542.

Mortality...

Two recent family deaths.

Reminders that I need to enjoy every day as much as possible.

Reminders that some things on my to-do list have rolled over to the next day's list too many times. A few of them are things I want to do before I return to the dust.

With those thoughts in mind, next year my daughter and I will tour Europe. Definitely France and Italy. The UK may be on the list as well because a branch of our family tree hails from Scotland.

Likely a stop in Switzerland because it borders France and Italy, so why not.

Weather will dictate time of year. I prefer warm weather and sunshine. So does she.

This will be one of a few vacations where beach time is not a priority.  :)

We'll focus on food, fun, meeting new friends along the way.

There will be lots of walking, train rides, sleeping in hostels and pensions.

Research has been ongoing for a few years. (Thanks Joseph Rosendo and Rick Steves!)

Something wonderful to look forward to.

Amen.

541.

Dreams from last week...


Earlier in the week, I dreamed I was home, in the apartment building I grew up in.

I was spraying air freshener in the hallway.

Then I got the notion to freshen the air in the laundry room.

As I descended the stairs, I passed several people who were heading up.

Closer to the laundry room, I passed a couple. We exchanged pleasantries.

I entered the laundry room, can of spray ready.

To my surprise, the laundry room was occupied by an unexpected guest.

It was a white monkey, a gibbon.

I stood transfixed as I watched it walk across the room and hang something wet across a wooden clothes drying rack.

When I began to spray the air, it gave me a look and began screeching, as if I'd interrupted something important.

Then it scurried out of the room through a sort of hidden doorway.

I headed back upstairs and came across the couple I'd seen earlier.

When I asked them if they knew about the monkey, they laughed. The woman told me there was a Volkswagen parked in one of the laundry rooms in a building down the street.

***

A morning later in the week:

Upon waking, I remembered fragments of at least three separate dreams.

The first:

I was outside with a woman. We were standing near the old fashioned train depot in my town. Ahead of us, we saw a woman wearing a short skirt, a short rabbit fur jacket, and knee high boots.

When the woman ahead of us turned to face us, I saw it was my good friend W. She was smiling, as she usually is in waking life. She looked happy and beautiful. I was very happy to see her.


The second:

Baby Bliss and I were on some kind of weird safari. There was no car, just she and I, and a mostly invisible guide.

We were running from a lion. Terrified, I was leading the way. Baby Bliss, wielding a sword, brought up the rear.

Glancing over my shoulder in fear, I saw the lion gaining on us. I thought we were going to be attacked. Then I noticed the animals running with us.

With several precise movements, Baby Bliss chopped up a few of the running animals.

We continued to run. The lion stopped, presumably to snack on the newly dead. I didn't look back.

The scene shifted.

Baby Bliss and I were in a large room in an aerie that was screened in on all sides.

She exited the room. I saw the lion coming. Somehow he got into the room I was in.


The third:

I was in a room at someone's house with Mr. Bliss' mama. I think we were out of town. She was crying. I was struggling not to. It seemed we had just heard that Mr. Bliss died.

She wanted to head back home (my hometown, where she still lives) so I agreed to take her.

My driving skill was off. I had trouble staying on my side of the two-lane road. Finally I drove us down the outside basement stairs of a church, into their party room.

Outside in the garden there was an event in progress. A dinner of some sort, for a local charity or something similar.

I walked over to a young lady in a motorized chair, asked her if she knew so-and-so. The young lady said no, she didn't.

There was lots of food. I knew we had to leave but seeing all the food made me hungry.

There was more but I don't remember the rest.

540.

A couple of weeks ago I reached out to a guy I previously dated, to feel him out for what I thought might be a mutually agreeable relationship.

Not dating because we've done that already and it didn't work for us.

He and I had usually enjoyed good conversations in the past and I missed talking to him, wondered how he was doing.

We've hung out in the past few weeks.

One day he brought up marriage during a conversation, as in asking me to marry him.

I thought he was joking, because he knew as well as I did the pitfalls we'd encountered while dating. Although we were strongly attracted to each other in many ways, our ideas about how to sustain a healthy romantic relationship weren't in alignment.

In subsequent conversations, he brought up marriage again and again. A few times I laughed and changed the subject or joked with him about it. Then I realized he might not be joking and I became uncomfortable.

I also realized that something my mama said once about exes was true in this case: you can't be friends with them.

I'm not sure if she meant me specifically or just folk in general.

Sometimes we can be friends with exes but maybe I should have known better with him.

Any way, last night he and I made plans to hang out tonight.

