797.

Happy Sunday folks and blessed be!

I hope everyone is somewhere safe and happy, physically and mentally.

It's been a very relaxing day chez Bliss.

I've been eating and drinking with abandon: a half cup of strawberries, two fried eggs and a cup of cinnamon applesauce -- organic cinnamon...

Lots of talking and texting with one of my sistas as well as a few would-be paramours.

I also got a call from the ex-husband and I'm happy to say he's still with us. (Side note: I still plan to call him later this week. Something was definitely off about that call last night.)

Surprisingly, I've gotten several (four - 4) offers for same-day dates today. I say "surprisingly" because if I recall correctly, Sunday is usually pretty slow on the dating site.

To them I say: thank you for your interest however we won't be meeting if we have nothing in common.

But I've been noticing a trend lately. It seems that men in the 50-and-over demographic -- in addition to being (mostly) immature -- are all singing the same Al Green song:

My momma was a huge Al Green fan and I love this song. (Check out his hair too y'all.)  And sometimes I don't like being alone either. But desperation has a bad smell to it. So does wanting to be in a relationship to ensure being "taken care of" by someone in old age or illness.

Now if all parties enter the relationship with an understanding of the exact terms and all agree, then by all means, rock on.

If I've said it once here, I've said it often and will again: my next long-term partner will be everything I need and at least 98 percent of what I want.

I do believe in love! I do believe in love. I do, I do, I do, I do, I do believe in love! 💕💕💕

And I want everyone else to believe in love too. But I get it that some may not. 😞

My prayer for me: that I am always content enough to enjoy my own company and loved enough to have someone willing to help me when I need it.

Amen. 😌

796.

Good, good, good evening everyone. 👋🏽👋🏽👋🏽

It's been an interesting day chez Bliss. Mostly relaxing and quiet but there was a bit of excitement.

Several hours of my day were spent talking to a few guys I met on one of the online dating sites I'm registered with.

The conversations were... interesting. Maybe I should no longer be amazed at the (relative) immaturity of men in the 50-and-over demographic but I am. 😞

Don't misunderstand me folks. There is nothing wrong with being youthful. Childish, on the other hand, is a total turn off. 👎🏽 Sadly, the two are often mistaken for being interchangeable. 😞

In other news, I received a strange phone call from one of my ex-husbands today. He said he was in town for an event.

Cool.

I thought he was gonna say he wanted to hang out or meet for dinner.

He didn't so I asked him if he wanted to meet. He said he wouldn't be able to. I asked him several questions about his visit and his answers were odd, cryptic. Like he couldn't say what he wanted to say or wouldn't for some odd reason.

It was a strange conversation, like a something important was hanging in the silence.

Then he said he would see me next time he came to town. I agreed and we rang off.

Unsettling. 😕

About an hour ago I texted him to ask if he's okay. No response. Nothing for me to do at this point except say a prayer for his safety and make a note to call him one day next week.

Stay tuned...

795.

Happy Saturday folks.

It's a dreary day chez Bliss.

Inside, my home looks like a small tornado touched down and the clean up has yet to begin. Outside, the skies are white, white, white. It rained earlier and the cloud cover remains intact.

No worries because although I've been thinking about making a plantain chips run, I probably won't go out today.

I stayed in last night because I was tired. The guy who asked me to hang out texted me a shirtless photos a few hours after I told him I wasn't coming out. Funny and enticing but if you've seen one pic of sexy super-tight chocolate abs, you've seen 'em all, yes? 😯😬😜

If he'd sent me a picture of chicken nachos or lemon pepper wings, I might have been able to energize myself enough to meet him for dinner. 😁

I'm feeling sluggish right now. Probably too much glucose in my system because I ate a peach for breakfast. Should have eaten almonds with it.

Nothing much on the telly except cooking shows and cartoons. I do enjoy some of the cooking shows but they make me hungry.

Oooohhh look! The skies have turned blue and the sun is now gracing our day.  🌞

Cool!

It's likely I'm still not going out but I'm gonna open my front door to let more light in. Not too wide though because I'll probably doze off at some point. I really am tired.

I'm also hungry but don't feel like cooking. 😫😪😩

Woe is me!

794.

Good morning and Happy Friday y'all!

It's another day of emotional overload for me. It's definitely a confluence of several things: my feelings about what happened between the Hunk and I, the current Mercury retrograde, whatever hormonal phase I'm in right now due to my menstrual cycle and peri-menopause...

When I woke up, I felt fine. I've had a busy day talking to friends, doing laundry, washing dishes, fixing and eating lunch. It's only been in the past hour or two that I've begun to feel like I don't want to see or talk to anyone.

