875.

Hello everyone and Happy Saturday to you all.

It's a damp day here. It rained, rained, rained. Stopped. Still wet out.

Such a dreary day, to match my mood.

I was fine when I woke up, at 5:30 a.m. and again at 7 something.

But the atmosphere changed at some point.

I was scrolling through my Facebook feed and saw a prayer request for a woman I've known since maybe second grade. The last time I saw her was at the shower my mom gave for me and Baby Bliss, over 20 years ago.

At one time, that woman was one of my best friends. But life changes things. People say and do things that end friendships and the world keeps turning.

Still, seeing a prayer request for her made me a bit sad. I thought of all the things we did together back in the day. All the parties we went to together, the sleepovers, the classes we attended together (at three different schools), the boys we giggled about...

And then I got a text from Baby Bliss' godfather. We've known each other almost 25 years. We talk and text often, do lunch and/or dinner when I'm home.

He's had a few health challenges lately that are concerning.

This morning he texted to say he'll call me later to update me on his situation. Now I'm crying because I feel like it's gonna be bad news and I'm scared.

He's one of the folks I count among the people I love and consider family.

He is such a calm and level-headed man. Joyful in his own laid back way. I always enjoy the time we spend together.

I need to burn some sage, to get these negative thoughts out of my head so I can pray for peace for us all, no matter what he has to say.

Amen.

874.

So a few days ago daddy visited in my dream.

He was happy. And young. But still my daddy.

He had a lot of company in his apartment. They were all laying around in the living room, some sleeping. There was a cute puppy. I asked them all to leave. We went into his bedroom. Daddy had a lot of new things. Furniture, clothes, workout equipment...

I asked him where he'd gotten it all. He was grinning and happy, said he bought it.

(Oh Lawd daddy! With what?!)

I asked him how much it all cost. He said he didn't know; he'd used his debit card.

(Oh Lawd daddy!)

I knew it was a dream and he'd died in waking life but I also knew that it was all real in the dream and I dream-panicked. I estimated that his new stuff had cost a couple of thousand bucks, more than he had in his (waking life) account when he died.

"Daddy! That means your account is overdrawn. The bank is gonna be calling me." Instant headache.

Daddy wasn't too concerned. 😐

I woke up laughing and looked for the dream book. 📗

Three numbers: 679 (which I didn't need to look up because everyone knows it's the number for the dead); 351 was the number for "daddy", and 756 was the number for "money".

Playing the lottery isn't my thing but I do dream numbers sometimes and pass them on to friends and family.

This time I meant to tell Baby Bliss to play the set of numbers mentioned above. Well, I forgot. And guess what? The daytime number that day was 657. If she had played it, the winnings would have been a minimum of $40 for what we call "50 cents boxed" back home.

In this state, they call it something else but the payout is the same. Other combinations of play/payout: NC Pick 3 Payout - Jan 22, 2019.

Hysterically funny because daddy was a numbers runner in his early youth.

Thank you daddy for looking out for your girls but we slept that one. We'll get it next time so come on back! 😅💕😂

873.

Daddy, I still can't believe you're gone. I miss you much more than I thought I would. 💔

But I'm getting along. I only cry sometimes.

I'm hanging out with a friend today, a gentleman we used to attend church with. You and he would have gotten along well. He's a cool guy, very smart and down to earth with a wide variety of interests.

We're going to an afternoon meditation group then lunch. It should be a good afternoon. 😃

More later... 💋

872.

Daddy died. 💔

871.2

To continue yesterday's post:

I've always had at least one person I've considered a best friend. But lately, I've been my own best friend. 💃🏾💃🏽

There have been groups of folks that I've socialized with on a regular basis. Co-workers, friends of friends, other parents in the home schooling community, people I've been in crafting groups with...

But I've never had what I consider a group of folks that I could call (or expect a call from) on a Friday or Saturday night regarding a causal evening of chilling at so-and-so's place or grabbing dinner.

There was a time when I had something almost like that, with a group of (mostly) women I worked with decades ago. We hung out a lot. Friday night happy hours after work were probably most common. We also vacationed together, went to parties together, celebrated milestones together, and commiserated over our losses.

Some of us had families, significant others and/or children. Some of us had other pursuits and responsibilities.

We had good times together in the years we all worked together. I'm still friendly with some of them and one of them has become family over the years.

Although in the past I've been very social (and I still enjoy a lively get-together), I am currently content with relaxing right here on my sofa with a good book.