Something felt off when I woke up this morning and today I decided I needed to stop this train before it wrecked.

It was done by text. (Which might sound rude but I did call him and he didn't answer. Instead he initiated a conversation in text so I assumed he was busy and unable to talk.)

At first I thought about having a face-to-face with him about his matrimonial intentions, to gently remind him of why we would not be eloping in this lifetime, and discuss the possibilities of continuing a genuine friendship based on our shared interests.

However, he's not the type for those kinds of interactions. He thinks it's "drama", one of the opinions we differ on. So I let it play out in text because I knew it had to be done today.

I believe what allowed me to understand how moving back into a "situation" with the gentleman could lead to me committing a grievous faux pas was brought about by something discussed at a spiritual gathering I went to earlier this week.

What God reminded me of during the opening meditation (and has time-released into my brain over the past few days by way of all manner of reminders -- dreams, online posts, reading daily inspirations, my horoscopes, etc.) is that it doesn't serve me well to go back to the past for someone or some thing that I've already experienced as not suitable for me.

Or the flip side: Do so at my own peril.

If I expect to move forward into that which will work well for me, why delay my journey by going back for something I "dropped" that I said I didn't want any way?

Was I subconsciously attempting to rekindle a flame with this man that was (truthfully) nothing but ashes? Was part of me hoping he'd changed in ways that would allow us to go where I wanted us to go, back when he could make me giggle like a schoolgirl?

Or was I just hoping to retreat into something comfortable in its familiarity albeit potentially unhealthy for both parties?

Part of me feels that we should return to the past sometimes, if only to be reminded of why we couldn't wait to make our escape into now, the future.

Perhaps it should only be a metaphorical return, a written re-hashing of events; a cautionary tale shared with our junior sisters and brothers who contemplate going back to the ex after nights of drunken revelry at neighborhood pubs.

Which brings me to questions:

1. As we journey along our paths, should we take time to explore the things that catch our eye on the sidelines? If yes, how often? Or should we only partake of what is directly in our paths?

2. Do some things have expiration dates?

For example, if I take two months (instead of two weeks) to enjoy a beach vacation, will I miss out on Something Else I desired? Or will that Something Else return to my orbit at some point in time, like Halley's Comet? (Mr. Bliss did...)

3. Does God give bonus points for do-good/feel-good stuff like volunteering for charities, paying it forward, etc.?

4. If we do get bonus points, do they move us toward our "goals" (also known as "prayers", "wishes", "hopes", "dreams", "aspirations"...) any faster or nah?

5. Does it really matter?


Not that I lose sleep over these questions but they do boggle my mind on occasion...

One topic we discussed at our gathering the other night was making life choices based on what is good and right.

We are all co-creators of the collective consciousness. I know my choices create ripples that eventually find their way back to me. I've seen it in my life too many times to count.

I guess the real question is "Can you handle it?"

Meaning what ever I do (or don't), am I willing to deal with the consequences, no matter what they are?

If the answer is no, I need to re-think it.

I must, if I want my life to move forward with sincerity.

Amen.

539.

Reminders brought to the forefront in the past several days:

- Maturity is... subjective. As is humor.

- False familiarity can never be a substitute for the real thing.

- Finding a suitable long-term companion can be comparable to finding a good contractor for a property re-model.

***

Mr. Bliss was a one-of-a-kind guy. I understand that it's not possible to duplicate the relationship we had. Nor do I want to. I am no longer the person I was in that relationship.

For all the differences Mr. Bliss and I had, we meshed very well. Except when we didn't. But we managed to work things out because as corny as it sounds, our connection was magical.

I'm not sure if the magic gave us the power to make it work or if we created the power to work it out because of the magic.

Before Mr. Bliss, I dated a lot. Some guys got one date. Some got several. There were a few long-term relationships, a few engagements, a few marriages.

Of course each man had something about him that attracted me. Some had several traits I found endearing. A few had that somethin' somethin' that got me to the altar.

Mr. Bliss was the Total Package. For me.

The Magic was evident from the moment we met.

Seriously.

I had been at work for about an hour. It was turning out to be a bad night and I'd decided to leave.  Heading to change back into my street clothes, I walked past Mr. Bliss. He called out to me. Before I turned to see his face, I was more than annoyed at the perceived delay. But I had a reputation for being the "nicest girl" in the place, so I stopped.

I turned to look at him and I was smitten.

His smile was beautiful and genuine; so open. He was also handsome. Nicely dressed too.

We had two casual dates soon after but he was kinda slow at making his intentions known and I began dating someone else. The next year that someone else and I got pregnant, married, and moved almost 3,000 miles away.

