871.2

To continue yesterday's post:

I've always had at least one person I've considered a best friend. But lately, I've been my own best friend. 💃🏾💃🏽

There have been groups of folks that I've socialized with on a regular basis. Co-workers, friends of friends, other parents in the home schooling community, people I've been in crafting groups with...

But I've never had what I consider a group of folks that I could call (or expect a call from) on a Friday or Saturday night regarding a causal evening of chilling at so-and-so's place or grabbing dinner.

There was a time when I had something almost like that, with a group of (mostly) women I worked with decades ago. We hung out a lot. Friday night happy hours after work were probably most common. We also vacationed together, went to parties together, celebrated milestones together, and commiserated over our losses.

Some of us had families, significant others and/or children. Some of us had other pursuits and responsibilities.

We had good times together in the years we all worked together. I'm still friendly with some of them and one of them has become family over the years.

Although in the past I've been very social (and I still enjoy a lively get-together), I am currently content with relaxing right here on my sofa with a good book.

Probably because of all the road I tore up in the past year, visiting daddy. Between going to see daddy and hanging with the Athlete, I believe I was gone more than I was home.

But I have a secret to (sort of) share: there is a vacation I'm looking forward to. Two actually. When they will be, I don't know. Stay tuned because there will be more on this topic. 

One day... 😜💕 

And now folks, although it's not quite 8 p.m., I'm bidding y'all a fond farewell.

Daddy was tired earlier and went to lay down in his room. I need to wake him for dinner and his evening meds and put him back to bed.

Soon after I shall be winding down as well.

Sweet dreams y'all. 💋💋💋

871.

Happy Friday folks! 🎊🎊🎊

I hope everyone is healthy and happy. 😀

We getting along here.

Daddy is tired, Baby Bliss is tired, I'm tired. A trifecta of fatigue. 😣

Daddy had two doctor's appointments this week so he's probably close to exhausted. On the days he has appointments, we're usually out and about for several hours because it makes more sense to me to stay out while we're already out than to drag him in and out of here more than necessary.

Especially this time of year.

It's cold here and daddy should not be breathing in cold air because of his COPD. Also the weather could become wet or snowy or icy at any time so if we have a day of "good" weather and we're already out, I run with it.

Usually after daddy's appointment(s), we'll eat. Most often it's lunch but once he had an early lab appointment so we did breakfast after.

Before we head home, I'll run to Wal-Mart or Aldi or Lidl. Occasionally I'll have to pick up his prescriptions on the way home as well. So some appointment days are busy.

The day after so much gadding about finds daddy sleeping most of the day.

🌸🌸🌸

7:47 p.m.

Baby Bliss has just flown the coop with one of her best friends, a young man I consider a son. They've been friends for many years, starting as home school buddies and morphing into iGen/Gen Z fashionistas living their fabulous lives on the lake.

They've moved into their separate lives but they still manage to hang out, together and with their larger group of friends.

I love it for her and for them all, learning to navigate the world with each other as sounding boards and shoulders to cry on.

870.

Howdy folks!

I've missed y'all! How is life? I hope everyone is safe and happy. 🙏🏽

There's so much to say and very little time as I am tired, tired, tired. 😩

Best of the current news: Baby Bliss is snoring within earshot. She's visiting for a while, to: help me with daddy, hang out with friends, take a break from her daily routine.

Confession: I was watching James Corden and had to change the channel. Sometimes his guests make me nervous. Here's why: some folks are such divas that I just know they're gonna hog his ear. If it's someone I'm fond of, I don't want to see her/him act like that. As well, I don't want to see them get trod upon.

So when I'm watching and I get that weird vibe, I have to turn. Janelle Monae and Giselle were on the couch tonight. I wanted to watch but I dared not.

In other news, Mercury retrograde wasn't so awful this time. There was some retrospection to be had, for sure. But in my personal realm, the number of ex-suitor-related activity was relatively quiet. I was surprised but thankful.

And the exes who showed up surprised me. I can't go into detail because I'm running out of time. The Sandman is at the door and I think he's picking a lock.

🌸🌸🌸

Daddy has had several visits with his doctors since my last post. Sadly, I can see that he's slowing down more and more. He sleeps a lot. Sometimes he's really talkative but that's getting to be less often. He seems to be deep in thought when he's awake.

The Athlete paid daddy and I a visit one Sunday. (They'd met previously, when I traveled north with the Athlete for his church event that occured Memorial Day weekend.)

I put on a pretty frock, did a little something to my hair, powdered my face a bit, and held court in the living room.

He was here a few hours, watching a football game with daddy and making goo goo eyes at me. I fed  him a bowl of the soup I'd made that week.

It was a nice visit.

We talk occasionally. Once a week. Or once a month. It varies.

🌸🌸🌸

My friend and I have shared many conversations since my last post. Nothing earth-shattering but there have been a few eye-opening words spoken between the two of us. I'm just glad the communication is flowing nicely in both directions.

We had snow earlier this week and my friend called to check on daddy and I. It felt good to know that he cared enough to call. 😊

I can't express how thankful I am that this relationship still exists despite the obstacles that he and I have encountered in the decades we've known each other.

🌸🌸🌸

There is much more but I need to get some sleep. Daddy has an appointment in about nine hours and I need us to be on schedule.

Please stay healthy and happy until we meet again folks.

Ciao! 

869.

Good morning and Happy Tuesday y'all. 🙋🏾‍♀️

I hope everyone is somewhere safe and feeling good.

The day dawned sunny and cool in our neighborhood.

I awoke with a start, hearing a strange beeping noise that I thought was the transmitter for daddy's defibrillator. 🙍🏽‍♀️

Never mind that I know  the transmitter is not a monitor. The beeping scared me. In the six years I've lived here, I've never heard that noise before and it seemed to be coming from daddy's room.

I jumped up and ran in. He was already up. When I asked him about the noise, he said he didn't hear it.

Okay... 🤷🏽‍♀️

On a brighter note, I slept until that noise startled me (a little after 8).

I'm usually up and at 'em by 7:30 latest. Gotta tidy up the living room and get daddy's breakfast going. I like to be done with his morning routine (glucose check, breakfast, nebulizer, and morning meds) by 9.

No later than 9:30.

It just makes the day flow easier.

Our schedule is much easier now that he no longer has any meds he takes three times a day. That's something to be thankful for. 😌

Before daylight savings time, we were in bed by 10 p.m. Now that it's getting dark earlier, daddy is ready for bed earlier. It was 9 p.m. last week and now he's ready for bed by 8 p.m.

Good for me because I can start my wind down earlier.

What I've learned in the past several months is that the earlier I get in bed, the earlier I'll fall asleep. Even when I tell myself I'm not sleepy. 😂

Today we're heading out for several hours. I have an appointment at noon. We'll have lunch after then head to one of the supermarkets to pick up a cake or two (and maybe some pies) for Thursday. (The day we celebrate Thanksgiving Day here in the United States.)

On the way home we'll get daddy's prescriptions, I'll check the mailboxes then we're back home until Thursday. 😌

Et maintenant, it's time for me to get dressed so we can get outta here.

Have a great day y'all; be blessed, be a blessing! 💕

p.s. Come back later for some Mercury-in-retrograde musings. (Did y'all think I forgot? 😁😁)

868.

Good evening and Happy Monday folks.

I hope everyone is in good spirits and somewhere safe.

Other than being tired, I'm doing well. 🙆🏽‍♀️

Daddy is is well as he can possibly be with all the health obstacles he's experiencing.

Last week we had a scare in the wee hours that necessitated an overnight hospital stay. Afib, they said. He was put in observation, had his medications changed, then discharged back to home.

I was already tired but that hospital stay really knocked things out of wack.

Daddy had awakened me that morning around 3. The paramedics and EMTs came and we were at hospital by 4.

I had only just gone to sleep at 1 a.m. With getting checked into the E.R., waiting for a room, getting to the "room", and daddy getting his vitals checked and blood taken every 15-30 minutes (so it seemed), I was only able to get in a few winks and nods until I came home that night around 9 p.m.

