903.

 Happy Friday everyone.

I hope you are all healthy and safe.

As I said in my previous post, there have been a number of changes chez Bliss.

Yes, details are coming but not today. 🙃

We are knee deep in Swedish death cleaning due to ongoing and upcoming changes. We are purging, gifting, re-gifting, tossing, shredding, and even selling lots and lots of stuff as we prepare. It's mostly me, as Baby Bliss has her own schedule and timeline(s).

As we get closer to summer, the weather gets warmer, and my work schedule slows down, I have more time to get out and socialize.

This week the mom of one of my neighbors is in town. Let's call her NM - Neighbor's Mom. NM and I usually make time to hang out when she's here. She is a Southern Belle, born and raised in the Carolinas, now living further south. When we're together, we have a good time catching up on life while crafting.

She is a Jill of All Trades. She crochets, knits, makes macrame, sews, beads, and more. Her stories of local history are compelling. The happy, funny stories are my favorites. Some of the stories are frightening, some sad. All tales of life in the south from the 50s through the 2000s.

On Tuesday my neighbor took us thrifting, to two local shops. 

We're purging chez Bliss so I'm only looking for summer dresses. They were looking for everything else. I'm a slow thrifter because I need to try on potential purchases. Many of the thrift stores removed their dressing rooms during COVID, which calls for improvisation when trying on clothes. 

The store I shop most often has two mirrors in the back aisle, one on the wall and one mounted on the end of the rack near the wall mirror. To make it easy to try on dresses, I wear my thrift store uniform: leggings, a sports bra under a top that's easy to take off, and a head wrap. 

It's kind of annoying at times because I'm literally out in the open where everyone can see me. Sometimes I get strange looks but usually folks mind their business. Thankfully my "uniform" has saved me from bringing home many beautiful dresses that don't fit me well.

NM and I hung out at my house most of Wednesday, catching up on a few shows while crafting and eating. She has been helping with the Swedish death cleaning by grabbing up a bunch of stuff to take home with her.

Wednesday evening I helped her take a few bags over to her daughter's. We ended the day with a few hours of porch sitting, a beloved Southern pastime.

The weather was beautiful that night, with a breeze that was just cool enough for me not to need a fan. Good company and good conversation.

I returned home feeling rested and grateful for a day well spent. 💓

902. 🥰

 Wow.

I can't believe it's been so long.

How is everyone? 

We are doing well despite a few challenges. But such is life, yes?

Overall, things are going good and I'm thankful. Since my last visit here, there have been so many changes chez Bliss. Things y'all wouldn't believe because some of them have surprised me, She Who Has Seen It All and Then Some. 

Even if all the changes weren't welcome at first sight, opportunities for enlightenment are opportunities for wisdom on the tail end, even if it takes me a while to realize it. Enduring the "now" is essential to moving forward because there is no escaping the "now" while we live and breathe. But don't stay stuck anywhere you aren't being treated well. In the "in between", strategize your next moves.

Which leads me to this:

On a more microscopic level, Baby Bliss and I are actively in the midst of a huge change. I won't detail it right now because although it's a goal I have been manifesting for decades, it could only come to fruition with Baby Bliss' participation. No way I could have known that before she was born but because I have come to accept a life of extraordinary events, I now understand this to be true.

In the mean time, our current stage is most time- and energy-consuming as it requires almost daily action and certainly daily thought and planning. I will be grateful when we get to the "good part" because one can only take so many naps.

With everything else on my to-do list, I'm not sure how much actual blog time I can fit in. But Spirit led me here and it's good to be back. 

Stay tuned folks.

💓

900.

 Hey y'all.

It's been a while, yes? 

Life...

I hope everyone is healthy and safe.

We are.

And busy.

And grateful for all things good and wonderful.

So just popping in to say hello. 

Until next time... ♥️

899.

Hey folks.

I hope everyone is safe and secure as these global healing crises continue.

I'm doing well as is my family. I heard from our William today. He's doing well. Such a sweet young man... Baby Bliss is doing well too. She's over with William, hanging tough with him as he continues healing. 💗

The reason I'm here: I have something to tell y'all. It's good news. Sorta. Kind of. 