Two years later, I left that husband and moved back to my hometown with my daughter.

In a seemingly random event, almost three years to the day we'd first met, Mr. Bliss and I crossed paths at a mall. From there, we slowly began the pas de deux that would become our shared life.

Our relationship was multi-faceted in ways I'd never experienced. It was fun and exciting, challenging and frustrating, loving and nurturing.

God had sent me the man who would help me realize who I was born to be.

Looking back from today, I know that my life with him was an adventure, an eye-opening education.

Every minute we shared was worth everything we gave to make it what it was: an amazing life of love, in every way we could express it to each other.

With eternal gratitude, I wish my darling a peaceful rest, until we meet again and resume our story.

***

In the mean time, life continues to move forward. Sometimes slowly.

I'm continuing to move with the flow.

Sometimes the flow moves me to make the acquaintance of a man who piques my interest(s), maybe plucks a heart string or two.

True to my nature, it might be for a few hours, a few days, a few months. It all depends.

In spite of all things feeling personal when it comes to romance, dating, and possible courtship, I daily remind myself not to take things personally.

We are all dealing with our own issues, what ever they are. The way we deal with people is generally a reflection of who we are, not who (we think) they are.

Mr. Bliss let me be who I was and I blossomed. I know that I, too, must be willing to give this allowance if I am to share an authentic life with He Who Waits to Meet Me.


What I affirm:

-  There exists a man somewhere in the world who loves enough to accept me as I am but will always encourage me to be my best. I love enough to do the same for him.

- He and I will love each other enough to work out the details because we both understand what it takes to sustain a love that makes our hearts sing.

- When our lives are ready, he and I shall meet in the field "beyond ideas of wrongdoing and right doing", and all will be well.

Amen.

538.

Late Thursday evening, Baby Bliss and I were out for a food run when something amazing happened:  a star fell over the lake.

I felt excited.

Special.

Happy.

Like rainbows and humming birds, falling stars are on my list of Rarely Seen Favorites. (This was the second falling star I could remember seeing in my life.)

Thank you God for the unexpected gift.

Amen.

537.

Dreams...

I love my dreams. They're very vivid, very detailed. Even when they're frightening, the cinema-like scenery and events sometimes make me wish I could sleep all day.

Since July 28, I've had more than a few dreams with Mr. Bliss in them. They weren't necessarily about him but he was present.

My most recent dream in which he appeared was a few nights ago.

We were in a small kitchen (I think) with our son. Our son was sitting at a small square table in the middle of the room. I was sitting at the table as well.

Mr. Bliss (who it seems had been dead in the dream but was now alive) was standing near the table. He told my son that he (Mr. Bliss) heard my son had a baby and asked if he (Mr. Bliss) could see it.

My son said yes, he did have a baby but he and the mother had gotten into a disagreement, he hadn't talked to her in a while, and he didn't know where the baby was.

That's all I can recall at the moment...

****

My Monday morning dream was a bit scary.

I had met a guy online who somehow found me in real life. I was at a family member's house and the guy showed up at the door. He said he knew me so my family member let him in.

The guy pulled out a small photo album and proceeded to show me photos of his family. Then he wanted to know when we could have our first date.

I think I left him sitting on the sofa talking to a relative in the living room while I went into the kitchen to think about the stalker-ishness of the situation.

A female relative was in the kitchen. There were slices of cake on plates on the table. I sat down, grabbed a fork, and began tasting. She and I ate cake as we discussed the implications me heading home with an uninvited guest possibly following.

The dream morphed into a different dream, one which is juuuust beyond my mental grasp right now...

Speaking of online dating, it's back to that for me. Not that I'm against dating people I meet in real time. It's just that online dating gives me a framework to operate from, before the first date.

It also helps to decide if there is to be a first date.

Assuming that the person in consideration is being truthful in his profile, I prefer having that advance knowledge of how well we might possibly get along.

With someone I meet in, say, the supermarket parking lot, there's a lot more left to chance and "chemistry".

If used properly, I think online dating can be a time-saving tool for everyone concerned.

After all, isn't it what we want, to cut to the chase in matters of the heart? To move from "like" to "lust" to "love" in record time, to run swiftly into the arms of the "happily ever after" every little girl dreams of from the time she hears her first fairy tale?

Some of us have already been blessed enough to get Mr or Miss Right in our lifetime.

Some are still looking.

As I've stated before, it's a numbers game. And we can't play the game if we don't get in the game. No free throws allowed from the bench!

