808.

🎶 🎶 🎶 Good morning, good morning folks! 🎶 🎶 🎶


Yes, I feel like singing. But not right now because I also feel like I need to find a pile of pillows and dive right in.

I am tired as all get out and some body parts are achy too.

There is lots of good news to share but it will have to wait for a subsequent post.

What I'll leave you wonderful people with is this: I have a new suitor.

He's someone I grew up with and I've had a crush on him for as long as I can remember but I kept it a secret. (Who wants to ruin a good friendship with romance? Not me.)

And yes it happened at the beach.

Totally unexpected and totally cool.

We've been friends for years without even a hint of romance, previously sharing more of a sibling-type relationship. However, the time we spent together at the beach allowed us to see each other differently.

 He's smitten. 💕 Me too. 💕

He lives in my hometown but he's retired so we're gonna see how we can work it out. 💃

That's all for now good people. My eyeballs are begging for darkness.

Nitey-nite folks. 💋💋

779.

Good evening everyone.

I hope you've all enjoyed a pleasant and productive day.

It's been an interesting one chez Bliss. 😏

After my last post, I zonked out pretty quickly.

Well folks, I just happened to be rolling over an hour later when the screen on my phone lit up and the phone rang.

It was the Hunk, full of vim and vigor, excitedly rambling on about something he and I had discussed earlier in the evening.

My heart was racing as I listened, not sure if I was awake or dreaming.

As he paused for my response, I gathered my thoughts and told him how the phone had scared me and I needed to get up to find my lavender essential oil.

He apologized and said he called was because I'd told him I was a night owl, he was up and at 'em, and he thought I would be too.

He offered to let me return to my slumber but I declined and decided he needed to talk to me until I was able to wind down.

Which he happily agreed to do. 😐😀😶

After we'd talked for about an hour, he said it sounded like I was ready to nod. I was and after a few more minutes of conversation, we rang off.

I had hoped to sleep until 10 a.m. but I was awake before 8 a.m.  *sigh*

The Hunk called again right before noon, beginning a round of back-and-forth phone calls that ended when he called to say good night shortly after 9 p.m.

We talked for 30 or 45 minutes, ending with assurances that we'd talk tomorrow.

In between our first phone call and our last, we did a lot of texting.

We're both Gemini (which means any conversation we have involves four people) and our topics were all over the place.

In fact, while we were texting I was also e-mailing him from my phone (because he can't get images in his texts) so he was responding to texts and emails from me.

One of our conversations revolved around our plans for my visit. We established my arrival date and time as well as some of the things we'll do while I'm there, down to what we'll eat.

The planning itself is fun and it's nice that he seems to be as excited about it as I am.

We also discussed the protocol for my visit (dress code for lounging around the house, no sex, no tobacco, etc.) as well as the possible outcomes of my visit and what those possibilities could mean for us both.

Although we both know what we would like the outcome to be (because we've talked about it), I suggested we go into the visit with no expectations and no pressure so that we both feel as comfortable as possible during our time together.

I also mentioned that we could take any time necessary during my stay to talk about what ever we felt needed discussing. (Because at some point we will want to talk about what we're feeling and thinking. It's how Gemini processes life.)

The Hunk agreed with all.

In the many conversations we've had in the past week, we've touched on lots regarding dating and relationships (of course).

And although we do have common interests and similar life stories, as I've learned from living, it takes a whole lotta commitment to make a relationship work.

From what he's shared with me thus far, the Hunk seems willing to put in the work. Whether it's with me or someone else remains to be seen.

I don't say that because I doubt the attainability of our shared desire.

You all should know by now that I am the eternal optimist who believes in Love💕, Magick 💫, fairytales, rainbows🌈, Unicorns🦄🦄, heads-up pennies...

However I am also a practical realist who believes in hard work and perseverance. 💪🏾

If the Hunk and I can merge all those details into one big delicious lip-smacking five-star feast, we'll do just fine.

Here's to new beginnings.  🍧 🍯🍒

Good night y'all. 💤💤💤

755.