A few months ago, before Covid-19 became a pandemic, I won tickets from a local radio station to see a group I've loved since I can remember. 

I was so excited that I cried. 

Then the pandemic...

The show was postponed indefinitely.

Any who, the band: The Rolling Stones.

No idea now when the show will be but I got an email from the radio station when the Stones announced the tour postponement. 

*sigh*

898.

Hello, hello, hello folks!

I pray that everyone is happy, healthy, and safe. 

I'm... managing, thankful for meditation, my therapist, my faith.

Good news: our William has completed the longest and most intense part of his treatment. 🙌🏾

We are all thankful, grateful, ecstatic! 💓

And I thank you all for the prayers, kind thoughts, and positive energy sent as we traveled this long path.

The journey continues, as William is scheduled for scans in a few weeks and more physical therapy as well. 

Please join us in affirming William's continued health and healing. Thank you all in advance.

🌸 🌸 🌸

In other news, I had an epiphany this morning: I will die at age 86. 

A message from the Universe... I'm okay with it. What I don't want to know is how. 

So 33 years to go. Gotta get busy doing more fun stuff. 😁

Amen.

896.

Sometimes we are called to be angels, to bring a bit of heaven to those who would otherwise never experience life's sweetest joys.  💓

 - K. Bliss 

884.

Happy Saturday y'all.

I hope everyone is somewhere safe and in good spirits.

We're doing well here.

The hurricane (Dorian) caused some destruction along the coast of our state and I heard that a tornado spawned by same also touched down south of us.

Our local weather guy said some areas near us got rain but thankfully our local area only experienced cloudy skies and wind.

Today has been chill chez Bliss. Baby Bliss felt awful when she woke up this morning so she called out for the day. I believe she's off tomorrow as well.

Tomorrow shall be a day of fun and family for us. My friend is coming to stay with us for a few days of his vacation.

We have a loose agenda: the mountains, dinner for my birthday (another one!), dinner with grandma and the aunties, hanging out here with Baby Bliss. We'll probably have lunch at my favorite park a few times too.

I'm excited and so is Baby Bliss. It's been many years since they've seen each other.

The weather is forecast to be in the 90s here and 80s in the mountains.

878.

Happy Saturday y'all.

I hope everyone is feeling well and somewhere safe.

I'm doing well.

Nodding and tired but here I am. 😩😄

It's been a long week and now the weekend is here. Hurray!

No special plans for me because last weekend was so busy: a birthday dinner for Baby Bliss, a graduation dinner for another family member, Mother's Day dinner too.

My weekend will be spent getting ready for my upcoming trip.

So much to-do on my list! Packing for sure but also (a)mending (a few dresses), crocheting (a gift for my host and possibly a belt for my dress), measuring and pouring (toiletries so I don't have to take whole 20 and 30 ounce bottles with me).

My friend and I had a two-hour conversation earlier. We rang off about 45 minutes ago. He works overnights so we talked as he worked. He's on the very short list of folk I'll be seeing when I'm home and I'm excited. 💗

It's been six years since we've seen each other in person.

I'm having a bit of a row with my packing list. We can't seem to agree on what attire I'm actually taking with me. Some favorites for sure but there are also new things that should go too.

As well, the dress I originally planned to wear to the quinceañera has a rival. My first choice is a close-fitting evening gown in a deep, rich chocolate. It features a plunging v-neck and tank top style straps, a fitted bodice, and a crocheted spider web overlay that starts right under the breastbone and extends down a few inches.

I've had the dress for several years and worn it three times. (A retirement party, a wedding, and Baby Bliss' birthday dinner several years ago. Two of those events were in 2014.)

My jewelry (a cocktail ring and 2-inch half hoop earrings) is rose gold with faux gemstones.

The "alternate" dress is black. Long and sleek in a fabric I absolutely love. It's sleeveless. I can wear the same jewelry I planned to wear with the brown dress so that's a plus. If I have time, I'll crochet a beaded belt for the dress before I get outta here.

That's all for now folks. I've been awake since 7:30 yesterday morning. Sleep beckons. 😴

More later...

Smooches y'all. 💋💋💋

869.

Good morning and Happy Tuesday y'all. 🙋🏾‍♀️

I hope everyone is somewhere safe and feeling good.