My plan was to sleep a few hours then head back to the hospital around 4 or 5 a.m. But I was exhausted and decided against setting an alarm. I awakened before 8 a.m. and was back with him by 10.

Since he's been home I haven't been able to sleep through the night, waking every couple of hours until daylight and/or time to get up. 😫

Daddy has been very tired since he returned because he didn't get any sleep in hospital either. He does get his naps during the day and I doze. But it's not enough. I'm really gonna have to get in a solid 15-minute nap or two while he's getting his 😴😴😴.

This here care-taking ain't for the faint of heart, I tell ya. 

🌸 🌸 🌸

In other news, I've been talking with my friend. (And y'all have guessed by now that he's a "he" right? 😌)

So as I said, we've been talking. He seems to be doing well but I know how deceptive the grieving process can be, especially in the beginning. And we can never know how another person grieves because it's different for us all. It's such a long and winding road. Sometimes eerily quiet, other times loudly frightening.

My prayer for him is that he's able to move safely through this journey and emerge... intact.

We talk a lot about our dearly departed significant others. He knew Mr. Bliss. Not on a very personal level but they'd met a few times. I never got the chance to meet his lady. Hearing about her and their life together gives me a good feeling. I'm glad they were happy, that he was happy with her. 😊

He's a good guy. I hope he'll be that happy again one day. 💕

Amen.

867.

Good evening fine folks.

Are you all somewhere safe and happy?

I hope so.

Earlier today, I saw this: Pastor: When White Folks Say Obama Was an “Embarrassment”, Here’s What You Say.

Which made me think about this: post 707.

Are we there yet?

How do they sleep at night, those who are in a position to get rid of the menace but do nothing?

Do they care? Are they human? Or merely humanoid?

I've been reading a piece of fiction that falls in line with something I've been thinking for a while: climate change might annihilate us all faster than the fear, hatred, and ignorance that pits man against man.

How sad it is some days, to be a member of a species that prides itself on being the most intelligent while being unable to transcend something as trivial as skin color should be when it comes to treating others fairly. 😞

866.

Hello and happy Monday y'all.

Here in the US of A, we're honoring our retired military members with a day called Veteran's Day. It's the day we use to thank our former service men and women for their service to us.

The appreciation takes many forms. Sometimes we say it verbally or in writing. The federal government gives employees the day off. Other businesses do as well.

Restaurants give free and/or discounted food and drink. Some of them do this for the spouses of veterans as well. Some extend these offers to the widows/widowers of veterans as well.

I am the widow of a veteran but I won't be heading out for any free or discounted food or drinks today. I'm not feeling particularly festive. 😔

To all veterans, my sincerest "thank you" for your service. I will never forget even as I pray for the day all militaries need only be groups used for peaceful assistance around the world.

To Mr. Bliss, my darling, my love -- thank you for your service. Until we meet again, rest well airman. 💕

865.

How-do y'all and Happy Happy Friday! 🎉🎉🎉

I hope everyone is content and safe.

It's alternately overcast and raining here. Not the type of weather I look forward to but it's a day that all is well so I'm thankful. 🙏🏽

Daddy and I started our day early.

A trip to the powder room for me at 5:30 a.m. was unavoidable. I tried to be quiet because I didn't want to wake daddy. He went to bed at 10 last night but was up at 12:30 a.m., saying he saw my light. (The telly and laptop.)

Which meant he couldn't have been sleeping. (I'm starting to believe he's not getting much sleep at night because when we're home during the day, he sleeps a lot. I realized the other night that one of his medications causes him to use the bathroom frequently during the night.)

I laid back down but couldn't get back to sleep right away.

Before I knew it, daddy was up. I checked the time. It was 7:10 a.m. Although I was tired, I got up to begin my day.

I set up the sofa for daddy and put his breakfast on. When he came into the living room, I checked his sugar while we talked. We watched the morning news while I waited for his oatmeal to finish warming.

Then it was breakfast, morning meds with water, and more telly and talking.

Daddy eventually began to doze then decided he should have a proper nap in his bed.

I'm almost done fixing lunch. We're having bean soup/stew: cannelloni beans, great northern beans, carrots, chicken, green beans, cauliflower. I'll be adding corn to mine. (Daddy doesn't eat corn.)

The corn muffins are baking for another 8-10 minutes. (He does eat corn muffins.)

Bon appetite y'all. 🍗 🍲 🍜 🍞

864.2

Good day y'all.

I hope everyone is somewhere safe and feeling content.

I'm trying to relax and wondering how long it will be before I nod off. Yesterday wore me out somehow. Daddy had a doc appointment and we ran a few errands but we weren't out all day. Maybe it was the heavy bags I dragged in and the number of times I was up and down the steps to do so.

Daddy has more appointments next week and I have a service appointment for the vehicle. I like to get our grocery shopping done when we're out but I'm not sure if that will work next week. We'll see.

So folks, there is the matter of finishing post 864.

It ended here:

In more personal news, Daddy and I went out for dinner. We found a new (to me) local spot that has huge bowls.

And we continue here:

Bowls are trending now. I'm not sure why because they've been around for a while. I remember the first time we went to Qdoba. (Mr. Bliss was still alive so it was more than six years ago.) We all got burritos but bowls were an option.*

Daddy and I created our bowls from the many delicious menu options. The photos:

 My bowl: grilled chicken, quinoa, roasted sweet potatoes, lentils, roasted corn, kale slaw, some other stuff.

 My butternut squash soup.

Daddy's bowl: onions, pink onions, kale slaw, roasted sweet potatoes, sweet and spicy peppers, meatballs.

Did I say "delicious menu options"? I'll say it again: delicious menu options. The bowls were scrumptious.

I'd texted Baby Bliss before we left home, to tell her daddy and I were headed out for dinner. She had lots of questions, texting me up until daddy and I were actually eating.

In the middle of my gastronomic glee, someone came up behind me and put his/her hands over my eyes. (My glasses really.)

My first thought was, "Who the heck do I know that knows I'm here?"

It was my funny daughter with her beautiful baby hands. 💕

She and the fiancé were in town making the rounds. At night. 😐😑

My child stayed long enough to eat several mouthfuls from my bowl and talk to her grandpa while I ran out to the car to greet my son-in-law.

She, too, thought the food was delicious. So much so that she dropped a few dollars 💸 in the tip jar. (I love it when we people who have worked for tips in our previous lives show our appreciation for those who currently rely on tips to supplement their incomes by forking over some well-deserved 💰.)

My leftovers went with me. Daddy wasn't paying attention and he put his in the garbage. 😩

We made a pit stop on the way home but made it inside in time for evening meds and a couple of our evening tv shows before bed.

🌸🌸🌸

*Chipotle is our usual go-to for bowls in the real world. Although I will eat a burrito at a Mexican restaurant or similar, I switched to bowls a few years ago, when I began my carb-cutting "regimen". 😐 It's one of the fewer-carbs options I've been able to make work for me.

864.

Happy late-night y'all.

It's Tuesday evening here. For those of you interested in and familiar with American politics, mid-term elections results are almost in all over America. The House is projected to become majority blue (Democrat) and the Senate retains its red (Republican) hold.

I hope this brings some semblance of common sense back to our political process. As it stands, our country seems to have become a joke around the world.

🌸 🌸 🌸

In more personal news, Daddy and I went out for dinner. We found a new local spot that has huge bowls. 

863.

Hello and Happy Happy Sunday y'all!

Daddy and I have had an eventful weekend.

Friday night, we stayed up late to watch "Deja Vu". I had seen the movie several times but daddy saw it for the first time. It's one of my favorite thrillers and daddy liked it too.

I remember my first time seeing it. Not the date i saw it but my reaction to it. I'd been seeing previews and hearing about the movie but I resisted seeing it because I assumed I knew what it was about and I thought it would be boring. The same way I'd done with LOTR.

Silly me. 🤪

I thought it was just some kinda regular ole Denzel romantic thriller. To my surprise and delight, it was much more complex than that.