Probably because of all the road I tore up in the past year, visiting daddy. Between going to see daddy and hanging with the Athlete, I believe I was gone more than I was home.

But I have a secret to (sort of) share: there is a vacation I'm looking forward to. Two actually. When they will be, I don't know. Stay tuned because there will be more on this topic. 

One day... 😜💕 

And now folks, although it's not quite 8 p.m., I'm bidding y'all a fond farewell.

Daddy was tired earlier and went to lay down in his room. I need to wake him for dinner and his evening meds and put him back to bed.

Soon after I shall be winding down as well.

Sweet dreams y'all. 💋💋💋

871.

Happy Friday folks! 🎊🎊🎊

I hope everyone is healthy and happy. 😀

We getting along here.

Daddy is tired, Baby Bliss is tired, I'm tired. A trifecta of fatigue. 😣

Daddy had two doctor's appointments this week so he's probably close to exhausted. On the days he has appointments, we're usually out and about for several hours because it makes more sense to me to stay out while we're already out than to drag him in and out of here more than necessary.

Especially this time of year.

It's cold here and daddy should not be breathing in cold air because of his COPD. Also the weather could become wet or snowy or icy at any time so if we have a day of "good" weather and we're already out, I run with it.

Usually after daddy's appointment(s), we'll eat. Most often it's lunch but once he had an early lab appointment so we did breakfast after.

Before we head home, I'll run to Wal-Mart or Aldi or Lidl. Occasionally I'll have to pick up his prescriptions on the way home as well. So some appointment days are busy.

The day after so much gadding about finds daddy sleeping most of the day.

🌸🌸🌸

7:47 p.m.

Baby Bliss has just flown the coop with one of her best friends, a young man I consider a son. They've been friends for many years, starting as home school buddies and morphing into iGen/Gen Z fashionistas living their fabulous lives on the lake.

They've moved into their separate lives but they still manage to hang out, together and with their larger group of friends.

I love it for her and for them all, learning to navigate the world with each other as sounding boards and shoulders to cry on.

870.

Howdy folks!

I've missed y'all! How is life? I hope everyone is safe and happy. 🙏🏽

There's so much to say and very little time as I am tired, tired, tired. 😩

Best of the current news: Baby Bliss is snoring within earshot. She's visiting for a while, to: help me with daddy, hang out with friends, take a break from her daily routine.

Confession: I was watching James Corden and had to change the channel. Sometimes his guests make me nervous. Here's why: some folks are such divas that I just know they're gonna hog his ear. If it's someone I'm fond of, I don't want to see her/him act like that. As well, I don't want to see them get trod upon.

So when I'm watching and I get that weird vibe, I have to turn. Janelle Monae and Giselle were on the couch tonight. I wanted to watch but I dared not.

In other news, Mercury retrograde wasn't so awful this time. There was some retrospection to be had, for sure. But in my personal realm, the number of ex-suitor-related activity was relatively quiet. I was surprised but thankful.

And the exes who showed up surprised me. I can't go into detail because I'm running out of time. The Sandman is at the door and I think he's picking a lock.

🌸🌸🌸

Daddy has had several visits with his doctors since my last post. Sadly, I can see that he's slowing down more and more. He sleeps a lot. Sometimes he's really talkative but that's getting to be less often. He seems to be deep in thought when he's awake.

The Athlete paid daddy and I a visit one Sunday. (They'd met previously, when I traveled north with the Athlete for his church event that occured Memorial Day weekend.)

I put on a pretty frock, did a little something to my hair, powdered my face a bit, and held court in the living room.

He was here a few hours, watching a football game with daddy and making goo goo eyes at me. I fed  him a bowl of the soup I'd made that week.

It was a nice visit.

We talk occasionally. Once a week. Or once a month. It varies.

🌸🌸🌸

My friend and I have shared many conversations since my last post. Nothing earth-shattering but there have been a few eye-opening words spoken between the two of us. I'm just glad the communication is flowing nicely in both directions.

We had snow earlier this week and my friend called to check on daddy and I. It felt good to know that he cared enough to call. 😊

I can't express how thankful I am that this relationship still exists despite the obstacles that he and I have encountered in the decades we've known each other.

🌸🌸🌸

There is much more but I need to get some sleep. Daddy has an appointment in about nine hours and I need us to be on schedule.

Please stay healthy and happy until we meet again folks.

Ciao!