The day dawned sunny and cool in our neighborhood.

I awoke with a start, hearing a strange beeping noise that I thought was the transmitter for daddy's defibrillator. 🙍🏽‍♀️

Never mind that I know  the transmitter is not a monitor. The beeping scared me. In the six years I've lived here, I've never heard that noise before and it seemed to be coming from daddy's room.

I jumped up and ran in. He was already up. When I asked him about the noise, he said he didn't hear it.

Okay... 🤷🏽‍♀️

On a brighter note, I slept until that noise startled me (a little after 8).

I'm usually up and at 'em by 7:30 latest. Gotta tidy up the living room and get daddy's breakfast going. I like to be done with his morning routine (glucose check, breakfast, nebulizer, and morning meds) by 9.

No later than 9:30.

It just makes the day flow easier.

Our schedule is much easier now that he no longer has any meds he takes three times a day. That's something to be thankful for. 😌

Before daylight savings time, we were in bed by 10 p.m. Now that it's getting dark earlier, daddy is ready for bed earlier. It was 9 p.m. last week and now he's ready for bed by 8 p.m.

Good for me because I can start my wind down earlier.

What I've learned in the past several months is that the earlier I get in bed, the earlier I'll fall asleep. Even when I tell myself I'm not sleepy. 😂

Today we're heading out for several hours. I have an appointment at noon. We'll have lunch after then head to one of the supermarkets to pick up a cake or two (and maybe some pies) for Thursday. (The day we celebrate Thanksgiving Day here in the United States.)

On the way home we'll get daddy's prescriptions, I'll check the mailboxes then we're back home until Thursday. 😌

Et maintenant, it's time for me to get dressed so we can get outta here.

Have a great day y'all; be blessed, be a blessing! 💕

p.s. Come back later for some Mercury-in-retrograde musings. (Did y'all think I forgot? 😁😁)

864.2

Good day y'all.

I hope everyone is somewhere safe and feeling content.

I'm trying to relax and wondering how long it will be before I nod off. Yesterday wore me out somehow. Daddy had a doc appointment and we ran a few errands but we weren't out all day. Maybe it was the heavy bags I dragged in and the number of times I was up and down the steps to do so.

Daddy has more appointments next week and I have a service appointment for the vehicle. I like to get our grocery shopping done when we're out but I'm not sure if that will work next week. We'll see.

So folks, there is the matter of finishing post 864.

It ended here:

In more personal news, Daddy and I went out for dinner. We found a new (to me) local spot that has huge bowls.

And we continue here:

Bowls are trending now. I'm not sure why because they've been around for a while. I remember the first time we went to Qdoba. (Mr. Bliss was still alive so it was more than six years ago.) We all got burritos but bowls were an option.*

Daddy and I created our bowls from the many delicious menu options. The photos:

 My bowl: grilled chicken, quinoa, roasted sweet potatoes, lentils, roasted corn, kale slaw, some other stuff.

 My butternut squash soup.

Daddy's bowl: onions, pink onions, kale slaw, roasted sweet potatoes, sweet and spicy peppers, meatballs.

Did I say "delicious menu options"? I'll say it again: delicious menu options. The bowls were scrumptious.

I'd texted Baby Bliss before we left home, to tell her daddy and I were headed out for dinner. She had lots of questions, texting me up until daddy and I were actually eating.

In the middle of my gastronomic glee, someone came up behind me and put his/her hands over my eyes. (My glasses really.)

My first thought was, "Who the heck do I know that knows I'm here?"

It was my funny daughter with her beautiful baby hands. 💕

She and the fiancé were in town making the rounds. At night. 😐😑

My child stayed long enough to eat several mouthfuls from my bowl and talk to her grandpa while I ran out to the car to greet my son-in-law.

She, too, thought the food was delicious. So much so that she dropped a few dollars 💸 in the tip jar. (I love it when we people who have worked for tips in our previous lives show our appreciation for those who currently rely on tips to supplement their incomes by forking over some well-deserved 💰.)

My leftovers went with me. Daddy wasn't paying attention and he put his in the garbage. 😩

We made a pit stop on the way home but made it inside in time for evening meds and a couple of our evening tv shows before bed.