Just another lesson in not rushing to judgment. Which is totally different from following one's intuition. 😌

🌸 🌸 🌸

Although we were up late Friday night, when we got up Saturday morning, daddy and I decided to head to the mountains. Previously we'd said we would go this coming Friday but Saturday morning just felt like a day to head for the hills. ⛰

Daddy said he wanted to go but he was moving very slowly, lollygagging on his bed instead of getting it in gear. 😆 I had to remind him that the ride was two hours and we needed to hustle a bit so we could get to our destination before noon.

We actually made it to the car a half hour earlier than expected but I had to come back for a few things I'd forgotten. 🙃 (I really must create more lists and alarms. It's become the only way I can be sure I'll remember everything. Almost everything...)

The weather was beautiful. Cold but sunny. We were bundled up just enough but the wind was nippier than expected. I could have used a pair of gloves earlier in the day.

We didn't have a set schedule but I knew where I wanted us to go. We hit every spot and in just the right order too.

First I took daddy to see a beautiful college campus I visit when ever I'm up that way. It has a nice lake area and daddy loves water. Everyone was nice and helpful, telling us the best place to park and offering to help daddy up the short set of (steep-ish) stairs.

Next was lunch at my favorite BBQ joint. Wouldn't you know it, daddy had fish.  🐟🐠🐟 At the BBQ joint. I didn't even know they sold fish. 👀

We then went to one of my favorite thrift stores. Even though I don't always find things to buy there (I did in June) it's always an interesting place to browse. I thought it would be crowded because it was the weekend. Surprisingly, it wasn't.

Daddy liked the shop too. He found lots of interesting things to look at and he seemed very comfortable there.

The store only takes cash, which I had forgotten. I also forgot to get cash but thankfully I had about $40 in my wallet. We left with a pair of pants and a couple of shirts for daddy, a re-usable shopping bag for Baby Bliss, and a cone of some cool-looking yarn for me. (Which is now double-bagged in my freezer, in case there are any critters lurking in its darkest recesses.)

We headed for the next thrift store (Goodwill) but made a pit stop first at my favorite independent grocery store. They always have deep discounts on healthy (and sometimes international) goodies that are sky high everywhere else. Sometimes it's because the expiration dates have come and gone so one must pay close attention.

Daddy wandered around the store which was cool because I like him to feel that he doesn't have to be within my grasp at all times.

What I didn't know until later was that he was in search of junk food. He brought an iced pastry to me and asked if he could have it. I told him no but I would find him a healthy snack. He said a curt "okay" then tossed the pastry on the nearest shelf. 😯

Well okay Mr. Shade Thrower. 😑

I spent quite a bit of moola in that store, as I always do when I shop there. Some things were for Baby Bliss and her significant other, as we were stopping at their estate on the way home. (It's on the route.)

Goodwill was our last stop.

The store is new and it's big. Initially daddy seemed reluctant to venture off on his own. Possibly because the store was bustling with other shoppers and he was maneuvering with his walker. He tagged along behind me briefly then I lost sight of him.

Eventually we both ended up in the men's section.

We left with a whole lotta stuff. For me: two summer dresses, a bunch of books, a beautiful drinking glass that matches one I already have (and possibly got at that store), two small framed summery art pieces for my office. For Baby Bliss: a black purse, a set of cut crystal wine glasses, a beautiful book about cats, a set of mirrored Asian art pieces for her s.o.  For daddy: a pair of pants, a sweater, a couple of shirts, a piece of art for his bedroom wall.

An hour later we were crossing the moat at Baby Bliss's home.

(Seriously, there's a moat.)

As we drove up the hill to their driveway, I could hear the dogs barking. They were so excited to have company that we had to wait for their parents to reign them in so I could park safely.

As soon as I opened my door, their newest baby (a boy named Blue) put his head in my lap and looked up at me with puppy dog eyes. Such a sweetheart. You would never believe what I've heard about how he's torn up the house every day since he's been there. 😂😇😈

I got out and Blue jumped in to greet daddy.

A dog with his butt in my seat. 😩🙈

Our visit was short but pleasant. The house is huge. And cold. They have that youthful blood so I guess heat isn't a priority.

(Side note: As a mommy, I am a bit worried that they're not prepared for winter. It was already cold and that area gets real snow. I've been texting them daily, asking if they have shovels, salt, a generator, and other winter necessities. Better to get those things early and not get caught in a mad rush at the last minute.)

The kids are friendly with the long-term neighbors and on close terms with one of them so that's good. I need to tell Baby Bliss to give that neighbor my number and give her's to me.

We saw the neighbor's horses while we were there. 🐎

Gorgeous creatures. Social, intelligent, graceful.

One came over to the fence to seemingly converse with the dogs. I don't know what was conveyed but it must have been good.

The dogs began to run the length of the fence in the direction the horse came from. I was amazed to see the horse take off right behind them, on his/her side of the fence. The dogs came running back and about a minute later, three more horses 🐎🐎🐎 came to the same spot at the fence to talk about... us?

Maybe. 😉

The first horse hung back a ways, seeming to let the newly-arrived have their time with the dogs. A few minutes later, the three galloped over to the first horse and they all ran off to the part of the pasture that runs behind the house where we could no longer see them.

Fascinating and very moving. I'd only seen such on telly or in movies prior to last night.

It was close to dinner time when we were about 30 minutes from home. When we got closer to home, we stopped for dinner at Cracker Barrel.

Both daddy and I had a taste for fried chicken, which I've had at Cracker Barrel before and it was quite tasty. 🍗

Must have been a good cook that day.

When our chicken arrived, there was so much breading on it, I was reminded of armor. 😰 It made the chicken appear almost twice its normal size. Whyyyyyyy? Just a waste of good chicken.

It's bad enough that Cracker Barrel has only been selling the fried chicken for a short time. Now I will never feel comfortable ordering it again. 😭

And the dinner is four pieces of chicken which is half a chicken, right? No way to order just two pieces. 😒 I guess we could have ordered one dinner and one of us ordered extra sides. But who would have gotten which pieces? 😩

Maybe God was telling me/us that if we want fried chicken, I need to learn to cook it at home. If I do, it will be the oven-fried chicken that Baby Bliss used to make. It was delicious and it was easier and safer to cook it in the oven.

I do not like grease popping in my kitchen. Doesn't matter who's cooking.

🌸 🌸 🌸

In the last bit of news for this entry, I talked to my friend Saturday morning.

We talked for 30 minutes, while I did my morning chores and waited for daddy to get up.

The first few words of our conversation were surprising in a pleasant way. Then it became pleasantly funny.

We rang off with each of us reminding the other to be safe in our travels.

A great start to a fantastic day. 😊

And now my good people, I bid y'all good night. Time for 🛌. I'm beat.

Sweet dreams folks. 😴

862.

Hello good people.

Hopefully everyone is somewhere safe and if possible, enjoyable.

It's a warm-ish Wednesday evening in my realm. All is quiet as All Hallows Eve 👻 👹👺👺 winds to a close. In fact, it's been mostly quiet here all evening. I did hear a bit of commotion earlier, a dog barking and music but nothing outrageous.

No one knocked on my door for candy. Probably my porch light being off cued them in that there were no goodies to be given out here.

Halloween isn't a "holiday" I'm mad about. It was fun for a while, when I was in my late teens. My best friend and I would head uptown in our city, to an area that featured lots of festive fun for those who gathered.

It was quite a trek from our neighborhood, over an hour on the bus, but it was worth the trip. People literally mingled in the streets for hours, laughing, dancing, singing, eating, and drinking.  😁

Then we got older and Other Things took precedence, leaving us no time to participate in such frivolities.

*sigh*

I look back on those days fondly but not fondly enough to take Baby Bliss trick-or-treating when she was old enough.

Thank God for Mr. Bliss. 😀 He loved all things festive and Baby Bliss benefitted immensely. For many years he took her to get her costume and out to collect candy. 🍫🍭🍬

After we moved south and began home schooling, I did take her to Halloween parties given by other home schoolers who were her friends and peers.

They were fun if I recall correctly.

🌸 🌸 🌸

Daddy and I had an uneventful day. We've settled into a semi-routine. It varies depending on what time daddy gets up in the morning. Most days he's up by 8 a.m. If he isn't, I'll wake him. If he wasn't on medication and diabetic, it would be okay for him to sleep as late as he wants.