It was a dark and stormy night...

Just kidding folks.

Regarding my most recent date(s) with my Paramour: It was a warm and dreamy night. And a wild and wonderful day.

Lots of interesting conversation (more reveals), lots of laughter, talk of marriage (including what I'm calling an "invitation to a proposal"), food, lots of kisses, some snuggling...

Most interesting: the "invitation to a proposal".

During our meal, we talked about our lives and he mentioned how much we had in common including the number of times we've both been married.

I laughed and asked him if he truly wanted to get married again. He in turn asked me if I wanted to get married again. I said I wasn't sure.

His response (as he gazed longingly into my eyes across the table -- seriously), "Yes, I do want to get married again and I want to marry you."

(Well, okay...

Yes, I have had several husbands as well as a number of broken engagements and a number of proposals I've turned down. And perhaps one day some extraordinarily lucky man will once again call me his wife.  💕

Perhaps it will even be my current Paramour because I definitely dig this guy.)

My reply (rendered with lots of eyelash fluttering and an inviting smile: But (Paramour), you don't really know me.

Him: I like what I know so far and I'll get to know you as my wife.

Me: 😯 Baby... getting married means moving again. I hate moving.

Him: Baby all you need to do is pack. I'll make sure the moving gets done.

He said he wants us to spend more time together once he moves into his new house (now being built and scheduled for a mid-summer closing) and he doesn't believe in just living together so he's working on making me Mrs. Paramour but he'll let me decide when I'm ready and then I can propose to him.  😄

My thought: ideally when two people who are romantically involved decide to legally merge lives and commit before God and family, they are committing to doing what it takes to make the situation work well for both parties.

I know what I tell myself about the things I want to do and what I'm willing to do when I partner with the man I want to spend the rest of my life with.

The question I have to ask myself is am I serious or am I just telling myself these things to feel like I won't make any of the "mistakes" I made in my relationship with Mr. Bliss?

Which leads me to another question: do I really want to be in an exclusive relationship right now or do I want to continue to be free to date whomever I want whenever I want, believing that some future day will bring me the man I want to spend the rest of my life with?

All things I need to think about as the gentleman and I spend more time together.

My Paramour admits his role in the demise of his former marriages and what he learned from those relationships. I can only take his word for what he says unless he shows me otherwise, as he must do for me.

I'm not sure we can ever truly know every aspect of our partners' thoughts, dreams, past histories, etc. Perhaps we should not know some of those things.

Which, I admit, kind of freaks me out because I am still learning to release my controlling tendencies.

In my evolution, I'm still learning to embrace the concept of "now".

The goal is to know when that concept means throw all caution to the wind and just do it as opposed to when it means sit tight because, "now".

Get it?

No?

I'm not sure I do either.

I'm still working on it...

Whatever the outcome of this situation, I must remember to remain grateful for opportunities for self-introspection no matter the impetus.  🙏


p.s.  If this post sounds out of context in any way, it's because I'm tired and sleepy. In fact I'm finishing it up in my bed, where mounds of pillows lie awaiting my loving embrace.

Good night y'all.

Sweet dreams.

753.

The last few days have been interesting, to put it mildly.

My Paramour has managed to surprise me in a quite surprising manner. Frankly, I'm surprised that I can still be surprised by life. Grateful too.  😊

Today we had an hour-long conversation that spanned a wide range of topics, as has become our custom. This is one of the aspects of our interaction that I really enjoy. I love listening to his voice and how calm he always sounds.

When he leaves work, we have plans to meet. I'm sure we'll continue the open dialogue we've established, among other things...

Good stuff.

So why are my nerves shot?  😳

Partly due to lack of sleep.

I intended to go to bed early-ish last night (meaning closer to 1 a.m. instead of 3 or 4) but it didn't happen. When I finally made it to bed I was exhausted.  😔

After rolling around for a few minutes, I jumped up to find my friend Lavender Essential Oil.