🌸🌸🌸

*Chipotle is our usual go-to for bowls in the real world. Although I will eat a burrito at a Mexican restaurant or similar, I switched to bowls a few years ago, when I began my carb-cutting "regimen". 😐 It's one of the fewer-carbs options I've been able to make work for me.

861.

🌸 🌸 🌸

I am thankful for the good people I've chosen to be in my life who choose me right back.

Amen.

🌸 🌸 🌸

857.

Happy Sunday folks.

I hope everyone has been well in the time that I've been absent.

Saying "I've been busy", is an understatement.

At this moment, I am fighting exhaustion. Seriously.

As soon as I'm done with this (short) post, I'm passing out in a pile of pillows.

But I wanted to share this with you all: my daddy is now living with me. 🙌🏽

Finally. 😀😌

Surprise! 😀 🎉🎉🎉😀

He has been here a week as of Saturday.

We're still adjusting.

Those of you who have ever been caretakers for parents (or other elderly and/or disabled persons) probably have an idea of how my life has changed and will change in the days/weeks/months/years to come.

I'm still learning.

I'm also realizing it's a lot like having a toddler in the house, something I have experience with. Can't say I recall being this tired back then but maybe I was. 😫

In any event I'm thankful to have daddy here, where I know he's respected and being treated well.

Daddy is doing well despite his myriad of (serious) health issues. He's resting, eating well, getting his meds...

We've had quite a few visitors (friends and family), gotten a lot of business taken care of, and even spent time hanging out a bit in the past week.

It's been a long ride y'all. It's not over but we've changed direction for the better.

My sincerest "thank you" to everyone who has taken this journey with us. Thank you all for your prayers, for your positive thoughts and energy, for any moment you've taken to wish us well.

We are grateful. 🙇🏽‍♀️🙇🏾

More later folks... 

856.

Oh my gosh y'all!

I wrote this post on September 16 and forgot to publish it.

It seems reminding myself to "publish first, edit later" (lest I forget!) isn't working.

*sigh*

So here it is today, September 30. So much has happened before and since this post...

I promise to update as soon as possible folks.

As always, stay tuned!

🌸 🌸 🌸 

September 16, 2018

Hello, hello, hello and happy day folks!

I hope everyone is safe and content.

There was a hurricane swirling near me. Florence was her name. She is now tropical storm Florence.

I live over 200 miles from the coast so no storm surge here but we're getting wind and rain. Flash flooding is predicted. I'll be inside, for the duration.

This has been a weekend of putting the finishing touches on a Special Project. Saturday I had some help from The Athlete. He had said he would do a big part of the project for me but I wasn't too sure so I started yesterday and left the hard parts for him.

He kept his word, surprising and delighting me. Not only did he help me, but he also gave me something really nice. I can't say what it is because that would reveal the surprise I'll share some time next week.

Before he left, because I know he never has any food at his place (and definitely nothing in the way of emergency preparedness), I made a small Hurricane Care Package for him to take home: two cans of tuna, half a sleeve of crackers, a four pack of peaches, an apple, a package of graham crackers, two bottles of water, two floating candles, and several small boxes of matches.

🌸 🌸 🌸

So y'all have probably guessed that I've been super busy since I was last here.

There were two more dates with pale blond guy. We had fun. I really liked him and we seemed to get along well. But there was also this weird energy that I couldn't decipher. And he was dealing with some personal issues that don't mesh well with my current and soon-to-be lifestyle.

We just kinda let it drift. But he gave me a couple of things that he probably wants back and he should have them because they're his. Howevva, he hasn't said anything and neither have I. My schedule is gonna change drastically pretty soon so he's gonna have to figure out a way to get his stuff that doesn't involve us meeting face-to-face. 🤷🏽‍♀️

I also had a long and fun date with a guy I met at a party this past winter. Lots of fun but we both knew it was a one-shot deal because my new schedule likely won't allow me to see him again.

He knows about my upcoming schedule changes and has actually been sending me encouraging messages as I move toward my new life.

This change will be major and I'm thankful for all the motivation I can get. 💓

Stay tuned for more folks!

852.

Happy, happy Sunday folks!

