626.

I had a "first date" last night.

It was fun.

—That's 30 for today.—

625.

Lest you all become concerned that I only think about dating, gratitude, Baby Bliss, Mr. Bliss, health, and food, I want you to know that I think about finances as well.

Although I never discuss my personal finances with friends (how gauche!), I do like sharing information.

In that vein, I'm sharing this:

John Rampton -- entrepreneur, online marketing guru, and startup addict -- has a post over at HuffPost Business called "101 Ways to Make an Extra $500 a Month While Keeping Your Full Time Job".

It's a great read with lots of good ideas for making extra cash. Even if you don't have a full time job, read it. 

Here's the link: 101 Ways to Make an Extra $500 a Month While Keeping Your Full Time Job.

You're welcome.

624.

So about that date...

Quite a tale.

Here it is:

- We started out with a late afternoon lunch at one of my favorite places. It was a two-hour meal, punctuated with good conversation and lots of laughter.

- We went to the mall to walk it off. (Yep, I do this on a lot of dates.)

- We discussed seeing a movie but the idea was nixed in favor of more sedate activities.

- We ended up at an all-night venue.


However, before we got into our respective vehicles to head out and over, he said he wanted to pick up a six-pack of beer.

Okay...

He bought a 12-pack and put the box in the bed of his truck. Silly ole me thought he was taking it home.

At the venue, we settled in, talked and laughed more.

Next thing I know, dude says he's gonna run out to the parking lot for a smoke and a sip.

A smoke and a sip? 😲 (No emoticon visible? Insert astonished face here.)

My window seat offered me a full view of him puffing and chugging, an immediate turn-off. Two beers and cigarettes later, he returned.

There was more conversation but my thoughts had shifted to other things. Things I could be doing at home...

Dude took a couple more trips to the parking lot, to smoke and sip.

Well all righty then.

I knew he had suffered a personal trauma a little over a year before. No way did I expect him to be 100% healed but it was troubling to see him in what I felt was a downward spiral.

His was still smiling and seemed chipper, but his spirit was altered after the beers. He wasn't slurring or outwardly impaired but he wanted to talk about topics I consider off limits for dates, like politics and religion.

Who wants to get into a debate on a date? Especially with someone who's been drinking...

There are many topics suitable for discussion in mixed company: the weather, pets, fashion, food, Mars...

When I said no to politics and religion, he turned red as he struggled with struggling to engage me in the very thing I had just declined to participate in.

It was clearly time for an exit strategy.

Thankfully, he decided it was time to call it a night.

A few more hours passed as I luxuriated in the peace of my own company and the buzz from overheard conversations of others in the venue.

On my way home, I stopped to treat myself to breakfast.

*** Tale ends here.  ***

As a woman who neither drinks nor smokes, I choose to date men who embrace tobacco-free lifestyles; I prefer to date men who don't drink at all

However, I'm not averse to dating a light drinker.

Herein lies the quandary.

My definition of "light drinking" may mean one beer a week, countered with someone else's two beers a night. Sometimes this disparity isn't evident until a few weeks or months have gone by, depending on how often we see each other.

No worries. I'm a live-and-let-live kinda gal.

What other people do with their time and money is their business and I need not allow it to impact my life.

It's simple: If I've had a few (or several) dates with a man who I later learn is what I consider a heavy or problem drinker, no more dates with him.

The reason: If I'm interested in dating a man, questions about amount and frequency of his drinking habits are on the list with all the other questions I ask. If his story and the actuality don't match, it signifies something deeper that I don't want to be party to.

From experience, I know I can't have a true friendship with a man who is (what I consider) a heavy or problem drinker. Same goes for a man who smokes.

If we can't be friends, we can't date.

Been there, done that; donated the tee shirt to Goodwill.

623.

One date, two dates, three dates, four...

Okay, I haven't had quite that many dates since my last post. Two, I think.

There was a date scheduled for Friday evening but it's been postponed until Saturday afternoon.

It's not a "first date". I already know this guy. We met (online) last summer. Our first date was unusual in that it was a swim date at his house.

Before he and I met in person, we e-mailed, talked and texted for a while. He was very comfortable with forwarding me personal information about himself that I was able to verify on my own. With the help of a good friend, I was able to gather additional background information on my new suitor.

It appeared that everything he'd told me was true. Coupled with the supplemental information from my friend, my new suitor was either a regular nice guy or a psycho who'd managed to fly below the radar.

Overall, it was a lot of behind-the-scenes work for a date but absolutely necessary under the circumstances.

When we finally met in person, it was at a mutually agreed upon public location. We hugged hello and sat down. He showed me his i.d. and we laughed about it. Then we talked until I felt comfortable enough to follow him back to his house.

