893.

Greetings everyone.

Sending Love, Light, and Prayers to you all as we navigate this healing crisis. 💓✨✨🙏🏾

Today started out rough but I'm thankful for all that is Well and Wonderful. 🙌🙌🏾

Good news I've seen today:

1. Coronavirus treatment: vaccines/drugs in the pipeline for COVID-19
2. Oxford scientists develop new coronavirus test that provides results in just 30 minutes 

Music I use during Reiki sessions and to help with anxiety. Hopeful that it will soothe someone's spirit in the days to come. 💓💓

Please make every attempt to stay safe folks! 💓

892.

Good day folks.

I hope everyone is healthy and safe. 🙏🏾

So far, so good on our end. 🙌🏾

The first dream I recall from this morning was about my dad. He was in a nursing home, a huge one. (So maybe it was a hospital.) I was there to visit him but wasn't sure it would be allowed because of COVID-19. We were allowed two short visits in his room then I got in some kind of trouble with the nursing home authorities and was called into the office.

In the dream after, I was telling my uncle that I'd seen my dad. But even as I was telling my uncle in the dream, I thought to myself that visiting my dad was a dream because daddy is dead now.

I don't recall any detailed details because I was jolted awake by my alarm, always a bad feeling and a rough way to start the day. 😳

No matter. It was good to see daddy. 💓

891.

Yes, I initiated this post the other day but it was incomplete because I had to run. Updating now...

🌸 🌸 🌸

Hello everyone.

I hope everyone is safe and in good health, especially considering the state of the world right now. I am praying for us all.

As usual, there is lots happening in my life. Some of it ongoing.

The angst about COVID-19 abounds. There are now 19 confirmed cases in my state. I'm not much concerned about me but about about neighbors, friends, and family members who are in high risk groups.

While I have been out every day, I am now thinking about staying in. Schools and universities are being shuttered. Employees are being encouraged to work from home if possible...

And with what I've seen when I've been out, these measures are necessary.

Yesterday I was in several stores and noticed cashiers in two stores wipe their noses with their hands while in the midst of checking out customers. 😱😷

I believe actions like this are how and why COVID-19 is now a pandemic.

Some people are unsanitary either because they don't care or they don't know any better.

Today I was in a store and a woman was literally on my heels as I slowly walked an aisle. Why? 😠
If I had turned abruptly and stretched my arm out, I would have hit her in the face.

I've seen many news articles* from reputable sources that are urging us to boost our immune systems as a (possible) method of prevention. Whether or not that will work remains to be seen.

Everyone's immune system isn't the same. What works for one might not work for all in terms of boosting ability, dosages, etc.

Find something that seems to work for you and stick with it.

From the stories I'm reading about those who have had it and survived, it might be the best we have in terms of protection. 🙏🏾

While we wait this mess out, I am looking for everything Good and Wonderful to boost my Happy Quotient because it helps me lessen stress and for these things, I am grateful. 🙌🏾

Here is something beautiful I came across today: Italians are singing songs from their windows to boost morale during coronavirus lockdown.  💓



* Links to some articles:

1. Boost Immune System to Avoid COVID-19: Guardian
2. Foods to Boost the Immune System
3. One Way to Have a Healthy Outlook on COVID-19... 
4. Sick of getting sick? Super-boost your immune system (This one doesn't mention COVID-19 specifically but is listed under "Manage health conditions: Colds and Flu".)

890.

Hello folks.

I hope you are all somewhere safe, have everything you need...

Looks like it's been over three months since I was here last. So much has happened. Some of it heart-wrenching.

Thankfully I'm still in therapy.

Since November:

• As part of his treatment, William had the surgery to remove part of a limb. He is now in physical therapy as well as continuing the original treatments needed to save his life. For the most part he is doing well and we are thankful. 💓
• A friend, my classmate from second grade until high school graduation, who recently lived near me briefly as he worked for a large corporation in the Big City, lost his wife. I was devastated when he told me her illness had recurred and later that it was terminal.💔 I loved them as a couple, both doing things in the community to help African-Americans, make us proud, and help us become (more) self-sufficient. I wasn't able to attend her services (Valentine's Day and the day after) because there was much going on here...
• Grandma and I spent Valentine's Day together. We had lunch then went shopping. It was a good day. 💓
• My neighbor, who has become family in the years I've lived in the neighborhood, lost her dad. He was in hospital for a scheduled procedure the night before Valentine's Day when he had a stroke. He was put on a ventilator and deteriorated rapidly. That Saturday morning, everyone (who wasn't already there) was called to the hospital to say our goodbyes. Her dad was well-known and loved in our area and both family waiting areas were overflowing with people coming and going to and from his room, from the time I arrived until I left the hospital at 7 p.m. ❤ In the wee hours of Sunday morning I received a text saying he was gone. When I got up Sunday morning, I went over to my neighbor's and again every day until the following Sunday (the day after the funeral). The days in between were a lesson for me in the ways of southern funeral traditions. People began coming on Sunday and the flow was constant until it trickled the following Sunday. ❤ Either Sunday or Monday, the funeral home came to my neighbor's and dropped of chairs for visitors, the lighted podium with the guest book and pen, put signs at either end of the street that said, "Slow. Funeral", and a "funeral" flower arrangement beside the front door. I had never seen anything like this but apparently it's what's done. (Here's an article I found that mentions the custom: Signs now signify a death in the family) ❤ The food and drinks began coming on Monday. As more family arrived, food was cooked at the house. Everyone who dropped by signed the book, gave words of condolence and hugs, and were offered food and drink. ❤ The funeral was held at the biggest church in our small town because so many were expected. It was a service befitting what I knew of his life. Lots of people: family, friends, former co-workers, the mayor of our town, members of the general community... ❤ By the Sunday following his service, I was exhausted. On Monday I had a mini-breakdown in the parking lot of the supermarket, a release of all the grief and other emotions I had absorbed from everyone else. Since then I've been taking time to nurture and pamper myself.
• As last year ended, we were devastated at the loss of a younger family member under suspicious circumstances. Co-workers noticed he'd been absent for a couple of days without calling, an oddity. He was found at home a few days later, deceased. The "suspicious" part relates to an ongoing investigation regarding a co-worker of our family member. 💔

