882.

Happy Thursday folks!

I hope you're all somewhere safe and doing well.

I'm gonna try to make this fast because I'm supposed to be sleeping. Also because I need to get it out before anything else noteworthy occurs. 😁

So this happened:

- A family member saved herself and her neighbors from literally being blown to bits a week ago. She had been smelling "a slight natural gas smell" before she left for vacation. Returned home and the odor was stronger. 😮

My relative called the gas company around 11p.m. Gas company rep arrived around midnight and said yep, gas leaking. He proceeded to knock on the door of the neighbor whose unit the smell seemed to be coming from.

No answer. Fire department was called to gain entry. Fire department showed up, opened the door. There was a sleeping occupant who needed reviving. 😱 An ambulance was called. The fire department used equipment to clear the gas fumes from the apartment. The paramedics/EMTs had to remove the occupant from a back door of the unit, started life-saving measures in the grass, then took the occupant to the hospital. 

The next day my relative learned that a faulty gas stove was the culprit and she was thanked for saving not only lives but property as well. Several people in the building smoke and sometimes folks use grills on their patios and thankfully an awful situation was averted.

The mystery: did anyone else smell the gas in all that time? If yes, did they not understand the seriousness of the situation? 😕

- A guy who used to be my neighbor was arrested recently for sexually assaulting several women during massages when he was employed with two local (reputable) massage places.

But he won't be tried for the accusations. He had to be released because of a technicality. 😑 I can't prove he did anything he's accused of. Indeed, my own interactions with him were all fine. However, before he moved, I began reading The Sociopath Next Door. A few chapters in and I realized that something almost undetectable in homeboy's personality did raise my hackles a few times. 😬

🌸 🌸 🌸

Back to Memorial Day weekend: it was fabuloso!

- I had a great time with my dad's family at the quinceañera. We ate, danced, laughed, took photos, tried to crash the wedding next door, and allowed some wedding guests to peek in on our party too.

My cousin truly looked like a princess in her dress. Her parents were so proud and happy. My aunt (grandmother of the princess) was proud and happy too.

We all were. 💓

- The time spent with my friend was fun, eye-opening, sad, nostalgic, cathartic, blissful.

We talked about a lot of things past and present. Things we needed to share with each other, reveal to each other. There was a lot of emotional rawness and intimacy.  (No, not that kind.)  There were tears, laughter, yelling. We looked at old photos I'd taken with me.

We had a cookout at his house on Memorial Day. Some of his family came over. It was good to see them. Sad too. 😶

Really just a good reunion.

(Side note: There was a summer storm one night and I had another "energy" episode similar to the one in post 535. I've also had a few episodes at home since that post, always during weather events. The "why" continues to elude me. 😐)

Our visit was a much-needed chapter in our ongoing dialogue and I'm thankful we were able to get to it.

My friend is on vacation now, with one of his homies. We talked about him swinging by to visit me on his way home but he called the other day to say it wasn't likely to work with his probable schedule.

Que sera, sera...

When we next have time, it will be good to see him again. I love him as much as our connection allows and he knows he's one of the few people who is welcome to knock on my door without invitation or explanation, knowing he'll be ushered in with joy.

Until we meet again, the beat goes on.

🌸 🌸 🌸

There has been more conversing with the Astronaut lately. (See posts 804, 811, 855, and 876.)

He's scheduled to go home for the 4th of July, for a family reunion. He said he wants me to join him, which I just might do.

I haven't seen his people (who are my people too, sort of; more on that later) in almost 35 years. 📅📅

The Astronaut and I met the summer I was 17/18. He lived several hours and several hundred miles away but his brother was married to the sister of a guy my cousin was dating and the Astronaut came with them for a visit to my hometown.

He and I were instantly attracted to each other. We were inseparable the whole time he was in town and thought ourselves in love by the time he was heading back home. (I don't recall how long the visit was. Maybe a few week, maybe a couple of weeks.)

We made plans for me to visit him.

In the interim, there were lots of phone calls and sometimes letters. ☎ 🖊📃 💌📬 ☎

By the time I visited, we were talking marriage. 💍 💒

I loved everything about him, I thought.