As I followed him, I made a pre-arranged phone call to my good friend to verify/relay my suitor's address and tag number.

His home was at the end of a long-ish driveway. He had a beautiful garden and well-tended grounds.

We went inside where it was a bit chaotic. Which wasn't a big deal. I knew of his circumstances from our first conversation and knew the chaos was only temporary.

It was a lovely afternoon, splish-splashing in his backyard under a blazing hot sun. I stayed for a few hours after our swim. We ate and drank, listened to music, he serenaded me with his guitar, we played with his dogs, talked...

He was such a sweetheart.

That was a good first date; I headed home tired and happy.

We've kept in touch but the effort of dating would have been a bit much for us at the time.

We live almost an hour apart, when traffic is ideal. Not terrible but not great either. Our schedules didn't mesh well and the distance exacerbated that issue. In addition, he was in beginning stages of recovering from a traumatic event and I knew he needed time to heal.

So conditions weren't conducive for fostering a romantic relationship.

(And they may not be now. Who knows. And it's not something I need to be concerned about at the moment. Because although anticipation is exciting and fun, I'm learning to embrace living in the moment.

Regardless of what does or doesn't happen in the distant future, I know he and I will enjoy each other's company while we're hanging out.)

When he called me Thursday afternoon, we hadn't talked in several months. He had crossed my mind about a week before so I was happy to hear from him.

In the midst of our catching up, he asked me out. I was momentarily surprised and hesitated a beat too long I guess because he told me to take a day to think about it.

I knew I would say yes but I took the day to think about it.

He called me Friday afternoon and I said yes. *chuckle*

We planned to meet in the evening but later decided to move things to Saturday, today.

He said he would call at noon. Which leaves me approximately 7.5 hours to snore.

Good night y'all.

.

622.

Perhaps the Universe thought I was bored, with Mercury turning direct and all.

There is major family drama brewing, courtesy of my father's wife.

Well Jesus take the wheel honey because she has dragged me into the fray and I am not a willing participant.

I love my daddy and regardless of who's right or wrong, he is my primary concern.

While I extend my time and my ear to her, I don't consider our relationship a close one. She has sent entirely too much negative energy and drama my way in the 20 years she and my dad have been together.

I tolerate her because of their relationship.

I respect my father's right to live however he sees fit, with whomever he sees fit as well as his ability to make decisions for his own life.

However, the situations that have required my attention lately are causing me to question whether or not they need professional intervention in the form of a visit from social services.

Neither of them is in good health and his wife has allowed a family member to move in, one who makes my father uncomfortable leaving his wallet laying around.

Over a period of years, this has caused much friction between my dad and his wife, often resulting in her calling me to complain about situations as well as my dad's reactions to them.

She woke me up with one of those calls this morning. But I don't think the call went according to whatever plan she may have had, resulting in a few choice words exchanged between the two of us.

Wrong move lady.

In the past, I was willing to be a mediator.

Today was my last day on the job.

I cannot sacrifice my own mental health worrying about something outside my control.

If my father decides he wants to live peacefully in what could be his last year (or even months) of life, I'm happy to help him relocate to my place (or somewhere else) for whatever time he has left.

If he decides to stay where he is, I'm prepared to send the authorities to check on him as I deem necessary.

I ask that all who read this join me in sending positive thoughts, affirmative prayer, and positive energy to the resolution of this situation.

Thank you in advance.

Amen.

621.

So one of my daughter's best friends is snowed in with us.

The girls have been having fun eating, watching movies, and giggling all day.

But now that night has fallen, things have taken a more serious turn.

Apparently my daughter and her friend have degrees in psychology, psychiatry, or extensive life experience in the topic of the hour.

(Who knew?)

I say this because I'm eavesdropping as they counsel a mutual friend (via Skype) on the faux pas he has committed in his love life.

And these teenage girls are laying down some heavy stuff, using three- and four-syllable words, as they lovingly but sternly (that would be Baby Bliss) attempt to help him better his average.

I'm impressed. And a tiny bit jealous.

No way did I know this stuff at their age.

Even if I had known, I'm pretty sure I couldn't have articulated it in the way they're doing it.

Watch out Dr. Phil.

620.

The weather...

It's only a few degrees above freezing outside and we're awaiting a winter storm that will bring a little  snow and lots of icy rain our way.

According to my weather app, it's snowing already.

I'm watching television in the living room.

It feels like the world is poised silently on the edge of an abyss, watching for the imminent storm to come swirling up and out.

My thoughts: gratitude for having a warm place to sleep, food to eat, and emergency supplies if it comes to that.

I also hope anyone in need has been/will be able to get to a safe warm place and will be allowed to stay for the duration.

Who ever you are and where ever you're reading this from, I hope you are warm and safe too.

Amen.