As always, I hope everyone is somewhere safe and doing well.

There has been so much going on in my life...

First, I'm having issues with figuring out how to convert the audios to some type of video format because Blogger (a.k.a. Google) doesn't allow me to just straight up embed the audio files here.

Are y'all asking why the heck not? So am I.

But let's move on, shall we? 💁🏽

I'll go back and work my way to "now", but full disclosure: I have a date in a few hours so I might be speed writing. If anything sounds weird, don't worry. I'll return later to smooth it all out.

🌸 🌸 🌸

After thinking I might put a little more time between visits to daddy, fate intervened in a way I probably would have seen coming if I had been using my rational mind. 

When I returned home from my June visit, my father's wife was living in the nursing home along with daddy. Well, one fine day, her warden (a.k.a. her daughter) came and snatched her out. The grapevine told me that my stepmother's daughter made an ugly scene (something the daughter excels at), cursing at her mom and saying it was time for her mom to get back home where she belonged.

So she left, to hell with my daddy. Daddy said she tried to cajole him into leaving with her but he stood his ground and did not go. (Good for you daddy!👍🏾)

A few days later I was on the road 🚙 to go see about my daddy. I felt he needed a morale boost, to know that I had not abandoned him, and he was still loved and cared for. 

We had a fantastic week-long visit. Daddy is doing exceptionally well. He asked to start physical therapy again in June and he has transitioned from the wheelchair to a walker. Even his doctors are amazed. 

If there is a genetic component to being resilient, I get it from both sides. Maybe a bit more from daddy... He has had several heart attacks -- three that I know of -- and a stroke, colon cancer, two surgeries for stent-placement and one for an implanted defibrillator. He has beat several addictions, a direct hit to the face by a flying pressure cooker lid that broke some of his front teeth in his late teens, being hit by a car as a youth...

My daddy is a survivor! 🙌🏽 👍🏽

And I want to thank you all for your prayers, positive thoughts, and positive energy for daddy's health and healing. I believe it all helps and so does daddy, who extends his gratitude through me.

🌸 🌸 🌸

I bought a new sofa folks. It's a small futon sofa, which will hopefully never get used as a futon. It's cute. Gray fabric and black legs, two colors I never thought I would have in my living room but the futon was only $90 and I needed to get that old sofa (love seat, really) outta here. (Thanks Habitat for Humanity!)

The sofa was on sale at Aldi the week of July 18. 

It looks nicer than I imagined it would, when I saw it in the picture. 😌

851.

Happy, Happy Thursday everyone!

I hope everyone is safe and happy. I am and I'm thankful.

A howling storm tore through our neighborhood last night. Lots of debris was strewn about when I went out this morning. Tree branches, tree bark, leaves...

There was also a lot of muddy dirt on my porch because one of my flower pots blew over. I accept total blame because the pot was top heavy. There were no plants in it, just dirt and the pinwheel flowers I bought from Dollar Tree to brighten up the porch and entertain me a bit when the wind stirs.

I rearranged things out there today so hopefully the next monsoon won't disrupt the porch tableau.

So about that new thing I mentioned in my last post: audio files supplemented with photos and/or videos because I've been really bad at updating the blog lately.

I want to stay current because as much as I enjoy sharing my life with y'all, this blog is also my living memoir. For as long as I'm living. After I'm gone it will become part of my legacy. Gotta keep it as real as I can.

Okay, so there are currently three audio files waiting to be uploaded here, all recorded on August 1 while I was enjoying the sights and sounds of my favorite local park on the lake.

Actually there are four files but the last one is what I got when I separated the last recording into two recordings, which I did because I forgot to stop the recorder when I went to offer my assistance to... Well, y'all will hear what I mean.

I can hear me talking to folks, walking back to the car (with the phone-in-my-purse noises), me discovering that the phone was still on, etc.  Funny but not for public consumption because the other people probably don't want to be featured here.

All further jaw-flapping aside, I present the audios:

🌸 🌸 🌸

Welllll, looks like I'm having technical difficulties with uploading audio files.

As soon as I figure it out, I'll be back! 

848.

Good morning and Happy Tuesday folks!

