794.

Good morning and Happy Friday y'all!

It's another day of emotional overload for me. It's definitely a confluence of several things: my feelings about what happened between the Hunk and I, the current Mercury retrograde, whatever hormonal phase I'm in right now due to my menstrual cycle and peri-menopause...

When I woke up, I felt fine. I've had a busy day talking to friends, doing laundry, washing dishes, fixing and eating lunch. It's only been in the past hour or two that I've begun to feel like I don't want to see or talk to anyone.

I went out to sweep my porch about 20 minutes ago and a hummingbird flew up to me, inches from my face. It looked at me, fluttered it's wings at hyper-speed for a few seconds, then flew back the way it had come.

Shocked and delighted, I immediately thought of the Hunk and burst into tears. 😟 One of the evenings we sat intertwined on his front steps, we observed and talked about all the hummingbirds flitting about in his yard and his neighbor's yard across the street.

I've lived here five years and while I have seen a few hummingbirds from a distance in the past several months (a downstairs neighbor one building over has a bird feeder in her yard), this is the first time in my life that I've had a personal visit from a hummingbird.

Blessed be!

Tears streaming, I googled the hummingbird totem and was immediately comforted by what I read.

If any of you want to know what it was, it's here: Hummingbird Animal Totem and Symbolic Hummingbird Meanings and here: Hummingbird Medicine (I love this one. 💕)

Speaking of Mercury retrograde, I know some of you are wondering if any of the exes have come calling.

Of course they have.  😎

One guy (who I won't name but who's been mentioned more times than any other guy I've dated over the years) contacted me online asking if he could call me. Short story: the answer was no.

Another guy -- let's call him the Jock -- (who I had one date with last year and didn't care to see again and who's been asking me off and on for another date for a year) invited me out last weekend. I went because I'd been inside all week and wanted to get out.

It wasn't what I'd call a date. He was out of town for an event and visiting family. I drove up Friday afternoon, hung out with him until late afternoon, met his grandma (a sweetheart) and mom (a pistol and a lot of fun), hung out with him and his mom that evening, slept on his sofa overnight, and headed back home before noon the next day.

There was a Goodwill up the street from where we stayed. Of course I had to make a pit stop on my way home. Two hours later, I left with a skirted bikini bottom in navy blue.

All in all, it was a pleasant enough distraction.

So now, a week later, homeboy is still calling and texting me. I'm not sure what his end game is but my bad for hanging out with dude.

Yes, yes, yes, it is true that I am a woman with a certain je ne sais quoi. And I know it makes me irresistible to a certain segment of the population. 😘

However, nothing remotely romantic happened between the Jock and I. We talked, laughed, ate, went to a social event (where about 95 percent of my time was spent with his momma because he was otherwise engaged), and slept in the same room.

He did bring up the fact that he'd recently retired from his second job and was contemplating retiring this year (a year early) from his decades-long career in sports. He also casually (?) mentioned that he could expect a rather hefty monthly income in retirement due to a canny investment made early in his career.

Ummm... Okay.

I have a rule about discussing money with people, their money or mine: I don't, unless it is absolutely necessary. With a few rare exceptions, I stick to this rule. There are friends who have known me for decades, know nothing about my finances, and never will.

The Jock's revelations made me uncomfortable. One, because I don't need to know anything about his money. Two, because I wasn't sure why he told me.

My guess is that it was bait of some sort.

Although I sometimes joke with my family that my next marriage will be for money (because I have always married for love), I am not and will never be the much-maligned gold digger.

True, my next partner will be a generous man of means. 😉 But there has to be so much more than that. Any man who would woo me using his money, influence, or acquaintances is a man who believes one or more of those things is the best he can offer me.

And sadly, if he believes it, it is so. 😔

No thank you.

My man and I will be good to and for each other, madly in love, best friends, incredible lovers, and compatible in all the ways that will make our relationship Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious.  😍😍😍

Seriously.

Any who folks, this post has taken way too long to write. I've taken a lunch break, laundry breaks, bathroom breaks... 

I think I need a nap. 

I also have an offer of a date at 7 with a guy I've gone out with before. He knows we're not each other's type. He just wants someone to hang out with tonight. 

He's cool so we'll see. 😄