While it helped me fall asleep, I couldn't stay asleep. I literally tossed and turned until daylight.  😭

Part of the reason I couldn't sleep is because I know the Paramour and I have some unfinished business that really needs finishing. That's the other reason my nerves are on edge. It's nothing negative but it's making me nervous all the same.

After I shower and shampoo my hair, I'm gonna soak my feet in epsom salt, baking soda, and lavender e.o.

But now I'm craving McDonald's fries. (Thanks Dr. Oz!)

Thank goodness I have sweet potato fries in the freezer. Time to pop some in the oven.  😁

752.

The past few days have been busy and interesting. Very interesting.

Sad, uplifting, exhilarating, awkward...

Mi vida...  😁😂😐😖😠😍😊😁😳

Despite his excruciatingly busy work schedule, my Paramour and I had two long dates in the past week.

Shopping, eating, riding, lots of talking and laughter, a few tears, lots of kissing and hand-holding...

This week we divulged additional personal information to each other, I visited his job, he took me to see the progress on the home he's having built, I had an opportunity to see him shirtless. 😜

He's respectful, a good kisser, industrious, chivalrous, he makes me laugh, gives me reasons to dream.

In other news, Mercury is being all kinds of relentless this retrograde.

Last night I received a "proposition" via text from a guy I had two dates with in the past and don't care to see again. If I had been into him, had I been so inclined, I might have given him a night he'll remember until his last breath. 😜😄😶

The aforementioned invitation:

As it stands, even if I wasn't seeing my current flame, home boy ain't got nothing coming. (As we say back home.)

It makes sense to me that if we went out twice and I haven't responded to your calls or texts in over 30 days, we're not dating. We're not even friends. Just let sleeping dogs lie dude.

And even if I did want to see that guy again, I would have passed on last night's offer.

My fate has been sealed by the gods and I must remain chaste until the wedding.

Are you asking, "What wedding?!"

Silly me. Let me enlighten you good people:  I'm gonna be wearing an engagement 💍 before my next birthday and married before Christmas.

You're asking how I can be sure, yes?

Check it out:

😜😜😜

747.

Good day people!

I hope yours is going well.

My day is slowly grinding to a standstill. Not sure why, but I've run out of energy. Probably the combination of not enough food and definitely not enough sleep.

I went to sleep shortly before 2 a.m., intending to sleep until at least 10:30 a.m.

Alas, I was awakened at the unseemly hour of 8-something by an obscene number of texts from my Paramour. Although I was still snuggled up with my pillows, the sound of the text notifications dragged me away from the peace and tranquility of the land of Nod into the harsh reality of Saturday morning sunlight.

It was a poem, expressing words of comfort and longing.

How lovely.  💕💕💕

It took me an hour to gather my thoughts enough to respond.

As I stated in a previous post, I really like this guy. And although we've had three dates (and the offer of one for tomorrow), I think I need to take a step back and meditate on this situation. 💮

We're attracted to each other, we're flirty, the chemistry is good. On every date we've had discussions about serious life and relationship issues, both past and potentially future. We seem to be in alignment about most of the things that matter. He says he wants us to pursue a seriously serious relationship.

Me too.

But he's also done some things that have set my teeth on edge. Not necessarily red flags but I need to feel sure enough that he's someone I want to move forward with.

I hope this isn't TMI for anyone but I'm at a precarious stage in my life. I'm experiencing what's known as peri-menopause and I also happen to be PMSing.

Which means I'm all tangled up in hormones and emotions and thoughts that may or may not be conducive to anything remotely resembling anything factual.

What I've found myself doing is jotting notes of things he's done and said that don't make sense to me. (Because I'm a writer and because I don't want to forget...)

We discussed my list and he said I should tell him any time I think something is off so we can talk about it and he can make any explanations or adjustments necessary. Because he wants us to be best friends and share everything with each other without fear of rejection or reprisal.

Wow. What a man!  😜

But is he just saying what I want to hear or is he being truthful?

Time, time, time...

Trying to keep my eyes open for anything that isn't quite on kilter while having a good time is not my idea of a good time.