There has been a lot more of course but that's enough. 

It's a new month and I have lots to do today.

My heartfelt "thank you" for the continued prayers, healing thoughts, and positive energy you all continue to send our way. 💓

More later...

889.

Good morning good people! 💃🏽

I hope everyone is somewhere safe and happy.

Yesterday was busy here. I visited our William (who was still in a little pain but doing better by comparison). Baby Bliss was there, as were his dad and a few other visitors. I didn't stay long because he does need his rest but I wanted to say hello and show support in person as well as pass on well wishes, prayer notifications, etc.

It seems he'll be going home soon for close to a week before he'll be back in hospital for another round of treatment.

Thank you all for your continued prayers for William's healing. 💓

There was also continuation of a project for a client. We are co-creating dynamic new projects for 2020.

🌻 🌻 🌻

And now it's Dream Time!

Today's* dream scenes:

1. At my grandma's old house in our old home town. A man I was involved with (I think) was sleeping in the middle bedroom with me. I think we were in a sleeping bag. We didn't want anyone to know we were sleeping/had slept in the room together because we weren't supposed to sleep together at grandma's so we were vocalizing the lies we could tell if we got caught, to make it seem like one of us had just gotten to the room and hadn't been there all night.

2. We were were in the yard of a friend's home (or maybe it was a family member's home) out in a rural area for a family picnic. Maybe we were too loud for some because some other folk began complaining.

My family said not to worry because the other folk didn't live there but were only renting a nearby property for the day.

My cousin (the mother of the boy from yesterday's post) needed to go potty and found an outhouse. Bernie Mac (may he rest in peace) must have been mad at my cousin because he decided to set all the grass on fire near the outhouse. He also set fire to an abandoned house near the outhouse.

I told him I was gonna call cousin's husband (a big mean guy in waking life) and he (Bernie Mac) would be sorry. He bucked and talked trash, saying he didn't care, etc.

As I called 911, I realized I didn't know the address. 😬

Baby Bliss and I needed to go potty. We went to another home in the area and began exploring. When we were leaving, a young couple came to the door, trying to get in. I think they were with the "rental" folk. Baby Bliss pulled out a knife of some kind and as the young couple tried to walk into the house, she used the knife to manipulate the lock on the inside of the door so the door wouldn't open from the outside.

Before she pulled the door to, I realized I was barefoot and ran back in. My shoes were nowhere in sight but I did see a cute pair of chunky Dr. Scholl-type shoes on the floor just past the living room. I said to myself, "Cute" but still wondered where my shoes were.

3. I was on the front porch of a house with my friend R. (In waking life, I haven't seen her since last year. She is part of my intentional family, like K., who visited us over the 4th of July holiday. At one time the three of us worked together.)

R. and I were waiting for her youngest son to return to the porch. There was a huge cat perched on the porch railing. I played with kitty's luxurious fur while we waited and R. told me how much they loved kitty. Her son returned with his new kitten.


(*Usually my dreams take place on the same day I blog about them because I rarely go to sleep before midnight, with some exceptions of course.)

888.

(I began writing this in the early morning on Wednesday, Nov. 7, 2019 and finished right before posting today. I didn't finish or post it yesterday because I got sidetracked.)

Good morning everyone.

I hope this will be a safe and wonderful day for everyone.

I'm feeling optimistic this morning after learning that our William's new pain meds have given him some respite. 🙌🏾  I'm praying it's a viable solution for the long-term. 🙏🏾

Thank you all for your continued prayers. 💗

🌻 🌻 🌻

Seems I haven't blogged about my dreams in a while. One reason is because I went through a period of being able to recall only snippets of them. It was very frustrating because my dreams are such an integral part of my life that I felt off balance.