We must be open to dating the person from the parking lot, the guy vacuuming his mats at the car wash, the one we meet on KissMeStupid.com, and...

Because the more frogs we kiss, the closer we get to finding our very own Sweet Toad.

Doesn't that sound like the ultimate in Fun and Frolic?

May the odds be ever in our favor.

536.

On another note, I dreamed about Mr. Bliss a few days ago.

Nothing spectacular. We were sitting in a kitchen. His mom's I think. She was there, angry and frowning. I think she was upset because Mr. Bliss and I had just gotten married. She was introducing me to an older man, saying I was Mr. Bliss's "friend".

My new hubby and I looked at each other and laughed.

There was a lot more to the dream but I don't remember any of it.

I awoke feeling comforted, happy to see Mr. Bliss again in my dreams because it had been a while.

I'm so thankful that of all the dreams I've had of him since he transitioned, with the exception of maybe two, all the dreams have been good ones.

Amen.

535.

Over the past few days, I've been experiencing sensations of... vibration.

In my bedroom, the kitchen, the bathroom, the living room -- I feel vibration. Not swaying, not spinning, not tilting. Just vibration.

This morning we had a thunderstorm in the wee hours.

I think I had been asleep for a short while. I'm not sure because I don't know what time the storm came.

What I know is that my hands and arms began to feel... energetic.

As a level II Reiki practitioner, the energy feeling wasn't anything new. But the intensity was. It overwhelmed me. I tried going back to sleep several times but each time I was awakened by the energy.

The energy of the storm, keeping me awake...  It felt pushy, insistent, invasive.

I'm not sure why I felt like it was the precursor to something negative but I did. I called my daughter to make sure she was okay. She said she was.

By the time I was hanging up from the call, the intensity had become so overwhelming, so tiring that I began to cry.

Thankfully my sweetie was here. I think what helped was me being able to discharge some of the energy by giving him an impromptu Reiki session.

It felt strange, sharing Reiki while crying. I'm not sure I should have but it was what came to mind so it's what I did.

Life moves ever forward in ways I sometimes don't understand.

But I'm still here so it's all good.

I'm thankful.

Amen.

.

534.

Never did get that nap.

I did lay down, right here on the living room floor, couch cushions arranged just so.

But the phone rang. It was my beau, calling with words of love and allure that snatched me away from any thoughts of snoozing.

After we said goodbye, I got up and dressed for my evening walk.

Today I walked with the consciousness of walking correctly.

The outcome: awareness definitely assisted improvement.

I was able to walk for 20 minutes at a brisk pace with good form. (That's 10 minutes less than usual because when I started out, the thunder and lightening were threatening to invite rain.)

What I like most and least about my walk every day is the small lake at our local park.

The best thing about the park is the lake, the animals that live in and around it, the path that winds around it.

The worst is having to navigate all the duck/duck/goose poop the critters drop at random spots along the path.

*sigh*

The thought of stepping in anything squishy -- barefoot or while wearing shoes -- is one of those things that makes me gag.

As much as I don't want to see the poop, I know the poopers aren't going anywhere But I don't want to walk without including the park so I guess I'll be side-stepping droppings for the duration.

And now I must be getting to bed. It's been a long day and I'm... tired. (I almost said "pooped"...)

Also, the beau invited me to breakfast and I should be there at 10 a.m.  (I love the way he asks me out, how courtly his words are, how he never assumes I can or will go...)

I'll need to get up by 8 a.m. if I want to be on time without rushing.

Good night folks.

Sweet dreams to all who're headed for bedtime...

533.

The juicing seminar was my excuse for missing my evening walk yesterday.

And God punished me by allowing me to drink that gag-inducing juice.

*chuckle*

However it might have been for the best.

Even though I've been walking approximately 46 years, I think I might be walking wrong somehow.

I'm not feeling it in my legs or thighs. I'm feeling it right where my foot joins my leg, on top.

Yesterday morning I switched up my walking style and did feel a bit of resistance in the backs of my thighs but not for long. I couldn't manage to maintain that walking style or method or whatever it is.

Grrrrr!

Maybe I need someone in the know to spot me?

I'll do some research online...

I still plan to walk this evening. I must keep the momentum going!

But right now, I need a nap.

Yesterday's date ran into the wee hours of this morning (as you already know if you've been reading this blog) and I'm beat.

As exhilarating and wonderful as these marathon dates have been, they're exhausting.

If I have no reason to get up early the next day, it's not so bad.

This morning I had an early appointment that I couldn't be late for. My old friend Anxiety visited and woke me about an hour before I needed to get up.