I hope everyone is somewhere safe and peaceful. 🌺

I'm relaxing this morning, watching "Dateline" and contemplating a movie because it's "Cheap-Movie Tuesday" in my region. 🎥

So, the promised information about resiliency...

I can't seem to find the specific article I was thinking of but I did find other information that interested me. Some is scientific research, some "other".

Perhaps you'll find something here that will interest you as well.

1.  In Brief: The Science of Resilience
2. What is Resilience? (This is an online PDF file so I'm not sure if it links correctly. If the link doesn't work, try this one What is Resilience? and look to the left for the red box that says "Download PDF".)
3. What is Resilience? (This is a really short definition, by the Resilience Research Centre. Lots to see here, on their website.)
4. Five Science-Backed Strategies to Build Resilience
5. How to Build Resilience in Midlife 

While I think of resiliency as a gift, from what I've read, it is a life skill that can be learned by anyone.

If you know anyone who could benefit from developing the life skill of resiliency, please share these resources with them.

847.

Good morning and Happy Happy Monday folks.

I hope everyone is somewhere safe, peaceful.

I woke up this morning from a dream I can't recall at the moment.

Perhaps I'll remember it later.

Any who, right now I want to clarify something from the last post.

It was not meant to devalue anyone's feelings, emotions, or the way anyone deals with challenges in their lives.

I understand that we are all different in how we process life's events.

I know everyone is not given the... gift of resiliency and I remain thankful for it.*

Life can be difficult for some. It is difficult for some. Sometimes it's difficult for me.

Mr. Bliss used to say one of the reasons he loved me so much was because I was one of the most compassionate people he knew, that I had the biggest heart.

I believe this is true.

It's possible that my compassion for others comes as a result of "knowing what it's like"... I'm not sure.

There have been more than a few occurrences in my life that could have broken me. There may still be more to come.

What I know is that I survived everyone of them. Changed perhaps but still here and hopefully evolving into my best self.

Regardless of what has happened or what may happen, I need to keep positive thoughts and energy flowing even if circumstances seem to dictate otherwise.

I recognize that some people, for any number of reasons, are unable to do this.

They are the fragile among us.

God bless them and my prayers are that they receive the assistance they need to maneuver their paths.

Amen.

🌸 🌸 🌸

* I read an article about resiliency one day... what it is, how it happens. I'll see if I can find it and link to it.

846.2

Good evening folks.

Almost bed time here. I'm getting slee-e-e-e-e-e-epy!

And now, not to waste any time lest I nod off, let's get to the reason for this post: why I think I had the dream I detailed in post 846.

Last week I received a text one afternoon from The-Man-in-Waiting asking, "Why did you do me like that? Why?"

Seriously? 😵

I ignored it.

He has a right to whatever he's feeling. And I have a right to let sleeping dogs lie. And snore. For eternity.

I could have answered him but I chose not to. Nothing I say will make him feel better because nothing I say will be what he wants to hear.

In the evening hours of the same day, The-Man-in-Waiting called me. Twice. Back-to-back. 😕

I couldn't have answered if I wanted to. His number is no longer stored in my phone so it goes straight to my voicemail via the call blocker module of the antivirus software I use.

The next afternoon he called again. He left no voicemails. I only knew he called because all calls register on my call log, regardless of personal approval rating.

So although he and I shared no verbal or written conversation, he had intruded upon my peace and insinuated himself into my subconscious. 😔

That's why, metaphorically speaking, I believe the place I was leaving in the dream could have been his place.

And the rest: all the walking; the mud; the anxiety about the walls possibly falling down on me and trapping me; the two rings of brick surrounding the basement room...

So much symbology in dreams, representations of things that escape our conscious thoughts in waking life. Things we shoo away and force into boxes that get tucked away in cobwebby corners in the backs of our minds...

Later it also came to me that I had also recently had a dream with The-Man-in-Waiting actually in it. I remembered that it happened on Wednesday, the day I was so tired that I had to lay down in bed for a nap. I had the dream right before I awoke.

In the dream, I'm not sure if we actually talked but the phone was involved. He wanted me to come back to him, to start over and pretend like everything was okay. Or perhaps he'd forgotten what happened. Possible also is that in the dream, nothing untoward had happened.

That part is unclear.