But did we even have anything in common? Not much, it seemed.

He was a country boy, muscular and virile, with an accent that tickled my ears. His parents were still together living in the family home, his momma was a good cook, and he had lots of siblings, things that made me feel secure with him. And jealous of him.

I was a city girl, raised by a single mother and her family (mostly women). Cute and bookish but urban and sparkly enough to catch his eye. Dumb as a tick when it came to establishing and sustaining a healthy romantic relationship, certainly not able to create and foster a viable marriage.

The photos from my visit south, to see him and meet his family, are still in my collection. Decades later, the trip is still a fond memory for me.

My recollection is that we were gonna marry and move me south. We were researching jobs for me and planned to move into an apartment next to his brother and sister-in-law. But something happened and we broke up. Not during my visit but some time after.

Maybe the tedium of being in a long distance relationship with a man I didn't really know became overwhelming. Or boring. Or something else.

I do remember being married to my first husband and having sporadic contact with the Astronaut, Nothing untoward, just a few phone calls and a few letters. I recall telling him how I'd had a dream about his mom and him telling me she'd died the week of my dream...

At some point we lost touch.

Fast forward to meeting, dating, and marrying Mr. Bliss and Bam!

Big planet with billions of people and wouldn't ya know it, the Astronaut and I are now related by marriage. 😵😂

When I reminded him that tongues would be wagging if we attend the family reunion together, his response: So? I knew you first.

Alrighty then. (See definition number 4.)

🌸 🌸 🌸

In other news, I have a date Friday. Stay tuned for more details. 😄

Sweet dreams y'all.


p.s  I just remembered that I must have visited the Astronaut at least twice, back in the day. The photos I mentioned are from a summer visit.

But there was also a visit when we went to the county fair, an autumn event. I remember because he took a photo of me lounging in a wooden glider-type swing but it was suspended by rope from a huge tree.

I was wearing a cream colored v-neck sweater and a pair of baggy floral pants in rust and navy blue, a favorite outfit that season.

That photo might be floating around in the archives. I'll have to search for it.

881.

Hello, hello, hello folks.

I hope all is well with everyone.

We're just swell here, living and breathing, eating well with a roof over our heads and clean clothes to wear.

I'm thankful. 💓

So, as usual, there is lots to tell.

Before I get back to more details of my Memorial Day weekend, there is more recent stuff to divulge.

But first, let me send my condolences into the Universe, for Anderson Cooper on the transition of his mom, the inimitable Gloria Vanderbilt. May he have peace and comfort for this journey. May her soul merge with the Great Conscious some of us call God and rest easy.

In my teens, Gloria Vanderbilt's name was synonymous with looking "fly". Her jeans were highly coveted among the girls I attended junior high and high school with. I don't recall ever owning a pair but the commercial for the jeans was one of my favorite t.v. adverts.

I was saddened to hear that she'd passed away and I cried watching the CNN tribute Anderson Cooper made for his mom. This will be his first birthday without his mom, my first without my dad.

La vida...

🌸 🌸 🌸

880.

Hello and Happy Wednesday y'all!

I hope everyone is safe and sound as you're reading.

This will be short because I'm tired.

My mom is/was in town for a mini-visit. She drove down to see about grandma (her momma) so she stayed at grandma's house, down in the big city.

I was down in the big city Monday and Tuesday, to help clear out old papers at grandma's while my mom and grandma were on the hunt for all pertinent documents and some jewelry my grandma wanted my mom to have.

Later, one of my aunts came by with her son. Those two are at grandma's every day any way (they only live a few minutes around a few corners as do a bunch of other cousins) and now days, someone is always sleeping over at grandma's.

Baby Bliss was working both days so she missed her granny on this trip.

🌸🌸🌸

Last weekend was busy. I relented on my "no" stance with the Athlete and hung out with him Saturday and part of Sunday. He wanted me to hang out Sunday night too but we couldn't coordinate schedules.

Which was for the best.

It was good to see him but I can only spend a limited amount of time with him. For the most part he's a sweet guy but we have vastly different styles of communicating. Too many hours spent trying to chase his thoughts around Robin Hood's barn and I'm just worn out.

