the party. It's chilling in the fridge until departure time when it will make the hour-long drive with me to Party Central.

I'm also taking drinks and napkins. There can never be too many napkins at a party.

It will be great if someone brings fried chicken or a really good dessert. Cheesecake, fruit tarts... If someone brings Napoleons, I'll be in heaven. (And probably Weight Watchers by Monday afternoon because I'll eat them all.)

Aha! I remember what I came to tell y'all: I started a gratitude jar.

Every night before bed, I write down a few things I'm thankful for on a half sheet of paper. Then I fold the paper and put it in the jar.  💕 ✍🏾 📃

It's just a mason jar but it's light blue. I found it at Goodwill I think. It's been here for a while so the memory is vague.

I believe it's one of the tools helping me stay focused on what's important.

Another is my background music.

There is a YouTube channel called Meditative Mind. The videos are healing music, set to different frequencies depending on what needs healing (mind, body, spirit, etc.)

Of course it's a debated topic, whether or not sound healing of this kind works. I say if it works for you then work it.

It is working for me and I'm thankful.

The music plays low so that it's a constant undercurrent as I go about my daily to-do list.

Right now I'm listening to this one: Om Mani Padme Hum.

It's soothing.

On that note, I'll bid you all a fond good night.

Sweet dreams... 💋

825.

How-do folks?

It's early Thursday morning in my spot on the globe. Lately I've been up until the WEE wee hours, nodding off around 4 a.m. and sometimes 5 a.m. (Is that news to anyone? Probably not.)

I'm usually up by 10 or 10:30 a.m., which gives me five to six hours of sleep per 24-hour cycle. I find myself getting sleepy around 5 or 6 p.m. but I fight it because taking naps is a habit I try to avoid. Occasionally -- rarely -- I give in.

Later today might be one of those days but I can't say for sure as I'm currently tired but not truly sleepy.

Wednesday was a busy day spent with one of my neighbors.

We started with me taking her to a doctor's appointment. (Lucky me, I scored a free blood glucose meter in the pharmacy. 👍 I've been wanting one for a while, so I can test periodically. Go here 548. for why.)

Our next stop was Target, to return an item I bought earlier this week and do a bit of shopping.

My neighbor and I got separated in the store and after I walked the aisles for maybe a half hour searching for her, I purchased my sweet potatoes then went over to sit in the cafe to wait for her.

After I'd sat there longer than I was comfortable with, I went to customer service to have her paged. Another five minutes and I see her making her way to the closest self-checkout.

(Where I was happily chatting with M, a fella who works one of the registers in customer service and who I see occasionally at the store. It's hard to say how old he is -- my guess is late 50s to mid 60s. M  has the manners of a courtly gentleman. He's always polite and gives me nice compliments but never crosses the line into "flirty". He is the only person I consistently recognize at the store and I'm there several times a month. No wondering why, right?)

By the time we left Target it was after three and I was getting hangry. 😠🍐🍗🍚🍤🍹 My neighbor said she'd treat me to lunch (for taking her to her appointment) and I needed that food.

Originally we were gonna have lunch at a new place we found the last time we hung out. But it was rush hour and I didn't want to fight the horrible traffic that would be waiting when we finished eating.

Finally we decided on a restaurant halfway between where we'd left and where we were headed.

Lunch was relaxed, leisurely. We shared good conversation and laughter. It's so nice to be able to take one's time when eating a meal with friends, family.

With lunch under our belts, we made a bee line for the nearest dollar store where I grossly overspent. I literally went in for two or three items and came out with several bags. 👀

News flash:

I'm going to a party Saturday! Guests were asked to bring food, drinks, or give a small donation upon arrival. I bought fixings for tuna salad then realized shortly after I got home that tuna is probably not a good snack for a party.

Certainly I don't want anyone breathing fish breath in my face, a thought that eluded me while I was filling my shopping cart (known in these parts as a "buggy").

My neighbor will need to make a drugstore run later today to get her prescription and though there is rain in the forecast (I don't like driving in the rain), I told her I'd give her a ride. It won't do to have her walking in the rain even if it's only a drizzle.

I'll make a grocery store run while I'm out with her because I've decided to make a simple pasta salad for the party. I need a few ingredients absent from my cupboards: black olives, cucumbers, and tomatoes.