I went out to sweep my porch about 20 minutes ago and a hummingbird flew up to me, inches from my face. It looked at me, fluttered it's wings at hyper-speed for a few seconds, then flew back the way it had come.

Shocked and delighted, I immediately thought of the Hunk and burst into tears. 😟 One of the evenings we sat intertwined on his front steps, we observed and talked about all the hummingbirds flitting about in his yard and his neighbor's yard across the street.

I've lived here five years and while I have seen a few hummingbirds from a distance in the past several months (a downstairs neighbor one building over has a bird feeder in her yard), this is the first time in my life that I've had a personal visit from a hummingbird.

Blessed be!

Tears streaming, I googled the hummingbird totem and was immediately comforted by what I read.

If any of you want to know what it was, it's here: Hummingbird Animal Totem and Symbolic Hummingbird Meanings and here: Hummingbird Medicine (I love this one. 💕)

Speaking of Mercury retrograde, I know some of you are wondering if any of the exes have come calling.

Of course they have.  😎

One guy (who I won't name but who's been mentioned more times than any other guy I've dated over the years) contacted me online asking if he could call me. Short story: the answer was no.

Another guy -- let's call him the Jock -- (who I had one date with last year and didn't care to see again and who's been asking me off and on for another date for a year) invited me out last weekend. I went because I'd been inside all week and wanted to get out.

It wasn't what I'd call a date. He was out of town for an event and visiting family. I drove up Friday afternoon, hung out with him until late afternoon, met his grandma (a sweetheart) and mom (a pistol and a lot of fun), hung out with him and his mom that evening, slept on his sofa overnight, and headed back home before noon the next day.

There was a Goodwill up the street from where we stayed. Of course I had to make a pit stop on my way home. Two hours later, I left with a skirted bikini bottom in navy blue.

All in all, it was a pleasant enough distraction.

So now, a week later, homeboy is still calling and texting me. I'm not sure what his end game is but my bad for hanging out with dude.

Yes, yes, yes, it is true that I am a woman with a certain je ne sais quoi. And I know it makes me irresistible to a certain segment of the population. 😘

However, nothing remotely romantic happened between the Jock and I. We talked, laughed, ate, went to a social event (where about 95 percent of my time was spent with his momma because he was otherwise engaged), and slept in the same room.

He did bring up the fact that he'd recently retired from his second job and was contemplating retiring this year (a year early) from his decades-long career in sports. He also casually (?) mentioned that he could expect a rather hefty monthly income in retirement due to a canny investment made early in his career.

Ummm... Okay.

I have a rule about discussing money with people, their money or mine: I don't, unless it is absolutely necessary. With a few rare exceptions, I stick to this rule. There are friends who have known me for decades, know nothing about my finances, and never will.

The Jock's revelations made me uncomfortable. One, because I don't need to know anything about his money. Two, because I wasn't sure why he told me.

My guess is that it was bait of some sort.

Although I sometimes joke with my family that my next marriage will be for money (because I have always married for love), I am not and will never be the much-maligned gold digger.

True, my next partner will be a generous man of means. 😉 But there has to be so much more than that. Any man who would woo me using his money, influence, or acquaintances is a man who believes one or more of those things is the best he can offer me.

And sadly, if he believes it, it is so. 😔

No thank you.

My man and I will be good to and for each other, madly in love, best friends, incredible lovers, and compatible in all the ways that will make our relationship Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious.  😍😍😍

Seriously.

Any who folks, this post has taken way too long to write. I've taken a lunch break, laundry breaks, bathroom breaks... 

I think I need a nap. 

I also have an offer of a date at 7 with a guy I've gone out with before. He knows we're not each other's type. He just wants someone to hang out with tonight. 

He's cool so we'll see. 😄

793.

Howdy folks.

A sista is tired.

I went out for groceries today. It was a three-store adventure. First was my local grocery store, where I intended to get one item (plantain chips). Like I was really gonna get outta there with one item... 😜

There were several items on sale that I absolutely needed and $30 later, I was heading for the parking lot and my second stop.

At Aldi (second stop) I picked up two of my favorite and most necessary items: a seeded watermelon and almond butter. Another $30 spent.

At Target, my third and final stop, I found what I'd been craving: organic peaches. I also treated myself to my favorite flavor of Kevita. After grabbing a few staples (eggs, grapes, apples...), I sashayed over to self-checkout.

Another $22 shucked from my wallet and I was outta there.

During my shopping spree, I saw several things that reminded me of the Hunk. My mind drifted to thoughts of our time together and the aftermath (which would be now until...).

Maybe it's just because it's that time of the month but I had to fight to hold my tears. Literally. Mainly because I was out and didn't want to muss my make up.