Shameless hussy!

I only managed to get 3-4 hours of sleep.

Now I'm sitting here hungry and nodding, a bad combination but totally my fault because if I had gotten up when I woke up, I would have had time to make a smoothie.

Lazy me. I laid there and dozed for another 30 minutes.

Currently, I'm on the couch fighting nods and knowing they'll win in the end. So why not just set an alarm for an hour, maybe two and give in?

No real reason to say "no".

Time for a snooze y'all!

532.

Good morning!

Guten Morgen!

Доброе утро! (Dobroe utro!)

Bonjour!

Labas rytas!

Доброго ранку! (Dobroho ranku)

Günaydın!

Buen dia!
 

Boker tov!

Yesterday with my beau was fun.

Our picnic was at a nearby park that is situated on one of many arms of a huge lake near my home. The place has gorgeous views. Some angles remind me of  images of Lake Como. Very romantic.

The weather was perfect: sunny and breezy. We had a good hour or two before the rain washed us into the car but that felt perfect too, giving us an opportunity to share good conversation and indulge in our passion for music (he's a musician, I'm an aficionado).

After our picnic, we headed off to a juicing seminar. It was fun and interesting. We both met new people, learned a lot about fruits and veggies, tasted some juice I never want to taste again. (Which he thought was palatable. Interesting...)

The seminar ended. We said our goodbyes to the hostess and other attendees.

I then took him on a tour of the beautiful area I am blessed to call home. It's as far north as you can get in the county before spilling over into the next. Although he grew up in this county, he didn't spend much time in my neck of the woods.

After the tour, we drove to a popular area venue that encompasses shopping, housing, entertainment, eateries, in a park-like atmosphere.

We walked a bit, caught a little of a live music duo, then sat on a bench to eat dessert, laugh, talk, kiss.

*sigh*

We reluctantly parted around 1:45 a.m., with plans to meet again Saturday.

531.

Date # ___________ was wonderful. (I've lost count but I think it's number four. Could be number five though. Or six. Depending.)

The picnic was fun. And romantic. And... blissful.

It rained but we were done by then. Not ready to leave the park but finished eating and had already returned stuff to the car.

We sat in the car to talk and listen to music.

I love how we feel we can ask each other any question that pops into our heads and feel like we're getting honest answers.

He said we've learned more about each other in the past few weeks than some people do in months.

Mmmmm, yes. I agree.

530.

Yesterday, Baby Bliss and I went out for a day of shopping, lunch, errands.

Nothing major. Just EarthFare, Target, Forever21, Chipotle, Aldi...

All after my morning walk.

Couldn't get my evening walk in yesterday. By the time we got home from our busy day, storm clouds were rolling in right behind us.

Bummer.

But thank you God for today!

As soon as I drink my morning smoothie, I'm out the door.

And I'm excited about today's plans!

My "new friend" has transitioned into "new beau". We're meeting for a day of shared leisure, starting with buying yummies for a picnic lunch we'll enjoy in a beautiful park nearby.

There's rain in today's forecast but no matter. He said as long as we're together he'll be happy, wet or dry.

Isn't he a sweetie?

I know it will be a long day. It always is with us.

Which brings me to this past weekend.

We had a date that spanned three days and it didn't involve anything I couldn't repent for in confession without blushing. (Yes, I was raised in the Catholic church.)

Time to get to the blender folks!

And remember:

So get out there and create your stories.

Then start a blog or write a book and share them with the world.

We want to know!

Amen.

529.

Hello, hello, hello world!

Life is peaceful and I'm thankful.

Amen.

Lately I've been walking.

It started last week Thursday, when I saw my neighbor in the post office. She and I have the same shape and are roughly around the same size. Except she looked like she'd lost 15-20 pounds.

When I complimented her and asked what she'd been doing, she said she'd been walking twice a day. I mentioned that I'd been wanting to go but didn't want to go alone. She invited me to walk with her that evening.

I did.

Now I understand what runners mean when they say running is an addiction. It feels so good when I'm walking that I sometimes want to break into a run. Not that it'll happen. Unless someone is chasing me...

Running is just not my thing. For one, I know it's stressful on the knees. And two, I actually injured my knee several years ago when I began running (in short bursts) as part of a workout plan concocted by a church member whose infectious personality drew me (and another female friend from church) into his wicked plan.

In addition to my knee injury, I also hated the itchy thigh syndrome that came with extended walking. I don't know why I didn't Google it. Probably because I blamed myself for having thighs that rubbed. I also thought it had something to do with my detergent not liking my sweat.