I usually say what's on my mind, no chaser. Sometimes it rubs him the wrong way when I don't sugar coat things for him.

Maybe it's the northerner in me. Y'all know what they say: you can take the girl outta the city...

The Athlete lives near the church we three Bliss used to attend, many many moons ago. When I left his place Sunday, I dropped by the church to see my peeps.

Service had ended when I arrived but I stayed close to an hour talking, eating, and helping clean up.  Several people we knew were there, surprising me to tears. I was also surprised that some folks remembered me. (And I'm not sure why I was surprised because it's a small congregation.)

🌸🌸🌸

On a more personal note, my Memorial Day weekend back home was everything. 

It was phenomenal.

The time spent with my friend was literally life-altering.

I also had a super duper fantastic time with my dad's family at the quinceañera.

But as I stated in the beginning of this post, I'm beat.

More details to come...

Ciao folks! 💋💋💋

879.

Happy Sunday folks! 😀

Hopefully everyone is enjoying this beautiful day in peace and harmony. It's warm and sunny here and I'm resting for now.

Up until this moment, this weekend hasn't been what I thought it would be.

 My expectations: restful quiet with snacks, music, crochet, needles and thread...

Instead I got lots of conversation(s) with my friend, a lost-dog crisis, a bug-in-the-house crisis, and a dearth of rest/sleep.

- Sleep deprivation is not news around here. 😒😣

- The bug incident had my heart racing. I've lived at my current residence for seven years. I can count on one had the number of big bugs I've seen in here.

I turned on the bathroom light and there it was, on the floor. I began screaming. Baby Bliss et al ran out to see why. I said, "Cockroach". Her boyfriend said, "Water bug".

Either way, my adrenaline shot up as I ran in search of something to spray it with.

Febreeze was the first thing I saw.

I blasted that sucka but it didn't stop him. Baby Bliss came with a shoe and a screaming-shouting frenzy ensued.

The sound of a bug "splat" is horrendous. Worse is seeing it happen. 😰😱🤢🤮 But she smashed it. I dare not describe the mutilation I witnessed. Thankfully the boyfriend cleaned up the debris.

After all that drama and mayhem, my nerves were shot. It sent me on a tear. (See definitions 1 and 2.)

Bugs like paper and I have lots of it in here: waiting-to-be-filed: manuscripts past and present, receipts, etc. as well as waiting-to-be-shredded.

Some of that paper will see the inside of our dumpster as soon as I go out today.

Perhaps it was a reminder from the Great One that I need to get my ass in high gear regarding my ongoing quest to free our living space of Things Which No Longer Serve Us.

As discussed in one of the many conversations I had with my friend yesterday, I keep stuff. He said I'm a hoarder. I consider myself a sentimental preserver because I keep things of remembrance: greeting cards (I have the one my mom gave me for my 16th birthday as well as the cards I got at Baby Bliss' baby shower 20-something years ago); some of Mr. Bliss' clothes/shoes/important papers; Baby Bliss' childhood artwork and report cards; old diaries and journals; income tax filings dating back to the 80s including those spanning several marriages...

Some documents I've retained because of a few scary incidents in my past that necessitated me having to prove I did or didn't engage in some thing that could have had serious consequences (fines, penalties, and/or jail time) had I not been able to prove my involvement or lack thereof in said activity.

Seriously.

However, I do acknowledge that some of those documents could probably be disposed of without negative repercussions.

I also know that to move forward, one must be willing to leave the past behind. Or, as my friend and I discussed recently (and on a few other occasions), "What are you willing to give up to get what you want?"

Part of me feels like I've given up so much already, unwillingly (Mr. Bliss, my dad). I know trying to hold on to that which cannot be held is ultimately foolish and possibly dangerous. I also know that memories are ours to hold in our hearts forever, until we are only memories.

Life...

It's a combination of so many things. Two of my favorite songs sum up those feelings for me.

One is Vivir Mi Vida.

The other is Rie y Llora.