I know for certain that he is not the man for me. Which does make me a little sad. I fell head over heels for the man I thought he was, the man he thought he was, the man I would love madly and forever if he had been the man he's not. 😞

We had so much in common, many similar life experiences, a chemistry that was off the charts...

And although I love where I live and didn't want to move to his location, although I didn't like riding in his sports car, even though I felt like his deck was unsafe, and I didn't like how he had electrical cords running under rugs and carpets, of all the men I've dated in the past few years, as of today, the Hunk is the one man I felt super connected to.

Even so, the issues that separate us -- that torment him -- are entirely too serious for me to even think about overlooking.

La vida... It is what it is, he is who he is, I am who I am. 😐

But there is also the red string...

It might sound weird to some of you, dear readers, but I know it will resonate with at least one of you. The Hunk and I share a karmic connection that is deeper than romance. A past-life situation, our DNA... I can't say for sure. But our birthmarks were mirror images and we had lots of moles in the same locations. Once he looked at a photo of us and said we looked like brother and sister. 😱 I did see a faint resemblance but not enough to say we were related. 😌

However, I logged into AncestryDNA one day while I was at his home and there was a list of last names for some sort of community DNA links. (If I understood correctly, community DNA links are links based on my DNA and the area I'm from.) Although there is no one in my family with the Hunk's last name (and I can trace back several generations on both sides), his last name was on my community DNA list.

That was freaky and gave me a creepy feeling. 😟😨

The time I spent with the Hunk is now catalogued in my personal history under Things I'll Probably Never Figure Out.

I don't mean why things didn't work out between us. I believe know that answer. My question is why we met at all. Although in a previous post I said I thought I knew, it's possible the complete answer may never be revealed to me. 😶

Que sera, sera...

As time passes, my gift for processing and releasing undesirable events will help the less-than-positive aspects of our interaction fade.

Good for me.

And although I don't believe I will ever see the Hunk again in real life, I know he will always lurk in the periphery of my waking thoughts, possibly visit me in my dreams.

My prayer for him: that he is one day able to receive healing and know the freedom that comes with self-acceptance and self-love.

My prayer for me: that I am ever more resilient, always willing to look at myself, see myself, and be ever willing to make any adjustment(s) necessary for my healing and highest good.

Amen.

792.

Good morning folks.

A few minutes ago I saw a video that I'm sharing here.

It's covers a topic that is sadly often taboo in the African-American community. I hope it helps someone.

DMC from Run DMC on Mental Health and why it's good to talk.

Amen.

791.

Hello everyone.

Just a quick update:

First, thank you to everyone for the prayers, positive energy, healing thoughts, and all things wonderful sent my way. I appreciate you all and send virtual rainbows 🌈, sparkles ✨✨✨, and lots of love 💕💕💕 in exchange.

An update on my dad: I talked to him today. He was in good spirits and his voice was strong but he was very forgetful. I know cognitive issues can be common post-stroke so I'm not overly worried but it is disquieting.

It's another reminder that daddy's health is definitely declining. My prayer for him is that he's at peace with his life and remembers that he is loved by many. Amen.

My grandma is healing quite well and has already resumed many of her favorite grandmotherly activities. 😁

Baby Bliss and I took in a movie earlier this evening. We saw "The Dark Tower".  Not as bad as some of the critics (both paid and those of the backseat driver variety) made it sound.

Yes, there were seven (or eight) books in the series. (None of which I read, big huge Stephen King fan that I am... 😩)

No, this movie does not have time to cover the whole series. Big whoop. There's no way I can think of to compress that much material into one movie and this one only runs for an hour and a half.

So why see the movie then complain that it didn't accurately reflect the books? 😆😐😶

Any way, Baby Bliss and I enjoyed lots of aspects of the movie. Maybe there will be another installment...

On another note, sometimes when I come home after dark there is a single cockroach waiting for me on my porch. It's always sitting right where it can be seen. I'm not sure if it's the same cockroach each time but it's like it's waiting to make sure I get in safely. 😉

If I've already shared this information, please forgive me. I don't remember and I'm not gonna go back to check. Also, some of you may not know either. What's a few re-hashed stories between friends right? 😁

But I'm sure lots of you know that I believe in signs and omens, dreams and red strings of fate, yes?

And there's the animal totem thing as well. Which also extends to insects. (Y'all know where this is going right?)

Although they are on my list of Things to Never Bring into the House, cockroaches do have an interesting totem story. If I shared it before, feel free to ignore the link. If you don't know what I'm talking about, read here: Cockroach Animal Totem.

G'night y'all.  😴😴😴