889.

Good morning good people! 💃🏽

I hope everyone is somewhere safe and happy.

Yesterday was busy here. I visited our William (who was still in a little pain but doing better by comparison). Baby Bliss was there, as were his dad and a few other visitors. I didn't stay long because he does need his rest but I wanted to say hello and show support in person as well as pass on well wishes, prayer notifications, etc.

It seems he'll be going home soon for close to a week before he'll be back in hospital for another round of treatment.

Thank you all for your continued prayers for William's healing. 💓

There was also continuation of a project for a client. We are co-creating dynamic new projects for 2020.

🌻 🌻 🌻

And now it's Dream Time!

Today's* dream scenes:

1. At my grandma's old house in our old home town. A man I was involved with (I think) was sleeping in the middle bedroom with me. I think we were in a sleeping bag. We didn't want anyone to know we were sleeping/had slept in the room together because we weren't supposed to sleep together at grandma's so we were vocalizing the lies we could tell if we got caught, to make it seem like one of us had just gotten to the room and hadn't been there all night.

2. We were were in the yard of a friend's home (or maybe it was a family member's home) out in a rural area for a family picnic. Maybe we were too loud for some because some other folk began complaining.

My family said not to worry because the other folk didn't live there but were only renting a nearby property for the day.

My cousin (the mother of the boy from yesterday's post) needed to go potty and found an outhouse. Bernie Mac (may he rest in peace) must have been mad at my cousin because he decided to set all the grass on fire near the outhouse. He also set fire to an abandoned house near the outhouse.

I told him I was gonna call cousin's husband (a big mean guy in waking life) and he (Bernie Mac) would be sorry. He bucked and talked trash, saying he didn't care, etc.

As I called 911, I realized I didn't know the address. 😬

Baby Bliss and I needed to go potty. We went to another home in the area and began exploring. When we were leaving, a young couple came to the door, trying to get in. I think they were with the "rental" folk. Baby Bliss pulled out a knife of some kind and as the young couple tried to walk into the house, she used the knife to manipulate the lock on the inside of the door so the door wouldn't open from the outside.

Before she pulled the door to, I realized I was barefoot and ran back in. My shoes were nowhere in sight but I did see a cute pair of chunky Dr. Scholl-type shoes on the floor just past the living room. I said to myself, "Cute" but still wondered where my shoes were.

3. I was on the front porch of a house with my friend R. (In waking life, I haven't seen her since last year. She is part of my intentional family, like K., who visited us over the 4th of July holiday. At one time the three of us worked together.)

R. and I were waiting for her youngest son to return to the porch. There was a huge cat perched on the porch railing. I played with kitty's luxurious fur while we waited and R. told me how much they loved kitty. Her son returned with his new kitten.


(*Usually my dreams take place on the same day I blog about them because I rarely go to sleep before midnight, with some exceptions of course.)

888.

(I began writing this in the early morning on Wednesday, Nov. 7, 2019 and finished right before posting today. I didn't finish or post it yesterday because I got sidetracked.)

Good morning everyone.

I hope this will be a safe and wonderful day for everyone.

I'm feeling optimistic this morning after learning that our William's new pain meds have given him some respite. 🙌🏾  I'm praying it's a viable solution for the long-term. 🙏🏾

Thank you all for your continued prayers. 💗

🌻 🌻 🌻

Seems I haven't blogged about my dreams in a while. One reason is because I went through a period of being able to recall only snippets of them. It was very frustrating because my dreams are such an integral part of my life that I felt off balance.

My dreams during that period were as action-packed, vivid, and revealing as ever but I couldn't remember the details, only snatches of shadowy images. 😩

Well, I'm happy to say that I once again have enough recall to make me feel whole again. 😀

A quick and dirty rundown (because today will be busy) of what I recall at this moment:


- Monday's dreams:

1. I was in a school being chased by a bear. As I rounded hallways, I shouted to everyone that a bear was coming, that they should run or hide. There were small children in the halls. I'm not sure who ran or hid because I didn't look back.

2. I got to my mom's (the apartment I grew up in, in waking life) and dropped my purse on the floor. As I was closing her front door, I realized someone was after me. I decided to climb down the balconies (three stories up from the ground) to get away. I realized my car keys were in my purse and went to retrieve it, so who ever was after me couldn't steal my car and just in case I needed the car to further my getaway. I woke up before I made it all the way down.


- Wednesday's dream:

1. There were supposed to be three of us (myself, Baby Bliss, and someone I don't remember) going to Paris. I realized we hadn't packed and went in search of suitcases. We were at my grandma's old house in our hometown. All the suitcases were in her basement.

