Monday, September 24, 2007

234: stress!

hey y'all.







i've been working on the Main Project for Client A. i've also been doing other Small Projects as they come up.

the Main Project, though detailed and Very Important, has turned out to be fun.

it's the other stuff that's stressing me. it's been a challenge to get back into the swing of being on someone else's clock. not literally because i'm not punching in. but when an e-mail or call comes in, i'm expected to be Jill on the Spot.

in my meeting with Client A, i was told that they have an extremely high level of expectation. not that i'm not capable of doing it. but i'm still getting used to this gig.

it's not like when you work face-to-face with folk you see every day. the majority of my contact with Client A is through e-mail. phone calls are rare. in-person meetings rarest of all. i'm still feeling these folks out and the learning curve is stretching out further than i'd like.

i've been dreading opening e-mail from Client A because i know there will be some Small Project that requires my immediate attention. as soon as i read it, i feel anxious.

it's always my intention to respond accurately and in a timely manner. but my panic causes me to second-guess myself which causes me to go into overdrive which results in the opposite of what i want.

instead of working efficiently and swiftly, i feel the need to check and re-check my work over and over again, resulting in delays in delivery and more heart palpitations for me as i wait to hear how the finished product has been received.

the fear of making mistakes is causing me to have heart palpitations. literally.

and i thought there was no job more stressful than being a mommy...

i believe this is God's way of sending me a message: do what you love and stick to it or else. LOL

what's ironic is that the Main Project is the kind i usually don't like to do; the Smaller Projects consist of work i've previously enjoyed and it's how i market myself. who'd have thunk it?

one of the best things about working from home/as a contractor is the flexibility to set one's own schedule. likewise the ability to create one's surroundings in any way desired. i do cherish both these components therefore my goal is to work out the kinks in this situation.

so y'all, this week i'm gonna try meditation and music therapy.

something has to assist me with changing my outlook and reactions. otherwise i'll be re-assigning my priorities 'round here.


Stella and Thomas said...

I 'work' from home too...see how I use the term loosly. I still it is so much better than going someplace everyday. I love to be at home...comfy and work. Well, I try to work. I have two litte ones to need my attention only when I have to take a work know the drill:-)

Aly Cat 121 said...

well dayum chil" you'd probably fall out from anxiety and be found slumped over ya desk if you actually had to go into the office everyday. *chuckle to self* Maybe you should have some wine (just a lil) before you check your emails.

Aly Cat 121 said...

dayum did my comment post?

bliss said...

hey there Stella and Thomas's mommy. yeah, i know the drill. '-) we home school so baby bliss is usually with me all day. phone calls are okay but i can't sit down to do research without her needing to have a discussion about SOMEthing...

bliss said...

Aly, you are soooooooooooooo funny. if i drink a SIP of wine i'll be passed out on the keyboard EVERY day and wouldn't even get to check ONE e-mail. LOL

chile i can't imagine having to go back to an office every day. i'm allergic to rush hour traffic AND that ole ugly carpet they use in office buildings. ha!

Stella and Thomas said...

bliss- I may pick your brain on your exp with home schooling. We are talking about it and I keep coming across more and more people who really love it.


bliss said...

hey there Amy. feel free to pick my brain any time. we love home schooling too. :-)