My dreams during that period were as action-packed, vivid, and revealing as ever but I couldn't remember the details, only snatches of shadowy images. 😩

Well, I'm happy to say that I once again have enough recall to make me feel whole again. 😀

A quick and dirty rundown (because today will be busy) of what I recall at this moment:


- Monday's dreams:

1. I was in a school being chased by a bear. As I rounded hallways, I shouted to everyone that a bear was coming, that they should run or hide. There were small children in the halls. I'm not sure who ran or hid because I didn't look back.

2. I got to my mom's (the apartment I grew up in, in waking life) and dropped my purse on the floor. As I was closing her front door, I realized someone was after me. I decided to climb down the balconies (three stories up from the ground) to get away. I realized my car keys were in my purse and went to retrieve it, so who ever was after me couldn't steal my car and just in case I needed the car to further my getaway. I woke up before I made it all the way down.


- Wednesday's dream:

1. There were supposed to be three of us (myself, Baby Bliss, and someone I don't remember) going to Paris. I realized we hadn't packed and went in search of suitcases. We were at my grandma's old house in our hometown. All the suitcases were in her basement.

I asked what time we needed to get to the airport (5:30). In the next scene Baby Bliss and I were at an evening church service when I remembered we needed to be at the airport. My watch said 5:17 p.m. and I panicked a bit.


- This morning's dream:

I was on a city bus. A pregnant woman got on and stood in the aisle while waiting for someone to help her to a seat. A man who didn't know her helped her and sat next to her. They conversed in Spanish (she thanked him for helping her, he acknowledged). The bus driver told the man that the woman spoke English. The woman and man spoke a few words to each other in accented English then resumed their conversation in Spanish.

The bus became a tour bus and one of the other passengers was the ex of Baby Bliss's godmother. When our bus arrived at our destination, someone had to remind me to get my belongings from the overhead bin.

I disembarked and saw one of my cousin's (adult) sons. He began throwing rocks at me, saying he wanted me to be his friend. One of the rocks hit me on the shoulder and I threatened him with bodily harm if I was hit again.

I was in a kitchen with someone, looking down at a huge grassy area below. I saw my cousin's son again, running from a kangaroo. He stopped and I thought the kangaroo would attack him. He (and another young man) began singing in hauntingly beautiful voices.

🌻 🌻 🌻

That's it for now folks. Time to skedaddle. Wishing you all a beautiful day!

K.

887.

Hello everyone.

I hope you all are somewhere safe and happy today.

I'm doing my best despite the hits that seem to keep coming.

Today I visited our William in hospital, where he's been since last week.

Our young man has experienced a few setbacks since his diagnosis. We learned that his medical condition is more serious than what we knew prior to the start of his hospital stay.

Additionally, on the day he went to hospital to start his treatment, he broke a bone several hours later. (In hospital.) The start of his treatment had to be delayed by a day while the medical professionals tried to figure out what was causing excruciating pain with the slightest movement or touch.

Thankfully he was able to start treatment on Tuesday. Eventually the doctors learned of the broken bone but it took another few days to get his pain managed enough to get a cast on him. The best option would have been a surgical repair but that's not a current option for him because it would have further delayed the treatment he needs for the more serious condition.

As well, pain management in general has been difficult to maintain and they've had to adjust and change his pain meds and dosages quite a few times in the past week.

It is heart wrenching to see a loved one suffer so. We're all praying for the best outcome for this whole ordeal.

🌼 🌼 🌼

Today was my third (grief) therapy session. Coupled with phone therapy that I've been utilizing with one of the resources I was given, I feel like I'm managing my anxiety better than I was several weeks ago.

It's challenging. Each time something else happens with William, I feel like I'm falling into the terrifying abyss. One that I managed to escape from once and thought if it ever appeared again, I'd be able to sidestep it because now it can't trick me into coming near because I recognize it and I'm too smart for it.

Instead I'm reminded of how human I am, how fragile life is, how people we love (including ourselves) can be in situations we feel are beyond our ability to assist with, and how the resulting pain and sadness can slide us down into that dark hole and we feel like we won't stop falling.

That was me a few hours ago, after I got home and processed today's visit with William. I know him to be a capable young man, well-spoken, funny, chivalrous, intelligent, loving. To see him struggling to overcome pain and uncertainty feels overwhelming at times.

An awful reminder of how unfair life can be, how the Wheel turns and stops right at the spot where you were hoping it wouldn't. 💔

I know this is temporary, temporary, temporary. That's what I keep repeating to myself, what I know to be true. Sometimes it helps. Sometimes it doesn't.

But I'll keep saying it. And I'm hoping it's what he's saying to himself and that it helps somehow.

And I'll keep praying, and meditating, and doing the other things that help me and that help me be there for him and the others when I need to be and when I can be.

And once again, thank you all for your continued prayers for William's healing and for us all, for peace in the midst of this storm. 💓🕊

Amen.

K.