I asked what time we needed to get to the airport (5:30). In the next scene Baby Bliss and I were at an evening church service when I remembered we needed to be at the airport. My watch said 5:17 p.m. and I panicked a bit.


- This morning's dream:

I was on a city bus. A pregnant woman got on and stood in the aisle while waiting for someone to help her to a seat. A man who didn't know her helped her and sat next to her. They conversed in Spanish (she thanked him for helping her, he acknowledged). The bus driver told the man that the woman spoke English. The woman and man spoke a few words to each other in accented English then resumed their conversation in Spanish.

The bus became a tour bus and one of the other passengers was the ex of Baby Bliss's godmother. When our bus arrived at our destination, someone had to remind me to get my belongings from the overhead bin.

I disembarked and saw one of my cousin's (adult) sons. He began throwing rocks at me, saying he wanted me to be his friend. One of the rocks hit me on the shoulder and I threatened him with bodily harm if I was hit again.

I was in a kitchen with someone, looking down at a huge grassy area below. I saw my cousin's son again, running from a kangaroo. He stopped and I thought the kangaroo would attack him. He (and another young man) began singing in hauntingly beautiful voices.

🌻 🌻 🌻

That's it for now folks. Time to skedaddle. Wishing you all a beautiful day!

K.

887.

Hello everyone.

I hope you all are somewhere safe and happy today.

I'm doing my best despite the hits that seem to keep coming.

Today I visited our William in hospital, where he's been since last week.

Our young man has experienced a few setbacks since his diagnosis. We learned that his medical condition is more serious than what we knew prior to the start of his hospital stay.

Additionally, on the day he went to hospital to start his treatment, he broke a bone several hours later. (In hospital.) The start of his treatment had to be delayed by a day while the medical professionals tried to figure out what was causing excruciating pain with the slightest movement or touch.

Thankfully he was able to start treatment on Tuesday. Eventually the doctors learned of the broken bone but it took another few days to get his pain managed enough to get a cast on him. The best option would have been a surgical repair but that's not a current option for him because it would have further delayed the treatment he needs for the more serious condition.

As well, pain management in general has been difficult to maintain and they've had to adjust and change his pain meds and dosages quite a few times in the past week.

It is heart wrenching to see a loved one suffer so. We're all praying for the best outcome for this whole ordeal.

🌼 🌼 🌼

Today was my third (grief) therapy session. Coupled with phone therapy that I've been utilizing with one of the resources I was given, I feel like I'm managing my anxiety better than I was several weeks ago.

It's challenging. Each time something else happens with William, I feel like I'm falling into the terrifying abyss. One that I managed to escape from once and thought if it ever appeared again, I'd be able to sidestep it because now it can't trick me into coming near because I recognize it and I'm too smart for it.

Instead I'm reminded of how human I am, how fragile life is, how people we love (including ourselves) can be in situations we feel are beyond our ability to assist with, and how the resulting pain and sadness can slide us down into that dark hole and we feel like we won't stop falling.

That was me a few hours ago, after I got home and processed today's visit with William. I know him to be a capable young man, well-spoken, funny, chivalrous, intelligent, loving. To see him struggling to overcome pain and uncertainty feels overwhelming at times.

An awful reminder of how unfair life can be, how the Wheel turns and stops right at the spot where you were hoping it wouldn't. 💔

I know this is temporary, temporary, temporary. That's what I keep repeating to myself, what I know to be true. Sometimes it helps. Sometimes it doesn't.

But I'll keep saying it. And I'm hoping it's what he's saying to himself and that it helps somehow.

And I'll keep praying, and meditating, and doing the other things that help me and that help me be there for him and the others when I need to be and when I can be.

And once again, thank you all for your continued prayers for William's healing and for us all, for peace in the midst of this storm. 💓🕊

Amen.

K.

886.

Hello everyone.

I hope you are all somewhere safe and doing well.

It's been a little over a week since I've seen our William but I spoke with him today. He said he was tired but feeling a little better because of a new medication that's helping with the pain and allowing him to rest and sleep.

His treatment plan has him starting a week-long in-patient stay soon.

He still has a long way to go so thank you all for keeping the prayers going.

Other family members (including Baby Bliss, with her nurse's spirit) are assisting with his care. I'm so thankful that my baby is able to help others in this way.

🌸 🌸 🌸

For me, today was a better day than yesterday and I'm thankful.

William's situation has been disheartening for me. I believe he will overcome this challenge. What gives me anxiety is that his climb to healthier is just beginning and the hill is steep.