Well, I brought up the itchy-thigh incidents to my neighbor on our walk. She said her trainer told her it was from dehydration.

Hmmmm...

As I had been consciously focusing on drinking more water (as in "more than just a glass or two every other day or so"), I am certainly better hydrated now than at any time in my life.

I had also taken water with me on our walk so no chance of drying out along the way.

And I felt like she was correct. (And I came home to research and found very little about it, which means very little to me since the information she'd given me seemed to reveal itself as truth in action.)

I did not get the itchy-thigh that evening nor have I gotten it on any walk since.

Which has been eight walks since last Thursday, averaging two walks a day but skipping Saturday and Sunday. Not specifically because it was the weekend, just because I was busy with my beau. (Stay tuned for a new post with more detail on that subject.)

I've been walking as early in the morning as I can manage and as late in the evening as I dare, taking care to avoid going out when it's too hot or too dark when I set out.

Usually, I make my greenfood smoothie in the morning before I go out. I need the energy. Besides, if I don't get it before I go, I might not be in the mood to do it upon my return.

My Carolina godmom has been trying to get me to juice. I'm not quite there but my smoothies are full of nutrients too and I'm using a blender.

My smoothie recipe (which usually varies only if I run out of an item):

• 1/2 cup water
• kale (organic, morning juice only)
• lemon juice
• slivered almonds
• coconut oil (organic, unrefined)
• 1 large organic green apple
• 1 banana (usually frozen, sometimes fresh)
• 5-6 frozen strawberries (organic)
• 1 ragged tablespoon of Health Force Nutritionals Vitamineral Green

Please know that I don't use precise measurements for most stuff.

1. Grab a hand full of kale leaves, rinse them well, then add to the water.
2. Blend until water is green and no pieces of kale are visible. This produces kale juice and pulp.
3. Strain juice, rinse blender, return strained juice to blender.
4. Peel, core, cut apple. Slice into blender. (Or onto a plate if that works better, then add to blender.)
5. Add lemon juice, slivered almonds, coconut oil (I just pour some in... probably 2 teaspoons).
6. I always add the frozen fruit next-to-last because my blender is a Bullet-type, with the inverted cup and a lid that has the blades in it. It's easier to blend frozen fruit when it's closest to the blade and the liquid falls down on to it.
7. Blend that all together. 
8. Add in the Vitamineral Green and blend just enough to mix it in.

Doesn't mean I won't ever eat stuff like this again. But everything in moderation, ya know?

528.

Not sure why I woke up around 4 a.m. but here I am, wide awake in my bedroom.

Seemed it would be a lazy Friday chez Bliss but I guess it's my shift.

I went to bed with a headache at 11:30-ish. Thankfully it has disappeared.

Maybe I'll take my pillows and a blanket to the couch. I can watch maybe half a movie before Morpheus lures me back into his arms, the sofa being comfy for a nap if I have enough cushion.

I'd love to resume crocheting the pale green hyperbolic flower I started last week but the hook is size E and the yarn isn't very thick. Translation for those who don't crochet: the stitches are kinda small and I don't feel like straining my eyes.

What I should be doing is drinking lemon water then getting a short workout in.

Hmmm...

Stay tuned y'all.

* * *

Update: finished project.

527.

Thanks to the orderly influence of my new friend, I've been inspired to get around to tackling the overflow of paper, books, pens, folders, etc. that has become my office.

Last night I was on a shredding spree that lasted a few hours.

This morning the spree resumed but only for a few minutes.

In a pile of "what do I do with this stuff", I came across two envelopes that had been returned to me because the addressees had moved.

When I saw the envelopes, I immediately knew what was in each: programs from Mr. Bliss's memorial service.

The mail had been returned and I knew I'd tried to mail to those specific people more than once so I decided to shred the envelopes and keep the programs.

I intended to just put the programs aside but I couldn't. I re-read one in its entirety. It wasn't long. I kept it short and to the point because we assumed that only people who knew Mr. Bliss would attend and his life had spoken for itself. Everyone who met him loved him. For the most part, he was that kind of guy.

And just as I knew it would, a wave of sadness engulfed me. I rolled with it and the memories it brought back of our life together, his illness, my final minutes with his body at the crematorium.

I let the tears flow until they stopped then I got up from the floor in front of the shredder and headed for other chores.

My mind touched on other topics as I inspected the kitchen to make sure my daughter and her friend had indeed cleaned up (as they had promised) after their late-night cooking caper the night before. With the exception of a few minor touch-ups, my labor wasn't necessary.