I do remember waking and thinking that would never happen and wondering why I had had the dream. It's rare for me to dream about the men I date.

The real-life text and the first two calls came a couple of days later; the third call, a day after the first two.

What he thinks I did, I don't know. We all filter our realities through the veil of our own life experience, expectations, etc., so there's that.

I can tell y'all this: The "why me" or "why does this always happen to me" mentality is a no-no in my world.

Shit happens because shit happens. 💩💩💩

Call it karma, kismet, fate, The Drawing of the Three, the Red String... whatever.

It's all Life.

As much as I like to believe I know why some particular thing happened, I also know I could be totally wrong because I cannot possibly be privy to every single piece of whatever puzzle I might be focused on.

As much as we want it to, it just doesn't work that way.

And who says it should?

Becoming an Optimistic Realist is freeing. It's also frustrating. But it allows me to ground myself with the knowledge that no matter how much insight God gives me, some shit just ain't my business.

Having said that, I keep The-Man-in-Waiting in the subconscious prayer chamber along with everyone else who is no longer part of my daily conscious thoughts but who is "standing in the need of prayer".

As well, I pray for me, because as the song says: It's not my sister, it's not my brother. It's me oh Lord standing in the need of prayer.*

Because truly, there but for the grace of God, go I. Where ever "there" may be...

Amen.

🌸 🌸 🌸

* There are several versions of this song. I happen to like the more upbeat versions.

I found one on YouTube. Take a listen.

Sweet dreams y'all.

844.

It's a beautiful day here.

I'm thankful.

Amen.

843.

Goooooood morning and Happy Happy Saturday folks!

I do hope everyone is somewhere safe.

Fingers crossed that no one stepped on any cracks or whistled indoors yesterday! 😜

It is Saturday morning here, in my tiny part of the globe. But maybe it's not where you are?

If it isn't, Happy Happy Happy _____day and good afternoon or evening to you! 💋

So, my Friday evening was pleasant.

I had dinner with my neighbor. She cooked hamburgers, chili, and baked beans. We also had fixings for a green salad, starting with the six or seven types of salad dressing she lined up on the table. There was also Cole slaw, chopped onions, sliced tomatoes, gherkins, shredded cheese, and several types of sliced cheese.

We laughed and chatted while we ate then watched telly until she nodded off a few times. I got drowsy too and she encouraged me to nod off on her sofa, a nice gesture but I wanted to get home and into my comfy loungewear so I could loll about properly.

Shortly after I got in, I tuned into Dateline. The special topic was the Jonestown massacre of November 18, 1978, a tragedy that has both haunted and fascinated me since it happened. 😕

Haunted me because I always felt that if I had been living in San Francisco during that era, there is a chance I could have been swept into that madness.

Let me explain:

When I was 9 or 10, I somehow became obsessed with the idea that I had been born in the wrong era and should have been a flower child out in the (California) Bay Area. Maybe I had seen too many movies or something. I don't know...

But I was enamored with all things San Francisco, anything hippy-esque. And I thought of running away, to San Francisco. Seriously. (As discussed in post 176.)

Then came the headlines about Jonestown, Guyana, The Peoples Temple, mass suicide...

I was devastated when I learned the details, gleaned from newspapers and news reports. I felt personally impacted, sickened, when I saw images of the bodies and bodies and bodies, laying out in the Guyana heat and sun, a place so far and alien from anything I could imagine, from the free and loving vibe of San Francisco.

There was no laptop then, no desktop (for me), no Google. All I had was the library and any place I could buy a newspaper.

I remember clipping every article and bit of information about it, a whole expandable file full. It must have gotten lost before or after I moved out of my mom's because it's been missing for over 35 years.

In the 40 years since the tragedy in Guyana, I have read many books on the subject, seen quite a few documentaries on the topic, even seen television shows and movies about it.

I have also discovered too many websites to list, but this one is my favorite because it's the most comprehensive of all that I've found and is a dynamite gateway for anyone who wants to learn more about the history of the Peoples Temple and all that is currently know about what led up to the Jonestown massacre: Alternative Considerations of Jonestown & Peoples Temple.

My prayers for everyone still living who is affected by the ugliness that became Jonestown.

My prayers...