But he has to have his meds and meals properly spaced. I'm also monitoring his glucose levels (also known as "taking his sugar" or "checking his sugar") several times a day so that has to be factored in too.

We've been doing pretty good so far and I'm thankful.

Next week I'm hoping we can get to the mountains for a day. Before daddy got here, I was planning a beach vacation for him with Baby Bliss, my mom, and possibly Baby Bliss' fiancé. But the hurricanes necessitated re-thinking that one.

I think a trip to the mountains will be a good substitute. We can eat and shop, enjoy the scenery and the fresh mountain air.

He said he wanted to go but I'll play it by ear. There's always the park at the lake if daddy isn't up to a day of travel and frolic.

🌸 🌸 🌸

In other news, I got a call from my friend this morning. We talked for an hour. All is well.

🌸 🌸 🌸

Looks like I forgot to mention a visit from Baby Bliss and her intended. They dropped by on Saturday, to see my dad and get more of her things. 👚👜👢📓📕🎹🎤

Daddy was napping when they arrived so they visited with him in his room. He was happy to see them.   😊

861.

🌸 🌸 🌸

I am thankful for the good people I've chosen to be in my life who choose me right back.

Amen.

🌸 🌸 🌸

860.

I just watched the funniest episode of "Modern Family" that I've seen to date.

It's this one: Lake Life.

Check it out if you get the chance.

I hope it makes you laugh too. 😁

859.

Good evening and Happy Thursday y'all. 👋🏽 😘

It's been a busy day around these parts.

My morning started with making my bed, getting daddy's breakfast and morning meds ready, and a phone call that was a lesson in humility.

What had happened was...

A friend has been going through a period of distress and I've been trying to be as supportive as possible. 🤗

Our interaction has been good for me too. There are very few people I can confide in and this friend happens to be one of those people.

However, this morning I woke up feeling like maybe I'd been taking advantage of my friend because I felt I was getting so much from our conversations.

During the apology conversation I initiated this morning, I became emotionally overwhelmed and began to cry. But it was a silent cry because I didn't want my friend to know I was crying. I didn't want to cause any guilty feelings (and feel even worse myself, for doing so).

When the conversation ended, I felt better but I also felt awful because I felt like I might have alienated my friend somehow. We rang off and I went back to my morning busy-ness.

A few minutes later my phone rang. It was my friend calling back to say all was well: it was okay that we both benefited from our conversations, I shouldn't feel bad about it, it wasn't a secret that I had been crying, that I could call any time I needed or wanted, that we were okay.

My friend also thanked me for being available during this time of distress. I did the same.

When we rang off I cried a bit more, thankful to have such a person in my life and thankful that I could be that person for someone else. 😌

There is so much to be grateful for in life, despite the things that are less than positive. Every day I understand this to a greater degree.

🌸 🌸 🌸

Daddy had a mid-day appointment and after it was done, we hit the streets and ran wild. 🏃🏾🏃🏾‍♀️

We went to Home Goods in search of a healthy-er breakfast bar for daddy. His current diet is about 75 percent fresh foods, with a lot of that being organic when possible; about 20 percent is frozen and the rest is "other".

He's been missing his junk food so I'm attempting to be flexible with some healthy-er items that I hope will appease his appetite for the unhealthy stuff.

One of the good things about having daddy here is that watching his diet is also helping me watch how I'm eating as well. I've become much more conscious of how much salt I use daily because daddy is on a sodium-restricted diet.

And not that I'm eating salt on everything but I do like the taste of it and I'm realizing that I tend to overdo it.

Example: last week I had an issue with my right foot and ankle swelling. After a bit of research, lots of water and hibiscus tea were imbibed in addition to applications of topical potions. Thankfully it all worked.

Let's blame it on my weakness for roasted and salted macadamia nuts. 😜 Although I don't buy them often (maybe once every few months or so), they are one of my weaknesses. Last week a bag crept into my buggy at the supermarket. It took me the week to eat them but it was a manic week. It was like I'd been overcome by a spirit that caused me to return to the kitchen again and again for two or three nuts every hour or so. 😂😰

Cue the swelling. 😔

Also daddy loves some foods I either don't eat or I eat in moderation (meaning I probably don't buy them but I'll eat them when I'm out if I have a taste for them). When buying those items for him, I must read labels. (Specifically for sodium amounts but also for carb count.)

When cooking for us both, I have to watch the amount of salt I use which is also forcing me to get creative with other spices. 😟😰

Other spices... Yeah... We'll get there. 😋

After we didn't find what we needed at Home Goods, we headed to lunch at an Indian restaurant across the street. We also went to Wal-Mart and the post office before heading home.

We were gone from noon until six p.m.

Long day.

Daddy is currently napping. I'll wake him for his evening meds and a snack in another hour or so. When he returns to bed I'll unwind with my dinner and a few pages of "Babycakes". Then I'll watch telly and ramble around online until I nod off.

I've fallen into my old (bad) habit of staying up after midnight and it's taking a toll on me. Daddy usually makes a bathroom run in the wee hours. It disrupts my sleep and although I'm able to doze off again, there are only a few hours between being awakened and my wake-up call (usually eight a.m.)

It's not enough because I'm usually nodding towards afternoon. Since I can't add hours on the wake-up end, I need to get to sleep earlier.

Bed time tonight will be 11 p.m.

858.

Oh Happy Day y'all!

I hope everyone is doing well.

Daddy and I are. We're still adjusting to our new life. I'm beginning to see that it's an ongoing process, just like everything else in life.

As soon as I think all is in order, here comes that ole monkey with her wrench. 🐒

Que sera, sera baby. I'm doing what I can and leaving the rest to that good and great Higher Power that has gotten us this far. 🤗🙏🏾

As usual, so much has happened since I was last here. 👀

Daddy has had two doc appointments, one with his primary and one with his cardio. Both doctors were very concerned about his kidneys (not news) based on his lab results (both sets) but his cardio's office called today to say daddy's labs were "good".

His cardio also said (at the appointment) that we would see a lot of him in the next few months because he wants to monitor daddy carefully. He also mentioned that he wants to see if he can get daddy off of a few of his current meds, to make daddy's life more "comfortable".

Although that word can have a negative connotation for a person whose health is... as unfavorable as daddy's is currently, I'm not reading anything into it because I know where daddy was back in December and where he is now.

While I am a realist, I am also optimistic. Especially when it comes to daddy because I've seen his resilience. The realist in me also sees that he is far from being well. He is, however, doing his best with the hand he's now holding.

He asks a lot of questions about his medications and asks me to explain some things that his doctors have said. I'm honest with him but speak gently.

For example, daddy talks often about buying a truck and going back to work. I always encourage him but remind him that he is on several medications that discourage driving and he'll need approval from his doctors before he can drive again and return to work.

🌸 🌸 🌸

In other news daddy and I were out the other day, gallivanting. As we were returning to the car, I heard a strange sound. I asked daddy if he'd heard it. He said yes. I looked around but didn't see anything so I continued helping daddy into the car.

The noise came again, louder this time and I realized it was somewhere above my head. I looked at the top of the building we'd just left and saw two black birds. They were looking at me then turned to each other and became more vocal.

I laughed and told daddy to look at the birds and pointed up. I stood outside the car and listened for a while, surprised at their sound. Were they crows? Ravens?

No clue. I needed to do some research.

I watched and listed for about a half minute then left. We had shopping to do and lunch to eat.

Daddy and I went to the closest Goodwill for a few hours then ended up at a nearby Thai restaurant I found by accident. The food ☕🍲🍚🍗🍅 was fresh and delicious. We will definitely eat there again.

🐦 🐦 🐦

Okay, so back to the BURDS: from what I read online, the pair I saw was most likely ravens. First, they were a pair and ravens are said to travel in twos. (Crows are usually seen in groups.) They also didn't sound like crows. There was no "caw", rather something more pleasing and melodic.

Some of you may know that I believe the Divine Creator speaks to us in many ways. I believe in spirit animals and animal totems, dream symbology and dream interpretation, and lots more.