I moved a few trash bags and recycle items outside and noticed the shredded paper decorating the porch.

It wouldn't be neighborly of me to have my confetti blowing about the neighborhood so I grabbed my broom.

While I was sweeping, I realized that despite all the tears I've shed in the past two years, I've been happy too. And that made me happy because I know Mr. Bliss wants me to be happy.

As I sit here typing these words, I'm crying once again. Not because I'm sad, just because the tears have returned. I'm also smiling because I'm listening to what has become my new theme song. And though Mr. Bliss didn't live to hear this song, I know he's listening and loving it from what ever realm he now exists in.

In retrospect, he was the happiest person I've ever known; also one of the wisest. Every day I realize how much I learned about life from him.

Thank you God for bringing us together.

In gratitude I realize I can be happy because the love and laughter Mr. Bliss shared with me lives on, in me and through me.

In gratitude, I'm happy to share my smiles, my laughter, my love with the world.

I've seen many homemade versions of this song and each one makes me happy to see how it's bringing the world together.

And with love, I say go sing along with Pharrell so you can get "Happy" too.

Amen.

526.

Three all-day dates in eight days...

Discovery: Eskimo kisses are exquisite.

Which brings to mind this favorite:  Kissing - Bliss.

525.

Saturday... 

524.

Happy Saturday everyone!

My day out starts fairly early, with an excursion that will likely last into the wee hours.

It promises to be full of excitement and... temptation.

Not in massive quantities, I hope.

A lady can only protest so much...

There might be photos later.

Safe travels y'all!

523.

Every heart sings a song, incomplete,
until another heart whispers back.
Those who wish to sing always find a song.
At the touch of a lover, everyone becomes a poet.

- Plato

522.

I hope everyone who observes the Memorial Day holiday had a good weekend.

I did.

My weekend was so good that I have to share a secret: thus far, it was the best holiday weekend I've had since Mr. Bliss passed away.

Not that I didn't miss him this past weekend. I did. And I cried a little. (Mr. Bliss did love his holidays. He was also Air Force.)

But God always sends angels when I need them and I am ever thankful.

Saturday was book club with my sistas. It's always fun and interesting with those ladies. Even if one hasn't read the featured book, there is still a good meal to enjoy, personal tidbits to share, the pleasure of enjoying sisterly company.

We ladies arrived here from a diverse range of backgrounds.

A few of us hail from out west, some from up north. One is from the mid-west, one from further south of this southern region we all currently call home. Conversations are sprinkled with accents and colloquialisms that sometimes need explanation.

Our ages range from "over 40" to "60 plus".

Some of us are retired. One cares for a relative while studying for an advanced degree. Some work from home. One has a job she loves and it's such a cool place to work that club members sometimes go to work with her. One is a singer with a beautiful voice. Another member is a life coach.

Once a month we come together for the official book club meeting.

Other times during the month we gather for special activities: sporting events, wine tastings, festivals...

These ladies are my family. The mothers/aunts/sisters who have been there for me when I've needed them and I love them.

Sunday evening, a few of us book club ladies met up for an evening of live music at a local venue. One of us brought a male friend. He was a welcome addition of masculine energy to our feminine flow.

The gentleman and our sister who invited him are both musicians. Between the two of them, they knew every other musician in the joint. It made for an interesting mix of folk stopping by our table to say hello.

It was a much-needed evening out. Laughter, chatter, drinks (ginger ale for me), food, friends, music, dancing.

Perfect.

When the other ladies left, I stayed to hang with our gentleman friend. He turned out to be quite the conversationalist. We had such a good vibe going that a few minutes to closing, the owner took one look at us and told us to stay as long as we wanted.

Later, the owner engaged my new friend and I in a round of discussions that covered everything from ancestry to literature to world travel.

We stayed a full hour past official closing time.

I think I made it home before 4 a.m.

Monday was mmmm... divine.

To make a super long story short:

My new friend invited me to attend a BBQ with him. He took his guitar. Along with the other guests, I was treated to a live concert that blew me away.

Phenomenal!

He and I left the BBQ around 8:30 p.m. and headed to an all-night spot in town, where we hung out until the wee hours.

Again.

I definitely didn't make it home before 4 a.m. but it was before dawn...

521.

Today was such a beautiful day. It was sunny and just cool enough, breezy and idyllic. At least it was here.

How was it at your location?

My daughter and I went out briefly, to run an errand. But mostly we lounged on the sun-soaked living room floor and talked.

We talked about music, her friends, a party she's going to soon, a once-in-a-lifetime vacation I was invited to share, and life in general.