If we parents could take on any pain our children might encounter in their lives, would we not hesitate to let them live free of all discomfort? Is this what his parents are thinking?

Since his diagnosis, I have been experiencing physical symptoms that I'm working hard to get under control. I know the reason for my distress: I am re-living traumatic events from my past that I don't want to acknowledge here or even to myself.

Prayer, healing music, essential oils, and talking things out is all helpful but not yet eradicating the thoughts and images playing in my mind at uncomfortable intervals.

It's all temporary, yes. But when it happens, it's frightening. I feel powerless.

Yesterday I made an appointment to return to counseling (I did four years of grief counseling after Mr. Bliss died). My first appointment is Tuesday morning.

But I was distraught yesterday and needed a listening ear. I was not suicidal but I needed to speak with someone neutral. I called the Suicide Prevention Lifeline (800-273-8255) and I'm thankful I did.

The woman I spoke with helped me find resources that will help William . Another woman I spoke with provided more resources, also helpful.

Today I stayed in bed later than usual, only rising when my friend called to check on me. He's aware of William's situation and how I feel about it. He met William when he visited Baby Bliss and I last month and he's concerned as well.

When we last spoke (Monday), I cried and cried. We talked until his bedtime. Tuesday and Wednesday I felt his ear needed a break. Even with the few I consider friends, it sometimes feels like I'm wearing out my welcome if I "need" too much. Being self-sufficient is something I've always loved about myself but the older I get, the more I understand why God gifts us with friends.

Tomorrow morning will be busy here. Time for sleep.

In closing I have another prayer request, for me: that I am able to regain and keep my equilibrium so that I may be more able to support William and his care takers to the best of my abilities while being able to maintain my own health.

Thank you all in advance.

With love and gratitude,

K.

885.

Hello everyone.

Today my heart is heavy. A member of our family is moving through a serious healing crisis.

I come with a request: please keep us all lifted in prayer with positive thoughts and energy for William's healing as he moves through this challenging time.

I believe in the power of the energy of group prayer and I thank you all in advance for helping our family.

(And if I'm not here for a while, please re-read this post every time you visit the blog and please keep those positive prayers going.)

With love and gratitude,

K.

884.

Happy Saturday y'all.

I hope everyone is somewhere safe and in good spirits.

We're doing well here.

The hurricane (Dorian) caused some destruction along the coast of our state and I heard that a tornado spawned by same also touched down south of us.

Our local weather guy said some areas near us got rain but thankfully our local area only experienced cloudy skies and wind.

Today has been chill chez Bliss. Baby Bliss felt awful when she woke up this morning so she called out for the day. I believe she's off tomorrow as well.

Tomorrow shall be a day of fun and family for us. My friend is coming to stay with us for a few days of his vacation.

We have a loose agenda: the mountains, dinner for my birthday (another one!), dinner with grandma and the aunties, hanging out here with Baby Bliss. We'll probably have lunch at my favorite park a few times too.

I'm excited and so is Baby Bliss. It's been many years since they've seen each other.

The weather is forecast to be in the 90s here and 80s in the mountains.

883.

Hello, hello, hello folks!

I know, I know!

I'm late. Please forgive me. Life has been busy as all get out. Seriously.

Before I divulge the details of what I've been doing these past two months, let me first offer prayers for comfort and healing for everyone in the Bahamas (and other locales) who have been affected by the devastation of Hurricane Dorian.

My prayers as well for those who are in Dorian's path. Ideally he will head back to sea and die there.

The destructive power of these weather events seems to be increasing with each episode. God only knows what's coming next. 😩

🌸 🌸 🌸

So what have you been up to?

I have been quite the socialite lately. 💄💅👠💃

In the past week, I've been to three birthday celebrations. 🎂 🎈🎁🍹

One was a dinner party for a neighbor's daughter. The other was a girls' night out/birthday celebration for the founder of a group I'm a member of. The third celebration was for my birthday.

🍴The dinner party was at a nearby restaurant. We were a boisterous group of (maybe) 10. Most folks ordered lobster. (Which I wanted also but decided not to order.) I choose three delicious sides for my meal: a baked sweet potato, mac and cheese, and steamed asparagus.

The birthday girl got a free sundae from the restaurant and her mom had a beautiful cake for her. The cake was good but not as good as it looked like it would be. (They said it was "homemade" but you couldn't tell by looking at it. It was as professionally ornate as any cake I've seen in a bakery showcase. And it was tasty. Just not as spectacular-tasting as I expected based on a similarly gorgeous cake I ate in a previous life. So I take nothing from the baker. It was just me reminiscing.)