- Once again, my neighbor's dog got loose and ran away from her. The first time was back in early fall, when the dog and my neighbor were new companions. She took the dog out for a walk and thought it would go potty faster off the leash. 😑

The dog decided to explore the land.

Alone.

My neighbor was devastated. The dog was returned to her by animal control several days later.

This time the dog ran off when it was frightened by a different neighbor.

Allegedly.

My neighbor called me several times to tell me but I was otherwise engaged and couldn't answer. So she climbed my stairs and knocked at my door.

I had to talk to her as I peeked around the side of the door because I wasn't dressed. 😶  She told me the dog had gotten away again. I told her I'd get dressed and come down.

Long story short, we looked for the dog for a while and made a few stops to inquire and inform. No dog and two hours spent.

When I awoke this morning, there was a text from my neighbor saying the dog had returned.

Hallelujah.

- My friend and I have been enjoying excellent communication for a couple of weeks now. We talked numerous times yesterday, starting at 2 a.m. and ending close to midnight. We've talked twice today.

It feels like we're ramping up the excitement leading up to our anticipated visit and I'm really digging our interaction. According to him, he is too. 😊

I was anxious about going home but now I'm eager to get on the road.

Oh happy day! 💃

Time to change the scenery y'all. Gotta henna this head.

Ciao darlings. 💋

878.

Happy Saturday y'all.

I hope everyone is feeling well and somewhere safe.

I'm doing well.

Nodding and tired but here I am. 😩😄

It's been a long week and now the weekend is here. Hurray!

No special plans for me because last weekend was so busy: a birthday dinner for Baby Bliss, a graduation dinner for another family member, Mother's Day dinner too.

My weekend will be spent getting ready for my upcoming trip.

So much to-do on my list! Packing for sure but also (a)mending (a few dresses), crocheting (a gift for my host and possibly a belt for my dress), measuring and pouring (toiletries so I don't have to take whole 20 and 30 ounce bottles with me).

My friend and I had a two-hour conversation earlier. We rang off about 45 minutes ago. He works overnights so we talked as he worked. He's on the very short list of folk I'll be seeing when I'm home and I'm excited. 💗

It's been six years since we've seen each other in person.

I'm having a bit of a row with my packing list. We can't seem to agree on what attire I'm actually taking with me. Some favorites for sure but there are also new things that should go too.

As well, the dress I originally planned to wear to the quinceañera has a rival. My first choice is a close-fitting evening gown in a deep, rich chocolate. It features a plunging v-neck and tank top style straps, a fitted bodice, and a crocheted spider web overlay that starts right under the breastbone and extends down a few inches.

I've had the dress for several years and worn it three times. (A retirement party, a wedding, and Baby Bliss' birthday dinner several years ago. Two of those events were in 2014.)

My jewelry (a cocktail ring and 2-inch half hoop earrings) is rose gold with faux gemstones.

The "alternate" dress is black. Long and sleek in a fabric I absolutely love. It's sleeveless. I can wear the same jewelry I planned to wear with the brown dress so that's a plus. If I have time, I'll crochet a beaded belt for the dress before I get outta here.

That's all for now folks. I've been awake since 7:30 yesterday morning. Sleep beckons. 😴

More later...

Smooches y'all. 💋💋💋

877.

Hello and how-do folks?

I hope everyone is safe and happy.

We're doing just swell in these parts. Baby Bliss and I are looking at a torrential rain through our living room window and wondering how we're going to get safely to our 6:30 soiree.

The plans for my trip home are prancing along at a proper pace. 🐎

I have my dress, jewelry, and shoes for the quinceañera. My dress is sleeveless so I'll need a jacket or sweater, maybe a long sheer scarf to use as a wrap.

My accommodations were secured a few days ago. Thank God because that's been a source of anxiety for the past couple of months (more on that later as well). But now that my bed and board are assured, I've been anxious for another reason.

Maybe "anxious" isn't the proper word. More like nervous excitement... (Is that the same as anxious?)

It's all for the greater good (Let us pray🙏🏽!) so there will be lots of meditating and inhaling of lavender essential oil in the meantime.