My preferred pasta salad has no tomatoes which and does taste better if there is tuna in the mix but (for reasons mentioned above) there will be no tuna in this salad. The tomatoes go in to benefit the others which is okay with me. I'll be sure not to put any on my plate. Hopefully the black olives will be a good substitute for the missing tuna.

It's likely I'll buy juice too because I don't drink alcohol and although there might be lots of non-alcoholic beverages on hand, it's not nice to count on others to have my favorite drink(s) lolling about.

Small price to pay for the hosts agreeing to host. All the preparation that goes into making one's home hospitable then in addition to the fun guests you get uninvited guests, messy guests, guests who don't know when to leave, guests who get pissy drunk... 👿

We hosted many events at our home up north. Baby Bliss's birthday parties, a birthday party for my grandma, folks over for dinner or just to hang out... Some events were family, some were friends,  some were both.

No matter how much fun was had, the best thing for my nerves was having the party elsewhere.  😌

Seems like it's been ages since I've been to a house party and I'm looking forward to this one. It's possible I'll spend the night because the shindig is an hour from me. An hour's drive isn't awful but by the time the event ends, I might be exhausted. 😩

As I am now.

Time for snoring.

Je m'en vais y'all! 💋

824.

I should be sleeping but my brain is spinning and grinding.

Here are my musings:

After much thought, I realized that I'm not as dismissive with the exes as I previously thought. Though the percentage still remains low in terms of who I still keep in touch with, it came to me that not all of them got the boot.

Mr. Skittish and I are still friends and he's been a constant listening ear in the past month as well as a good resource for information when I was first dealing with my dad's situation at the beginning of December.

There is also another guy who I had a couple of dates with that I'm still friendly with. We're linked on social media and we also exchange jokes and such in e-mail from time to time.

So that adds two to the very small number of guys who remain in the "Cool Dudes" column.

Of those two, I can't say either would get me anywhere near an altar but that would depend on what the terms were.

Honestly, at my age, a man has to bring considerably more to the table than his declaration of love everlasting. No gold digging in my past or future because if I can't like a man enough to love him, nothing else he offers will suffice. However, anyone who comes with his pockets turned out would be a liability.

There needs to be balance.

Hmmm... The longer I think about the exes, the more names flit through my head.

Right now I'm thinking about Chuck and how we can add him to that short column. (More about Chuck here: 691.)

He and I are still friendly. We no longer text every day and we never talk. We text periodically, keeping each other in the loop with family issues and any other stuff we think the other wants to know.

If I had my druthers (as my momma used to say), the returning ex would be Chuck and he would be here to stay. It would require working out a whole lotta logistics but I'm confident he's the man for the job. He's an engineer! 😉

Seriously, he is now my current Fantasy Guy. Hopefully, one of the good things in store for me in 2018 includes seeing Chuck again.

Now that I've shared, it's time for sleep. I am tired as all get out.

More later y'all. 💋

823.

On a more serious note folks, I'm happy to say I've been talking to my daddy every day since he's been ensconced in his new digs.

We usually talk three times daily but sometimes it's only once or twice because now that he's feeling better, he's making the rounds to mingle and mix with the other residents.

If I can't catch him between lunch and dinner, I know I can catch him after dinner, before he goes to sleep.

Sometimes he sounds really tired but he sounded strong and upbeat in our most recent conversation. He said he was watching football and eating a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

It made me happy to hear him that way, like his pre-stroke self.

My gratitude overflows.

Amen.

822.

O' happy Sunday everyone!

I hope you all brought in the new year safely and in good spirits.

I was home alone, a bit maudlin but tis the season and all.

Cooking has never been my forte but I did quite a bit of it this past week. A pot of bean soup (cannellini beans, carrots, kale, chicken, cumin, Himalayan salt) and a pan of cornbread that fed me for several days. 

For my New Year's Eve dinner, I ate barbecue ribs, kale, and a slab of the cornbread. I also made a cake and topped it with a simple homemade icing.

Martha Stewart won't be asking me to pop by but it was all tasty enough for me. 😋

Now let's get to today's business, shall we?

This is the "What's New for 2018?" edition.  🎊 🎊 🎊

It has come to my attention that I will need to take a few steps back in order to move forward. Also that I'll have to give up something or someone from my past.

Well alrighty then.

Although I am a firm believer in omens and portends like rainbows and falling stars (both of which I saw during my drive home from visiting daddy), I don't believe in signs in what I think of as a willy-nilly fashion. 

