"you can pick your nose but you can't pick your relatives."
- (i don't remember who said this)
some people you gotta love with a looooooong-handled spoon...
i'm not sure what was going on at a relative's house at 1 a.m. but what evva it was, it ain't have nothing to do with me.
i have a relative who is in a "challenging" marriage. she chooses to stay and i choose to stay out of her business.
before she got married, while she was dating her husband, there have been a few "emergency incidents" over the years. family members -- me included -- stepped in to help.
after things quieted down, the relative chose to return to the husband. fine. we all make our own choices and have to live with the consequences.
for many years after the relative married, she and i lived several hundred miles apart. now we live practically in the same neighborhood. up until now, i've gotten probably one "emergency" call.
i choose not to assist for a few reasons. the primary one being i have a youngin' who don't need to be dragged into a whole lotta mess. specially somebody else's mess.
secondly, i cherish my own life. why should i risk life and/or limbs cuz somebody else chooses to live on a rollercoaster? i'm fond of merry-go-rounds myself. a little up, a little down. sometimes dizzy, sometimes not.
third, after you've helped a person -- at their request -- several times already, and they keep returning to the same behavior, you kind of lose interest in assisting.
not that my life is perfect. it ain't. but it's pretty close to perfectly what i want it to be. and it sho nuff reflects the choices i've made in the past.
but back to the relative...
so my phone rang at 1 a.m. and my first thought was "what the hell does she want this time of morning?!" so i pressed the "ignore" button on my phone and went back to chilling.
then daggonit the phone rang again. it was her, again. and i pressed "ignore" again.
the only calls i answer in the wee hours are from my momma, my daddy, my grandma, my husband, or my daughter. anyone else calling will only get an answer if i'm on autopilot and answer the phone reflexively.
like they say when i call 311 for information: if this is a real emergency, hang up and call 911.
at 1 a.m., the only help i can offer the relative is my prayers.
.
- (i don't remember who said this)
some people you gotta love with a looooooong-handled spoon...
i'm not sure what was going on at a relative's house at 1 a.m. but what evva it was, it ain't have nothing to do with me.
i have a relative who is in a "challenging" marriage. she chooses to stay and i choose to stay out of her business.
before she got married, while she was dating her husband, there have been a few "emergency incidents" over the years. family members -- me included -- stepped in to help.
after things quieted down, the relative chose to return to the husband. fine. we all make our own choices and have to live with the consequences.
for many years after the relative married, she and i lived several hundred miles apart. now we live practically in the same neighborhood. up until now, i've gotten probably one "emergency" call.
i choose not to assist for a few reasons. the primary one being i have a youngin' who don't need to be dragged into a whole lotta mess. specially somebody else's mess.
secondly, i cherish my own life. why should i risk life and/or limbs cuz somebody else chooses to live on a rollercoaster? i'm fond of merry-go-rounds myself. a little up, a little down. sometimes dizzy, sometimes not.
third, after you've helped a person -- at their request -- several times already, and they keep returning to the same behavior, you kind of lose interest in assisting.
not that my life is perfect. it ain't. but it's pretty close to perfectly what i want it to be. and it sho nuff reflects the choices i've made in the past.
but back to the relative...
so my phone rang at 1 a.m. and my first thought was "what the hell does she want this time of morning?!" so i pressed the "ignore" button on my phone and went back to chilling.
then daggonit the phone rang again. it was her, again. and i pressed "ignore" again.
the only calls i answer in the wee hours are from my momma, my daddy, my grandma, my husband, or my daughter. anyone else calling will only get an answer if i'm on autopilot and answer the phone reflexively.
like they say when i call 311 for information: if this is a real emergency, hang up and call 911.
at 1 a.m., the only help i can offer the relative is my prayers.
.
2 comments:
ain't that the truth honey. sometimes folks feel like that's the best they can do, especially if you've had it beat into you mentally and physically that "ain't nobody gonna want you but me."
I know it's hard when it's family. But like you said, after awhile, "what CAN you do about it?" That's too much negative energy to be carrying around. Gosh, I hope they don't have children.
they do have kids girl. ;-( a whooooole lot of kids. only a few belong to my relative. (and you know they act out ALL the time.) the rest have a lot of other mamas. '-&
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