If anyone is interested, the intel on raven as spirit animal is interesting. Check it out here: Raven Symbolism and here: Raven Power Animal Master Magician Keeper of Secrets. (The second link is the one that resonates best with me.)

I'm not sure what news or event(s) the ravens are heralding for my life but know what I want it to be. I also know whatever it is, it will be for my healing and highest good.

Along with my most recent Lotus Tarot e-mail (which was titled, "The Journey of the Sun"), I feel that blessings will abound and my gratitude is overflowing.

Amen.

🌸 🌸 🌸

Sad news that relates to a previous post but I can't say which one because I can't reveal the "who":

A person who I was once very close to (and who I'm currently on good terms with) called me a few weeks ago to say he'd lost his significant other in the previous month. I was immediately saddened, knowing how difficult it is to lose a partner.

He said he hadn't told me sooner because he knew I was dealing with my dad's situation and he didn't want to burden me in any way. I expressed my condolences and thanked him for his consideration. We talked a while longer and I assured him that I was available to talk to him any time he wanted to reach out.

Since then we've talked many times, including a recent call. He seems to be doing okay but it's hard to truly assess because of our limited contact.

Everyone's grief journey is different. There is no magic formula for me to send him but I wish there was because I know how devastating the pain associated with losing your love can be. 😩💔

I'm keeping him in my prayers. 🙏🏾

Not to be abrupt folks but that's my time. ⏰ I'm beat. 😫

Smooches to all! 💋💋💋

857.

Happy Sunday folks.

I hope everyone has been well in the time that I've been absent.

Saying "I've been busy", is an understatement.

At this moment, I am fighting exhaustion. Seriously.

As soon as I'm done with this (short) post, I'm passing out in a pile of pillows.

But I wanted to share this with you all: my daddy is now living with me. 🙌🏽

Finally. 😀😌

Surprise! 😀 🎉🎉🎉😀

He has been here a week as of Saturday.

We're still adjusting.

Those of you who have ever been caretakers for parents (or other elderly and/or disabled persons) probably have an idea of how my life has changed and will change in the days/weeks/months/years to come.

I'm still learning.

I'm also realizing it's a lot like having a toddler in the house, something I have experience with. Can't say I recall being this tired back then but maybe I was. 😫

In any event I'm thankful to have daddy here, where I know he's respected and being treated well.

Daddy is doing well despite his myriad of (serious) health issues. He's resting, eating well, getting his meds...

We've had quite a few visitors (friends and family), gotten a lot of business taken care of, and even spent time hanging out a bit in the past week.

It's been a long ride y'all. It's not over but we've changed direction for the better.

My sincerest "thank you" to everyone who has taken this journey with us. Thank you all for your prayers, for your positive thoughts and energy, for any moment you've taken to wish us well.

We are grateful. 🙇🏽‍♀️🙇🏾

More later folks... 

856.

Oh my gosh y'all!

I wrote this post on September 16 and forgot to publish it.

It seems reminding myself to "publish first, edit later" (lest I forget!) isn't working.

*sigh*

So here it is today, September 30. So much has happened before and since this post...

I promise to update as soon as possible folks.

As always, stay tuned!

🌸 🌸 🌸 

September 16, 2018

Hello, hello, hello and happy day folks!

I hope everyone is safe and content.

There was a hurricane swirling near me. Florence was her name. She is now tropical storm Florence.

I live over 200 miles from the coast so no storm surge here but we're getting wind and rain. Flash flooding is predicted. I'll be inside, for the duration.

This has been a weekend of putting the finishing touches on a Special Project. Saturday I had some help from The Athlete. He had said he would do a big part of the project for me but I wasn't too sure so I started yesterday and left the hard parts for him.

He kept his word, surprising and delighting me. Not only did he help me, but he also gave me something really nice. I can't say what it is because that would reveal the surprise I'll share some time next week.

Before he left, because I know he never has any food at his place (and definitely nothing in the way of emergency preparedness), I made a small Hurricane Care Package for him to take home: two cans of tuna, half a sleeve of crackers, a four pack of peaches, an apple, a package of graham crackers, two bottles of water, two floating candles, and several small boxes of matches.

🌸 🌸 🌸

So y'all have probably guessed that I've been super busy since I was last here.

There were two more dates with pale blond guy. We had fun. I really liked him and we seemed to get along well. But there was also this weird energy that I couldn't decipher. And he was dealing with some personal issues that don't mesh well with my current and soon-to-be lifestyle.

We just kinda let it drift. But he gave me a couple of things that he probably wants back and he should have them because they're his. Howevva, he hasn't said anything and neither have I. My schedule is gonna change drastically pretty soon so he's gonna have to figure out a way to get his stuff that doesn't involve us meeting face-to-face. 🤷🏽‍♀️

I also had a long and fun date with a guy I met at a party this past winter. Lots of fun but we both knew it was a one-shot deal because my new schedule likely won't allow me to see him again.

He knows about my upcoming schedule changes and has actually been sending me encouraging messages as I move toward my new life.

This change will be major and I'm thankful for all the motivation I can get. 💓

Stay tuned for more folks!

855.

Good day and happy happy Wednesday folks!

My apologies for not getting swiftly to my Mercury retrograde escapades but my acknowledgement of the death of our Queen Aretha took precedence.

She reminded me so much of my godmother...

My prayers for her family and friends, as they begin their journey of life without her. 😔

🌸 🌸 🌸

Et maintenant, let's get to it!

Mercury has gone direct, thank you gods!

The most recent Mercury retrograde (roughly July 25 - August 15, depending on who you ask) was a whirlwind of hot ass messiness for me.

Yes, yes, yes, I heard from the "exes": the Astronaut (a call and a few texts), the Man-in-Waiting (a call), a guy who has no nickname (texts), and the guy I had the date with on Sunday, August 12 (a few calls and several texts).

All calls went directly to voicemail. Y'all know why.

The messy part concerned the two "exes" with no nicknames. One I had a date with and one I never did meet but we'd e-mailed, texted, and talked for a week or so.

They both tried to gaslight me, unaware that I have zero tolerance for b.s. of that nature.

One of them (the one I did not meet and had told buh-bye a month prior) tried to out-reason, out-talk, out-rationalize me. Via text.

*blank stare*

He was blissfully unaware of a Gemini's dexterity with the written word.

I enlightened him and he took it badly. I offered to introduce him to a family member who is a member of law enforcement.

Seriously.

How (and why) the hell does a self-proclaimed business owner, who is all over social media claiming to be living his best life, get his panties in a bunch because I caught him lying and subsequently denied him further access to my time?

God knows I don't bother folk because I'm trying to live my best life.

Guys like him are why I have had to ghost folk and get a gun permit. My time and safety are of the utmost importance.

The second guy with no nickname was slow enough 🐢 with his lies to make it to a first date. See details here: Post 853.

To continue, he called and texted after a couple of days of going missing. I was polite in my two-word responses to his texts and told him I'd call him when I got home. 🏡 🏘

A bit petty and passive-aggressive, yes. But I got feeling a bit snippish every time I saw a text from him.

I'm pretty sure he wasn't sitting around waiting for my call those three days. 😐🙉

🌸 🌸 🌸

I also heard from a family member I no longer engage with.

😶

On to more pleasant topics. 😃

🌸 🌸 🌸

I had two dates last weekend, one on Saturday afternoon and one Sunday evening.

The men were nothing alike.

They both seemed like cool guys "on paper" (the online dating site).

One was 11 years younger than me. The other is seven years older.

Saturday's lunch (with the older guy) lasted three hours. Prior to meeting, we exchanged e-mail on the dating site, had two or three phone conversations, then decided to meet.

We live an hour apart so we agreed to meet roughly half way, at a little Mexican spot. We were both a few minutes late but he arrived first. He brought me gifts. 💕 Very thoughtful and totally unexpected.

He's maybe an inch taller than me, blond, pale skin. Self-employed in a very interesting career and an artist as well.

The food was yummy, our conversation was superb. Overall, a dynamite vibe. We've e-mailed, talked, and texted since then. The plan is to see each other this weekend. Twice. (More on that later.)