Due to the availability dates of my lodging, I'll be heading out two days later than originally scheduled. But I'm not fretting. It still gets me home a day before the party.

It's also possible that those two days will be added at the end of my trip (so says me), which I'm currently open to and perhaps looking forward to. 🤫

My schedule is flexible... 😉

Well looka there! The rain has stopped. 😃

However, we are now under a tornado warning. 😨

I guess it's a good time to start my packing list. 🖋🗒

876.

Good morning my dears. 

I hope this post finds everyone happy and healthy.

I'm... here. Thankful and I do believe fairly healthy.

So much has happened since my last post... But that's what passes for "normal" in my life, lots happening.

Would I have it any other way? I'm not sure.

Let's get the sad news out of the way first:

- The death toll has risen. My godmother's husband died. I think it's been a month. 💔

- There was a shooting at a university where a family member works. Sadly, two young men were murdered. Four others were shot and are hospitalized. Thankfully my family member wasn't on campus when it happened so was not harmed. 

My prayers for peace and healing for everyone affected by this horrific act.

🌸 🌸 🌸

Happy news:

- Baby Bliss will be celebrating her birthday soon and The Royal Court is gathering. One attendant has already arrived. The two of them are currently sleeping in Baby Bliss' room. The birthday dinner won't have as many celebrants as last year but the festivities will span several days.

- Miss L, a senior neighbor, invited me to a Mother's Day cookout via messenger (her brother). She and her brother are roommates and she and I met when I visited her brother to tell him that daddy had died. Miss L and I saw each other again at another neighbor's birthday cookout. 

I was told that she thought I was a very nice person and she wanted me to come enjoy the day with her family. A couple of other neighbors said Miss L's family cookouts are legendary so yes, I will be going and I'm thankful for the invite. (And the sweet compliment.)

- I'll be heading home for a long weekend soon, for a cousin's quinceañera. I'm excited for a number of reasons, one or two of which I've alluded to in previous posts. It will definitely be an interesting trip. Stay tuned for details.

🌸 🌸 🌸

In other news, the suitors have been ramping it up in the past few weeks. No one new because I'm not actively using my online dating profile. These are familiar suitors: the Athlete, the Astronaut, Mr. Skittish, and The Other Guy (who lives in the neighborhood and grew up with a neighbor I'm fairly close with).

- I actually had dinner with The Other Guy a week or so ago. He's... different. Dinner was... interesting. Our before and after interaction is/was... strange, even by my standards.

But it's all good. He's who he is and I'm who I am. I like him as a friend.

Maybe we'll hang out again. Maybe not. He did ask me out again, after that dinner. He'd also asked me out before. I accepted but changed my mind later. He never asked me why and I didn't bring it up. Then there was the dinner.

I think he lives in a different emotional/mental/psychological space than I do. Which is cool in a friend but a definite no-no for someone I might date.

We see each other in passing in the neighborhood. We speak. He texts me sometimes; I text back...

- The Athlete and I hadn't spoken in over a month. We had gotten to a stage in our relationship where we weren't dating but we would see each other and talk/text occasionally. In March he did something that let me know it was time to cut things off with him.

He didn't agree with my assessment of the situation, which was fine. I still get final say on who I cavort with. 

He texted me last week, joking about some things we'd done in the past. I was polite but unamused. When he asked to see me, I told him no.

It's possible that at some future date I might change my mind but let's not hold our collective breath folks.

- The Astronaut and I have been texting sporadically, pleasantries and an occasional photo.

- Mr. Skittish has called and texted a few times in the past week, checking on me and flirting. He said he might come to town one weekend soon. I told him to let me know when, so we can hang out if I'm in town.

Honestly, right now I'm in a holding pattern where real dating is concerned. There is something (someone) I want (I think...) and sometimes we have to give up something to get something. So I'm giving up real dating in the present to possibly get what I want in the future.

Time will reveal all to everyone, me included. 😆😘

And now, I must bid y'all a fond adieu. I've been awake almost 24 hours and it's not good. The dinner party is scheduled for pedicures this afternoon. If I lay down now, it's possible I'll get three hours of sleep.

Toodles!