👯 Our girls' night out birthday party was at the home of a group member. She was a fantastic hostess and the evening was so much fun that we were there for six hours eating, drinking, laughing, dancing, talking...

We're supposed to make it a regular thing for monthly birthdays, much like the other group I belonged to when I was friends with Miz A.

🍔 My birthday celebration was a belated one. My friend L told me a while ago that she wanted to treat me to a meal for my birthday. I'd forgotten but she remembered. 😊 We met for a long lunch last Friday. I love hanging out with her and we just don't do it often enough. We met through our children (my daughter and her granddaughter have been friends since grade school) and L and her family have become family over time.💗

🌸 🌸 🌸

Today a neighbor invited me to lunch. He's a nice gentleman. Older. Like, my dad's age. We have interesting visits when we run into each other in the neighborhood.

We usually sit out in the community rocking chairs and chat. Sometimes it's just us. Sometimes there are other neighbors too.

His lunch invite was impromptu but I suspect he's been holding it for a while. We ate at a restaurant in the area, one I'd been wanting to try after hearing so many good reviews. The food was so-so. Not what I expected based on the reviews. *shrug*

Perhaps a different menu item will be better on my next visit. Or a different chef or a different time of day. I'm willing to give it another shot. 😋

My neighbor mentioned several times how glad he was to be out and about today because home was boring. He once lived in one of the Biggest Big Cities on the east coast and he misses it. I think it got too expensive up there. He has family in this area and he was born and raised in a city about two hours away.

I felt a little sad when he began telling me how his family comes to visit sparingly, to take him to appointments and run errands, dropping him off and leaving right after. I really want his family to pay more attention because I noticed that he's showing signs of cognitive decline and his vision is off as well.

He asked me the same questions several times, he asked me to read the menu to him, and he had a time managing his food and drink. 😩

These kinds of situations give me anxiety. I don't know his family and I'm not sure how they might react to this kind of information coming from a stranger. 😕 My prayer is that my neighbor's situation is resolved with the best outcome for all involved. Amen.

🌸 🌸 🌸

In other news, Baby Bliss has enrolled in college. Physics. I'm awed. She is exceptionally bright, that one. Apparently to a degree I didn't understand.

Before she started class (and a new job), she took a cross-country trip 🚘 to the Rocky Mountains 🌄⛰with some friends. They had an amazing time, so said Baby Bliss. She kept in touch the whole way, texting photos and tidbits about everything fantastic on their journey.

Can I tell y'all how thankful I am for the wondrous technology that allows us to keep in (almost) constant contact with our babies even when they're on the other side of the country? 💕

🌸 🌸 🌸

Several weeks ago, the aunties and I converged upon grandma's house, to see to some electrical work that needed doing. We didn't do it, just watched and waited. The electrician was a family friend, and yes, a real electrician. He and his wife came to do the job. She was cool.

After the work was done, grandma and the aunties got into my car and I drove around the corner to Baby Auntie's community pool for the annual community yard sale/shindig. We grabbed vittles from a couple of food trucks and noshed at a picnic table under a shade tree.

🌸 🌸 🌸

On August 7, like folks nationwide, I attended National Night Out. Ours was at the park up the street. Seemed like the whole town turned out to meet and greet with our law enforcement and other first responders.

There was all kinds of food, drinks, treats, raffle prizes, and more. Many of my neighbors were there. We had a rip-roaring time of it. I even won a prize. 🎉🎉🎉

🌸 🌸 🌸

The first Saturday in August found a neighbor and I at a huge rummage sale at a church several exits north of us. We literally shopped until we dropped. And I only dropped because some of my things were heavy. (Books.)

I found some incredible deals, the most notable being a large soft-sided piece of luggage for $1. My favorite purchase was a laptop bag for $1. It's light blue and black, with short handles and a long strap, padded, and it has an outside pocket. It also looks brand new and is much nicer than a similar bag I bought at a store for $10 in June. 😭

Some things I bought were for grandma: a scarf that reminded me of a blouse she used to have; a white sleeveless cotton button-front blouse that reminded me of blouses she wore when I was young; a lace-covered ivory camisole in a nicely-weighted fabric that feels like butter.

I also bought a few purses ($1 each) and more (exquisite!) scarves for 50 cents each. There was a lovely set of burgundy pillowcases as well. (Along with a set of sheets, the pillowcases went to a neighbor who was settling into a new space with no time to do laundry.)

Thank God for the giant blue IKEA bag stashed in my trunk. It came in handy for dragging my haul inside.

🌸 🌸 🌸

Looks like this post has gotten long enough, yes? Well then, July shall have its own dispatch.

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