🍗 🍗 🍗

Sunday's dinner (with the younger guy) was interesting.

We were both late and actually arrived simultaneously. He parked right next to me. Didn't even open my car door. (Strike one.) He did open the restaurant door and held out my chair at the table. (Half a gold star.)

He was a few inches taller than me, dark hair, brown skin. Employed with the same corporation for over a decade and transferred to this area close to a year ago.

Casual sports bar environment. Food was good. Conversation was cool. It was also bi-lingual. (More so him than me. I'm always "practicing" my French. Shouldn't have stopped with high school.)

Things seemed to be going well but about halfway through, I began to feel like he'd lied about something(s) that I couldn't quite put my finger on.

No big deal. I made a mental note to figure it out later.

An hour and a half later, we said our good byes with a hug and a cheek peck at my car.

I got home and logged into the dating site, to refer back to his profile and our old messages for something to refresh my memory.

And there it was: His profile said he was childless. During dinner I brought up children and he said he had two, a teenager and a preteen.

We had also messaged about the area of town he lived in because of a suggestion he made for an outing. It came up during dinner that he lives in a totally different county and not at all near where he said he lived.

Dude. 😒

He wanted to meet for a movie the next day. I bowed out gracefully.

Honestly, I have no problem with the occasional smudging of a few details here and there with strangers regarding things we think are private.

But telling me you don't have children and outright lying about the whole county you live in? Naw.

I don't date men with minor children. Specifically because I'm done raising mine. Also, I believe men should spend as much time with (and money on) their minor children as possible and necessary.

I don't want to take away from that money or that time. Nor do I want the children's time and/or money to be a reason for why we can't do xyz in our relationship or used to lie about where he was last weekend.

Been there, done that so I'll have to pass the baton to a sista who's willing.

We'll see what the future holds for the other dudes.

Ciao folks!

854.

All hail the Queen!

Thank you for all you've given us.

Rest in power auntie... ✊🏽

853.

Happy happy Tuesday y'all!

I hope everyone is somewhere safe and that everyone has enough.

There's a cricket somewhere near. It's loud. But I can't tell if it's inside or out. I'm hoping it's out because bugs inside are a no-no.

My living room windows are open and I'm sitting on the floor in front of the sofa, enjoying the breeze. I can also hear the sound of hundreds of gallons of water being wasted because my neighbor forgot to turn the spigot off after she used her hose. 😩

I texted her but it's late and dark. Maybe she'll turn it off tomorrow.

🌸 🌸 🌸

Sunday's date was fun, despite a few red flags. We met at a place I've had many dates, one of my favorite restaurants down in the big city.

We shared calamari appetizers, had a few drinks (my favorite non-alcoholic beverage for me). After we finished our respective main courses, we headed out for a walk.

Back story: We'd met online a week or so earlier and talked by phone for a few days before agreeing to meet.

I already knew it wouldn't be a love match. But he really wanted to meet me so I agreed. I was already heading to the Big City for another event so we agreed to meet at the location I was already headed to.

Unless one is psychic, which is always the exception to any and all rules, one can't possibly know if a romantic relationship will be successful long-term just by talking to the other person on the phone. ☎

This guy was just too gung ho about our future together, before we met. 😕

It felt like it was the future he'd been planning for himself for a long time; he just needed a woman -- maybe any woman -- to plug into the empty space.

A turn-off. (I was glad he was planning a future but I happen to prefer discussing life goals then making plans as a couple, if we get to that stage. 👫)

But back to the date...

The food was good and there was lots of laughter and good conversation, three things I love on a date. But he also tried to get me to commit to agreeing to do something I'd previously told him I don't do. (Nothing illegal or immoral, just something I have zero interest in doing.)

Another turn off. No means no, regardless of the topic or reason.

It was a four-hour date and while I enjoyed hanging out with him, there won't be a second date.

He did ask to see me again before we parted and I said yes. However he seemed to have lost some of his original enthusiasm at some point on Monday.

We talked a few times while he was at work. We also talked a couple of times after he got off work, as he was (allegedly) heading to eat dinner before going home. The last two calls were short. Before we ended the last call, he said he he'd call when he got home.

I guess he never made it home but I did receive two cryptic texts from him. I responded generically to the first and the second shall remain unanswered.

As I wasn't counting on a white picket fence with dude, I'm good with letting things drift into the ether.

Here's to good dates. 🥂

May they always end with a smile. 😀

Be sure to read post 854 to hear my current Mercury retrograde tidbits and more. 🎺🎻😁

Correction: Should be post 855.

852.

Happy, happy Sunday folks!

As always, I hope everyone is somewhere safe and doing well.

There has been so much going on in my life...

First, I'm having issues with figuring out how to convert the audios to some type of video format because Blogger (a.k.a. Google) doesn't allow me to just straight up embed the audio files here.

Are y'all asking why the heck not? So am I.

But let's move on, shall we? 💁🏽

I'll go back and work my way to "now", but full disclosure: I have a date in a few hours so I might be speed writing. If anything sounds weird, don't worry. I'll return later to smooth it all out.

🌸 🌸 🌸

After thinking I might put a little more time between visits to daddy, fate intervened in a way I probably would have seen coming if I had been using my rational mind. 

When I returned home from my June visit, my father's wife was living in the nursing home along with daddy. Well, one fine day, her warden (a.k.a. her daughter) came and snatched her out. The grapevine told me that my stepmother's daughter made an ugly scene (something the daughter excels at), cursing at her mom and saying it was time for her mom to get back home where she belonged.

So she left, to hell with my daddy. Daddy said she tried to cajole him into leaving with her but he stood his ground and did not go. (Good for you daddy!👍🏾)

A few days later I was on the road 🚙 to go see about my daddy. I felt he needed a morale boost, to know that I had not abandoned him, and he was still loved and cared for. 

We had a fantastic week-long visit. Daddy is doing exceptionally well. He asked to start physical therapy again in June and he has transitioned from the wheelchair to a walker. Even his doctors are amazed. 

If there is a genetic component to being resilient, I get it from both sides. Maybe a bit more from daddy... He has had several heart attacks -- three that I know of -- and a stroke, colon cancer, two surgeries for stent-placement and one for an implanted defibrillator. He has beat several addictions, a direct hit to the face by a flying pressure cooker lid that broke some of his front teeth in his late teens, being hit by a car as a youth...

My daddy is a survivor! 🙌🏽 👍🏽

And I want to thank you all for your prayers, positive thoughts, and positive energy for daddy's health and healing. I believe it all helps and so does daddy, who extends his gratitude through me.

🌸 🌸 🌸

I bought a new sofa folks. It's a small futon sofa, which will hopefully never get used as a futon. It's cute. Gray fabric and black legs, two colors I never thought I would have in my living room but the futon was only $90 and I needed to get that old sofa (love seat, really) outta here. (Thanks Habitat for Humanity!)

The sofa was on sale at Aldi the week of July 18. 

It looks nicer than I imagined it would, when I saw it in the picture. 😌

851.

Happy, Happy Thursday everyone!

I hope everyone is safe and happy. I am and I'm thankful.

A howling storm tore through our neighborhood last night. Lots of debris was strewn about when I went out this morning. Tree branches, tree bark, leaves...

There was also a lot of muddy dirt on my porch because one of my flower pots blew over. I accept total blame because the pot was top heavy. There were no plants in it, just dirt and the pinwheel flowers I bought from Dollar Tree to brighten up the porch and entertain me a bit when the wind stirs.

I rearranged things out there today so hopefully the next monsoon won't disrupt the porch tableau.

So about that new thing I mentioned in my last post: audio files supplemented with photos and/or videos because I've been really bad at updating the blog lately.

I want to stay current because as much as I enjoy sharing my life with y'all, this blog is also my living memoir. For as long as I'm living. After I'm gone it will become part of my legacy. Gotta keep it as real as I can.

Okay, so there are currently three audio files waiting to be uploaded here, all recorded on August 1 while I was enjoying the sights and sounds of my favorite local park on the lake.

Actually there are four files but the last one is what I got when I separated the last recording into two recordings, which I did because I forgot to stop the recorder when I went to offer my assistance to... Well, y'all will hear what I mean.