These are the kinds of days I love.

Amen.

On a more obscure note, there's a guy on the dating site who has been visiting my profile at least once a week for at least several weeks.

He never leaves a note.

He's not my type for a romantic relationship but I'm friendly and my profile does say I'm looking for friends.

Not sure what his deal is but I can't help but wonder why he visits so often.

Out of curiosity, I sent him a friendly note telling him I know he visits periodically but has never said hello. I asked him if he's looking for something specific (which I doubt is me), if I remind him of someone, or if it's something else.

I don't expect a response but I want him to know that I'm aware.

.

520.

A busy week ahead chez Bliss, in business as well as pleasure. Lucky for me, it includes pleasurable business.

My daughter and I spent last evening with a neighbor who has become family. We always share food, laughter, and love at her house.

Thank you God for those who embrace us with appreciation and warmth. With their help, we maintain the healthy glow that only Love and Light can generate. May we inhale it with zeal, to strengthen our existence; may we share with others when they are in need.

Several events over the weekend reminded me of why I try to remember two things: ears open, mouth shut is wise in many situations. In addition: don't believe everything you think.

I am always thankful for life's sticky notes. They keep me focused.

Bummer that I didn't take the necessary time to remember this morning's dreams. There is tomorrow, if I'm allowed.

And now back to the business of... business!

Good day all.

Amen.



.

519.

Just realized my phone was taking a long time to charge.

Checked it...

No movement on the charge-indicator icon.

The adapter end of the charger is plugged into the phone.

But the pronged end of the charger was not plugged into the power strip.

*sigh*

518.

God always sends advance warning.

Namely: a leak, the sludge, $13.13, the pungency, the contagion.

Duly noted (and thank you!) your Highness.  ;-)


.

517.

Seen today:

516.

I am thankful for my life of peaceful abundance, today and always.

Amen.



.

515.

In spite of attempts by busy bodies in my birth family to cast aspersions into the sunshine of my life, the past week was wonderful.

Last Sunday (May 4), my daughter and I drove down to Florence, SC to meet cousin N., her daughters, and her grandson, for a long lunch. I hadn't seen N. since our grandmother's funeral in 2000. I had never met her daughters or grandson and our children had never met.

Lunch overflowed with food, laughter, reminiscing.

After lunch, the cousins continued on to our hometown for a family birthday celebration.

My daughter and I headed to a four-day vacation on Pleasure Island, at Carolina beach. It was restful, rejuvenating, marvelous. I basked in the heat and sunshine, ate lots of yummy stuff, met interesting folk.

The teenager enjoyed herself too, in her own way. It involved lots of eating, sleeping, and selfies.

This most recent weekend was fantastic as well.

Friday evening, I had a fun and interesting movie/dinner date. We saw "Fed Up", the documentary co-executive produced by Katie Couric. (Excellent information given in the movie but I think it will do better on DVD.)

On Mother's Day, my daughter and I had a fantastic lunch with one of my godmothers.

There was also a weekend-long birthday celebration (for Baby Bliss) with friends.

I have shed many tears since Mr. Bliss made his transition. Every day that I find a reason to smile or laugh is a good day and I remain thankful.

My prayers for health and healing go out to all whose lives lack whatever it is they need to move toward wholeness.

Amen.

514.

Today we've been expecting snow.

They got it, in the big city near us. We're still waiting. Amusing because they're only 10 or 11 miles down the road.

Side note: I know weather doesn't respect illusory boundaries created by humans but I'm always amazed when I see rain when the sun is shining or it's raining on one side of the street and not the other.

Any who, we wait...

On another topic, it's been quite a fun time chez Bliss, watching the winter Olympics with the teenager. She's been inspired to pick up the long board again. *sigh*

She LOVES Shaun White. I'm gonna take her to meet him when she's 18.

One year Shaun White! You've got one year to get ready for my baby girl. I'm chaperoning. *nodding my head*

Back on topic, this winter has been cold. And sometimes sunny. Thankfully there have been a few warm days sprinkled in, warm enough for me to wear my flip flops.

More: we've been talking about going to the beach in spring this year instead of fall. We'll see.

And, I cooked a pot of bean and pasta soup the other day. Added kale. Should be good with cornbread.  :)


.

513.

What the hierophant told me:

  Act nobly and believe in the meaning of what lies before you.


And so I shall.


Amen.


.

512.

The facade lasts only as long as it can be sustained.

So I've learned, so I accept.

No worries...

The Wheel spins faster.

Karma.

Cleansing.

Perspective.

Renewal.

Amen.


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