2 be Bliss, as I dance along the road to Nirvana...

Mortality... Two recent family deaths. Reminders that I need to enjoy every day as much as possible. Reminders that some things on my to-do list have rolled over to the next day's list too many times. A few of them are things I want to do before I return to the dust. With those thoughts in mind, next year my daughter and I will tour Europe. Definitely France and Italy. The UK may be on the list as well because a branch of our family tree hails from Scotland. Likely a stop in Switzerland because it borders France and Italy, so why not. Weather will dictate time of year. I prefer warm weather and sunshine. So does she. This will be one of a few vacations where beach time is not a priority.  :) We'll focus on food, fun, meeting new friends along the way. There will be lots of walking, train rides, sleeping in hostels and pensions . Research has been ongoing for a few years. (Thanks Joseph Rosendo and Rick Steves!) Something wonderful to look forward to. Am...

Dreams from last week... Earlier in the week, I dreamed I was home, in the apartment building I grew up in. I was spraying air freshener in the hallway. Then I got the notion to freshen the air in the laundry room. As I descended the stairs, I passed several people who were heading up. Closer to the laundry room, I passed a couple. We exchanged pleasantries. I entered the laundry room, can of spray ready. To my surprise, the laundry room was occupied by an unexpected guest. It was a white monkey, a gibbon. I stood transfixed as I watched it walk across the room and hang something wet across a wooden clothes drying rack. When I began to spray the air, it gave me a look and began screeching, as if I'd interrupted something important. Then it scurried out of the room through a sort of hidden doorway. I headed back upstairs and came across the couple I'd seen earlier. When I asked them if they knew about the monkey, they laughed. The woman told me there...

A couple of weeks ago I reached out to a guy I previously dated, to feel him out for what I thought might be a mutually agreeable relationship. Not dating because we've done that already and it didn't work for us. He and I had usually enjoyed good conversations in the past and I missed talking to him, wondered how he was doing. We've hung out in the past few weeks. One day he brought up marriage during a conversation, as in asking me to marry him. I thought he was joking, because he knew as well as I did the pitfalls we'd encountered while dating. Although we were strongly attracted to each other in many ways, our ideas about how to sustain a healthy romantic relationship weren't in alignment. In subsequent conversations, he brought up marriage again and again. A few times I laughed and changed the subject or joked with him about it. Then I realized he might not be joking and I became uncomfortable. I also realized that something my mama said once ab...

Reminders brought to the forefront in the past several days: - Maturity is... subjective. As is humor. - False familiarity can never be a substitute for the real thing. - Finding a suitable long-term companion can be comparable to finding a good contractor for a property re-model. *** Mr. Bliss was a one-of-a-kind guy. I understand that it's not possible to duplicate the relationship we had. Nor do I want to. I am no longer the person I was in that relationship. For all the differences Mr. Bliss and I had, we meshed very well. Except when we didn't. But we managed to work things out because as corny as it sounds, our connection was magical. I'm not sure if the magic gave us the power to make it work or if we created the power to work it out because of the magic. Before Mr. Bliss, I dated a lot. Some guys got one date. Some got several. There were a few long-term relationships, a few engagements, a few marriages. Of course each man had something about ...

Late Thursday evening, Baby Bliss and I were out for a food run when something amazing happened:  a star fell over the lake. I felt excited. Special. Happy. Like rainbows and humming birds, falling stars are on my list of Rarely Seen Favorites. (This was the second falling star I could remember seeing in my life.) Thank you God for the unexpected gift. Amen.

Dreams... I love my dreams. They're very vivid, very detailed. Even when they're frightening, the cinema-like scenery and events sometimes make me wish I could sleep all day. Since July 28, I've had more than a few dreams with Mr. Bliss in them. They weren't necessarily about him but he was present. My most recent dream in which he appeared was a few nights ago. We were in a small kitchen (I think) with our son. Our son was sitting at a small square table in the middle of the room. I was sitting at the table as well. Mr. Bliss (who it seems had been dead in the dream but was now alive) was standing near the table. He told my son that he (Mr. Bliss) heard my son had a baby and asked if he (Mr. Bliss) could see it. My son said yes, he did have a baby but he and the mother had gotten into a disagreement, he hadn't talked to her in a while, and he didn't know where the baby was. That's all I can recall at the moment... **** My Monday morn...