I can hear me talking to folks, walking back to the car (with the phone-in-my-purse noises), me discovering that the phone was still on, etc.  Funny but not for public consumption because the other people probably don't want to be featured here.

All further jaw-flapping aside, I present the audios:

🌸 🌸 🌸

Welllll, looks like I'm having technical difficulties with uploading audio files.

As soon as I figure it out, I'll be back! 

850.

Hello and Happy Thursday folks! 😀😁

It's been a while, yes?

My sincerest apologies everyone but I have been busy. I hope to make up for it with Something New for the blog.

Stay tuned. 👀👂

849.

I checked the line up for my neighborhood theater.

Nothing I want to see today.

But "Mamma Mia! Here We Go Again" is coming soon. I think I'll wait for that one.

Time for lunch y'all! 🍉🍔🍗🍝

848.

Good morning and Happy Tuesday folks!

I hope everyone is somewhere safe and peaceful. 🌺

I'm relaxing this morning, watching "Dateline" and contemplating a movie because it's "Cheap-Movie Tuesday" in my region. 🎥

So, the promised information about resiliency...

I can't seem to find the specific article I was thinking of but I did find other information that interested me. Some is scientific research, some "other".

Perhaps you'll find something here that will interest you as well.

1.  In Brief: The Science of Resilience
2. What is Resilience? (This is an online PDF file so I'm not sure if it links correctly. If the link doesn't work, try this one What is Resilience? and look to the left for the red box that says "Download PDF".)
3. What is Resilience? (This is a really short definition, by the Resilience Research Centre. Lots to see here, on their website.)
4. Five Science-Backed Strategies to Build Resilience
5. How to Build Resilience in Midlife 

While I think of resiliency as a gift, from what I've read, it is a life skill that can be learned by anyone.

If you know anyone who could benefit from developing the life skill of resiliency, please share these resources with them.

847.

Good morning and Happy Happy Monday folks.

I hope everyone is somewhere safe, peaceful.

I woke up this morning from a dream I can't recall at the moment.

Perhaps I'll remember it later.

Any who, right now I want to clarify something from the last post.

It was not meant to devalue anyone's feelings, emotions, or the way anyone deals with challenges in their lives.

I understand that we are all different in how we process life's events.

I know everyone is not given the... gift of resiliency and I remain thankful for it.*

Life can be difficult for some. It is difficult for some. Sometimes it's difficult for me.

Mr. Bliss used to say one of the reasons he loved me so much was because I was one of the most compassionate people he knew, that I had the biggest heart.

I believe this is true.

It's possible that my compassion for others comes as a result of "knowing what it's like"... I'm not sure.

There have been more than a few occurrences in my life that could have broken me. There may still be more to come.

What I know is that I survived everyone of them. Changed perhaps but still here and hopefully evolving into my best self.

Regardless of what has happened or what may happen, I need to keep positive thoughts and energy flowing even if circumstances seem to dictate otherwise.

I recognize that some people, for any number of reasons, are unable to do this.

They are the fragile among us.

God bless them and my prayers are that they receive the assistance they need to maneuver their paths.

Amen.

🌸 🌸 🌸

* I read an article about resiliency one day... what it is, how it happens. I'll see if I can find it and link to it.

846.2

Good evening folks.

Almost bed time here. I'm getting slee-e-e-e-e-e-epy!

And now, not to waste any time lest I nod off, let's get to the reason for this post: why I think I had the dream I detailed in post 846.

Last week I received a text one afternoon from The-Man-in-Waiting asking, "Why did you do me like that? Why?"

Seriously? 😵

I ignored it.

He has a right to whatever he's feeling. And I have a right to let sleeping dogs lie. And snore. For eternity.

I could have answered him but I chose not to. Nothing I say will make him feel better because nothing I say will be what he wants to hear.

In the evening hours of the same day, The-Man-in-Waiting called me. Twice. Back-to-back. 😕

I couldn't have answered if I wanted to. His number is no longer stored in my phone so it goes straight to my voicemail via the call blocker module of the antivirus software I use.

The next afternoon he called again. He left no voicemails. I only knew he called because all calls register on my call log, regardless of personal approval rating.

So although he and I shared no verbal or written conversation, he had intruded upon my peace and insinuated himself into my subconscious. 😔

That's why, metaphorically speaking, I believe the place I was leaving in the dream could have been his place.

And the rest: all the walking; the mud; the anxiety about the walls possibly falling down on me and trapping me; the two rings of brick surrounding the basement room...

So much symbology in dreams, representations of things that escape our conscious thoughts in waking life. Things we shoo away and force into boxes that get tucked away in cobwebby corners in the backs of our minds...

Later it also came to me that I had also recently had a dream with The-Man-in-Waiting actually in it. I remembered that it happened on Wednesday, the day I was so tired that I had to lay down in bed for a nap. I had the dream right before I awoke.

In the dream, I'm not sure if we actually talked but the phone was involved. He wanted me to come back to him, to start over and pretend like everything was okay. Or perhaps he'd forgotten what happened. Possible also is that in the dream, nothing untoward had happened.

That part is unclear.

I do remember waking and thinking that would never happen and wondering why I had had the dream. It's rare for me to dream about the men I date.

The real-life text and the first two calls came a couple of days later; the third call, a day after the first two.

What he thinks I did, I don't know. We all filter our realities through the veil of our own life experience, expectations, etc., so there's that.

I can tell y'all this: The "why me" or "why does this always happen to me" mentality is a no-no in my world.

Shit happens because shit happens. 💩💩💩

Call it karma, kismet, fate, The Drawing of the Three, the Red String... whatever.

It's all Life.

As much as I like to believe I know why some particular thing happened, I also know I could be totally wrong because I cannot possibly be privy to every single piece of whatever puzzle I might be focused on.

As much as we want it to, it just doesn't work that way.

And who says it should?

Becoming an Optimistic Realist is freeing. It's also frustrating. But it allows me to ground myself with the knowledge that no matter how much insight God gives me, some shit just ain't my business.

Having said that, I keep The-Man-in-Waiting in the subconscious prayer chamber along with everyone else who is no longer part of my daily conscious thoughts but who is "standing in the need of prayer".

As well, I pray for me, because as the song says: It's not my sister, it's not my brother. It's me oh Lord standing in the need of prayer.*

Because truly, there but for the grace of God, go I. Where ever "there" may be...

Amen.

🌸 🌸 🌸

* There are several versions of this song. I happen to like the more upbeat versions.

I found one on YouTube. Take a listen.

Sweet dreams y'all.

846.

Good morning and Happy Happy Sunday folks!

I hope everyone is somewhere safe.

I woke up from a busy dream.

Lots of movement.

(Actually there were several dreams but I only remember the one I woke from.)

I was literally dragging baggage. 👝👜

Initially I had some sort of wheeled thing to drag my bags on. At some point it changed to me just dragging my bags. One was my real-life blue and black travel bag. The other two appeared to be purses but I can't say I've ever seen them in my purse collection.

So I was dragging these bags, walking up the road, leaving someone's home (I believe).

(Aside: I think this dream was brought on by a couple of things that happened this past week. More on that later.*)

I got to a neighborhood that was still under construction.

The street was very wide. It was also blocked in the direction I was headed so I had to walk on the sidewalk that consisted of mud and chips of lumber. On both sides, there were high walls made of the mud and lumber.

I became paranoid at one point, worried that the walls might fall in on me. (But only on the side I was walking on. The street really was wide.)

On the far side of the street, there seemed to be a few houses built into the mud and timber but I wasn't sure because they were shadowy and high up. I remember thinking I would never want a house like those. They looked eerie and dangerously perched.

I kept walking. Eventually I came to some finished homes. 🏠 They were made of dark bricks that looked like they were made of... mud and timber.

I kept walking and came to another blockage. The only way out was through.

Two blond-haired kids -- a young boy 👦 and a young girl 👧 -- came out of the house blocking the way. They showed me to a door and led me inside.

Inside was a big room with a low ceiling. I think we were in the basement of one of the houses. There were lots of adults in the room. They seemed to be busy but I didn't see them actually doing anything.