In other words, I need to see what I think of as Real Proof. 

Does that sound crazy, expecting the tangible from things that seem to have no basis in fact?

Maybe, but as I've heard a time or two (and I like to quote it when it's appropriate): I'm from Missouri.  (For those of you who don't know what that means, go here: Missouri.)

As for this back-and-forth-to-the-future forecast, it has seemed to be a theme in the past week.

Not only has it been the theme of more than a few tv shows/movies I've seen in the past week, I also did a few of those silly Facebook quizzes that promised to tell me what my 2018 would look like based on my responses to the questions.

I actually did a few of them on New Year's Eve. I find the options and outcomes fun and funny enough to distract me when I need it so I made them part of my festive evening. 

One of those outcomes predicted romance in the new year with someone from my past. 😐

Now y'all know how I feel about the exes.  😐 (An "ex" being anyone I've ever talked to on one of the dating sites, had at least one date with, or been married to.)

I don't think it's an exaggeration to say I've been on hundreds of dates and talked to hundreds more online. 

From that humongous group, there exists a minuscule percentage who can expect a response to a phone call or text. One of those is an ex-husband. At this moment, I can't think of anyone else who belongs on that list of one. 😄

(Ooops, wait! There is another guy. We never dated but there was once a very subtle flirtation. By "once" I mean it was an isolated incident that went absolutely nowhere and many many years later, we're still friends.)

While I'm not gonna attempt to bribe my crystal ball for a name, I do wonder who this someone might be.

A screenshot of the predictive pronouncement:

So will this person from my past be He-Who-I-Must-Disgard? Or will it be someone (or something) else?

Along those lines, there is a friend who I've been feeling ambivalent about for over a year. She has a few habits that are lately wearing my patience thinner by the day. Sadly, it's gotten to the point of me not wanting to respond to her calls or texts.

It dawned on me that she's one of the few people I currently think of as a close friend, which is kind of suck-y because she is no longer the type of person I want to be friends with.

*sigh*

Probably it is her that needs to be let go because it would certainly create space in my life for a sunnier disposition to come along.

The decision isn't a difficult one but I've been dragging my feet about it because of the length of our friendship. Really, the hesitation lies in how to sever the ties.

With other people I've felt okay with what some might call ghosting, which for me it comes down to not wanting the drama of trying to explain to people how they have crossed the line with me (for the last time).

(Because I know humans make mistakes so I'll give a few chances but truly, if they understood my boundaries they wouldn't have continued to cross the line. Unless they understood and just didn't care. Either way, I've learned there's no need to waste my energy with an explanation.)

A few examples:

After Mr. Bliss and I were married, I had one friend who kept calling me in the wee hours. Granted I've always been a night owl, which my friends know. However, I told homegirl it wasn't cool to continue the late-night calls because my husband had to get up early for work every day. But she thought it was okay and kept at it.  *snip, snip, snip*

Another friend decided about a year after Mr. Bliss died that it was okay to ask me how much money I got when he died. Très gauche honey! There is only one friend I discuss my finances with and that chick was not the one. In almost two decades of friendship she and I had never discussed money. At least not my money. She talked freely about hers and why she never had any. When she inquired about my "inheritance" (as she called it), I was inclined to think that at some point in the future she would be angling for a loan. That and the fact that I thought she was incredibly rude for asking me the question: *snip, snip, snip*

My friends are important to me and are usually considered family. Some of them I do miss talking with but having boundaries is a good practice and for me, letting people cross them indiscriminately is the same as having none.

Moving on...

Today's Lotus Tarot, titled "Tough Decisions, featured the Hanged Man. It's is a continuation of the "Back to the Future" plot that began with the quizzes. Looks like I'm gonna need more lavender essential oil, lots of pens and paper, and lots of Epsom salt.

See screenshot below:

(The screenshot is the last part of the Lotus Tarot e-mail, which in its entirety was too long and I believe the last bit is most pertinent for this post.)

There is also a wedding in the forecast featuring me as the blushing bride. 💕💍💏 😜 (Definitely not marrying the guy in the graphic!)

There will also be money! (Shhhh! Y'all aren't supposed to see this because I do not discuss money with friends so don't tell anyone. 😄)

Finally, there should be travel! Specifically, to Argentina. (If anyone cares to join me, please drop me a line. 😀)

It looks like my 2018 will be super busy and exciting folks. My passport is ready but I might need new shoes! 💃