I want to enjoy the moments we're together (and I have) but I don't want to miss or misread anything that could be a reason for me to nip this thing in the bud.

Essentially, what I'm saying is that I don't want to get my feelings hurt. Nor do I want to hurt his.

If only my crystal ball worked during Mercury retrogrades...  😩

It's a precarious balancing act, the letting go and holding on.

Knowing when to do either is what I struggle with, trying to maintain a sense of order and common sense while being open to being swept away if something beautiful and magical comes along.

La vida...  ☔🌈

745.

Good day folks.

It's evening here, after 8:30 p.m., and the skies are dark.  🌌🌖

I'm sitting at my desk listening to the audio I made this morning, of this morning's dream. Actually there were at least two dreams. I woke up and thought about doing the dream audio but in my half asleep state, I told myself I would remember later.

Then I rolled over and headed for another snooze.

Yes, when I awoke again, the previous dream was forgotten. I could only recall the one I had right before waking the second time. It was interesting but not very remarkable, as my dreams go.

I did record an audio for it so sorry folks, I'm not detailing it here.

On to my day's activities!

I was almost on time for my first calendar item.  😒

What made me late was being undecided on wardrobe at the last minute. I wanted to look appropriate for meeting with my client/collaborator yet slightly seductive for my date.

If I'm to toot my own horn, mission accomplished. 😜

And yes, I was late for my date too. Although it was taking place less than a five-minute drive from my first location, I was late because I left my first stop later than I intended.

Some of that time was spent sitting at one of the longest red lights I've ever encountered, literally half a minute from my destination.

My Paramour waited for me just inside the restaurant door, seated on a bench, looking simultaneously tired and sexy.  😉  Mmmmm...

On the off chance that anyone is oblivious, I'm really digging this dude.

As I consider myself a "listen to what he says but watch what he does" kinda gal, I try not to get blinded by pretty words. But today he said some things that gave me lots to smile about. Think about too. And I like that there was a lot of laughter.

He is not a guy who would stand out in a crowd because he's very low key, very laid back. His energy is tranquil but also very masculine. Not overly so, just enough to give me the hots for him. 😋

I like looking at him. He has hairy arms and he said... well never mind that but body hair on a man turns me on. His face is handsome in it's weariness and (somehow) its familiarity. His eyes are deep, his gaze unwavering and encouraging.

Listening to the sound of his voice... the rhythm, the tone, the cadence. Aural euphoria. I love how my name drips from his lips, slow and honey-coated.

One day he's gonna lull me to sleep in his arms as he whispers everything I ever wanted to hear.

Here's to wishing upon a star...

Good night folks.  💤💤💤

682.

Hey folks!

It's "Tickle My Fancy Tuesday" chez Bliss.

Everything is just rosy and I've been giggling like a school girl at random intervals.

How's the vibe at your place?

Last night my new paramour and I shared a good (voice) conversation.

We talked about the weather, the kids, each other, our next date.

We agreed on Thursday then decided possibly Friday and Saturday too, Saturday being a "maybe" because I have a previous engagement for that evening. But if it ends at a decent hour, we agreed to meet up.

We texted off and on throughout the evening until bedtime.

In between, I had to get Baby Bliss from work. She and I stopped for a bite on the way home.

Once again my suitor texted me about an hour after he'd gone to sleep, to say he was thinking of me. He's plucking my heart strings, this guy.

Have I mentioned that my sleep schedule has gotten really wacky again? At least several nights of every week in the past few, I've been staying up until daylight.

It wouldn't be so bad if I could manage to sleep until 11 a.m. or noon. However, I've only been managing to average 3 or 4 hours of sleep in a 24-hour period.

Not good y'all.

It not unusual because it happens to me periodically. But I know it's ultimately a negative.

Back to more pleasant topics...

I'm seeing him at 7:30 tonight.

Yep, we said Thursday but he requested my presence and I said yes.

Time to get a move on y'all!

Ayo everyone! ("Goodbye" in Papiamento.)

More later...