An African-American woman came over, smiling. We talked about how the kids had brought me, a stranger, in and how we hoped our own kids wouldn't do anything similar.

The kids beckoned, led me to an opening in the brick that led to outside. But we were still under the house so not fully outside.

The opening was rectangular-shaped and I managed to squeeze through but there seemed to be an inner and outer ring of brick surrounding the basement so I had to get beyond the second ring to actually be outside.

I came to a opening I couldn't get out of but the kids appeared and led me to an area eventually got me outside and to a gate where a blond woman  👩 (their mom?) waited for them in what I think was a parking lot.

They said goodbye to me and left with her.

I continued walking. (Why didn't I get a ride with these folks?)

I arrived at a (downtown?) hotel 🏨 that spanned two cylindrical (?) buildings joined on the second or third floor.

The outside/drive up area leading to check-in was covered on top but open on either side. The doorman (an older African-American gentleman) was closing the doors of a taxi that he'd just acquired for a group of men dressed in suits and ties.

I walked over to him and asked if he could get me an inexpensive taxi to the airport. ✈

He suggested I get the shuttle. 🚐  He called over a younger male hotel employee (also African-American) and told him to take me to So-and-So's office so I could get shuttle information.

The young man and I went up the steps into the hotel. En route to So-and-So's office, we stopped at the vending machine in the employee area.

There were lots of snacks. 🍩🍪🍫🍬 I specifically recall seeing a package of the small powdered donuts I love and gum.

We had a funny conversation about the gum (as I stuck a few packs in my purse) then continued on our way.

Whether or not I made it to the airport remains a mystery because that's when I woke up. 😞

🌸 🌸 🌸

*Stay tuned for the rest...

845.

Does anyone remember this post: 340: sally?

It's an oldie.

I looked for it to see if there was any follow up because my neighbor and I had a conversation about the movie last night.

She didn't remember the movie and I couldn't recall the name although I know I have since I wrote that post several years ago.

The movie (which has since been remade): Don't Be Afraid of the Dark.

Have any of you seen it?

If you like 70s scary movies, check it out.

Some how... 

844.

It's a beautiful day here.

I'm thankful.

Amen.

843.

Goooooood morning and Happy Happy Saturday folks!

I do hope everyone is somewhere safe.

Fingers crossed that no one stepped on any cracks or whistled indoors yesterday! 😜

It is Saturday morning here, in my tiny part of the globe. But maybe it's not where you are?

If it isn't, Happy Happy Happy _____day and good afternoon or evening to you! 💋

So, my Friday evening was pleasant.

I had dinner with my neighbor. She cooked hamburgers, chili, and baked beans. We also had fixings for a green salad, starting with the six or seven types of salad dressing she lined up on the table. There was also Cole slaw, chopped onions, sliced tomatoes, gherkins, shredded cheese, and several types of sliced cheese.

We laughed and chatted while we ate then watched telly until she nodded off a few times. I got drowsy too and she encouraged me to nod off on her sofa, a nice gesture but I wanted to get home and into my comfy loungewear so I could loll about properly.

Shortly after I got in, I tuned into Dateline. The special topic was the Jonestown massacre of November 18, 1978, a tragedy that has both haunted and fascinated me since it happened. 😕

Haunted me because I always felt that if I had been living in San Francisco during that era, there is a chance I could have been swept into that madness.

Let me explain:

When I was 9 or 10, I somehow became obsessed with the idea that I had been born in the wrong era and should have been a flower child out in the (California) Bay Area. Maybe I had seen too many movies or something. I don't know...

But I was enamored with all things San Francisco, anything hippy-esque. And I thought of running away, to San Francisco. Seriously. (As discussed in post 176.)

Then came the headlines about Jonestown, Guyana, The Peoples Temple, mass suicide...

I was devastated when I learned the details, gleaned from newspapers and news reports. I felt personally impacted, sickened, when I saw images of the bodies and bodies and bodies, laying out in the Guyana heat and sun, a place so far and alien from anything I could imagine, from the free and loving vibe of San Francisco.

There was no laptop then, no desktop (for me), no Google. All I had was the library and any place I could buy a newspaper.

I remember clipping every article and bit of information about it, a whole expandable file full. It must have gotten lost before or after I moved out of my mom's because it's been missing for over 35 years.

In the 40 years since the tragedy in Guyana, I have read many books on the subject, seen quite a few documentaries on the topic, even seen television shows and movies about it.

I have also discovered too many websites to list, but this one is my favorite because it's the most comprehensive of all that I've found and is a dynamite gateway for anyone who wants to learn more about the history of the Peoples Temple and all that is currently know about what led up to the Jonestown massacre: Alternative Considerations of Jonestown & Peoples Temple.

My prayers for everyone still living who is affected by the ugliness that became Jonestown.

My prayers...

842.

Happy Friday the 13th folks!

I hope everyone is somewhere safe. And lucky. 😉

Any readers superstitious?

Yes? No? Maybe?

I am and I'm not. Most things "superstitious" are funny and interesting to me. I don't believe in them per se, but the history and people who do believe in them fascinate me.

Friday the 13th is thought of as an unlucky day in some quaint villages. Every Friday the 13th, which happens at least once a year. Some years have two. Some even have three. 😱

Click on the link for more info: When is Friday the 13th?

Do we know why Friday the 13th is considered unlucky?  😐

Let's check it out...

I like this one: Why is Friday the 13th unlucky?

And this one: Why is Friday 13th considered unlucky?

Superstitions, old wives tales, myths... They all started somewhere.

Here are a couple of websites to check out when you have time: Timeless Myths and 55 Weird Superstitions from Around the World.

🌸 🌸 🌸

In other news, it's a chill day for me.

I had planned to do a whole To-Do List full of things today and I woke up in the mood to go out. But I began doing Other Things and before I knew it, I lost the impetus to put on "outside" clothes.

Which is fine. There is nothing urgent that I need to attend to beyond my front porch.

I'm thankful. 🙏🏽

So far, today has been dedicated to: tidying up inside and out, listening to the telly, online crossword puzzles, texting with my neighbor, talking with a potential new suitor, visiting with Baby Bliss and her fiancé, eating, and watching the sky go from sunny and blue to white cloud cover.

I've also been playing on Glidden's website, picking out cool paint shades and virtually painting my (new) bedroom.

Which brings me to my latest challenge.

I have officially moved into Baby Bliss' old bedroom. She's taken bunches of her stuff already but much more remains in the closet and dresser drawers.

Some stuff (curtains, throw rug, art work) has been removed and replaced. The curtains are now white with purple flowers (and green stems). The current dressers (two) are a match for the curtains.

There are still things to be removed from the walls but I'm stalling because those walls need painting. But summer isn't the best time to paint where I live because of high humidity.

Sooooo looks like the painting will commence around... October.

Can I wait that long? 😟🤔🙄😬😶

Did I ever mention that I've only painted twice in my life? The first time was eight or nine years ago, helping a friend who had just moved to a new apartment. It was fun.

The second time I painted was here, February or March of 2017. Just a small panel, maybe 40 inches wide by seven or eight feet high. It's the wall as you walk into my (new) bedroom. After several years of Baby Bliss walking in and out of that room, the wall had gotten a bit dingy.

 What I didn't know when I went to buy the paint is that every shade of white isn't the same. Some are "white-ish". 😄 It didn't matter to me because I was only painting that small stand-alone section.

Surprised by how much fun I had painting in my own place (and the amount of paint leftover), I began looking for other areas to cover. One of them was the small section of wall next to my front door.

After that it was baseboards and other (small) areas that needed covering. Eventually I used most of the quart and began thinking about perhaps adding color to one of the walls in my (old) bedroom. Then I realized I didn't want to move furniture 😐 and the fantasy faded.  😝

Well folks, I should find outside clothes to put on. The sun has reappeared and I have a lunch invitation from my favorite neighbor. She's gonna make me a burger any way I want it. 🍔😋

Nothing like good neighbors to help make life special. 😁

More later y'all.

In the mean time, don't walk under any ladders today!  😆