Thursday, August 9, 2007

183: dreams...

hey y'all.

how's the weather in your neck of the woods? it's hot as hell here. well, maybe not that hot. but it 'pends on who you ask and who you b'lieve, i guess. but it is sho nuff hot here. over a hunnert degrees in the shade. baby bliss keeps talkin' bout it's our fault (my generation) cuz we killed the ozone layer with all the hair spray we used back in my day. i keep telling her it was my mother's generation, not mine. but baby bliss is a non-believer.

we have been managing to stay cool, thank God/Goddess/Universe. i am thankful for air conditioning, electricity, mr. bliss who works to pay the bill, and living in an area that doesn't see too many black outs.

as usual y'all, i was up til the wee hours. but not too wee. i crashed around 2 or 2:30 in the a.m. guess my clock is naturally slowing down and winding back the other way in preparation for the coming school days.

some semi-scary news: i remember three (3) distinct dreams from sleepy time.

the first was baby bliss and i in FL. the dream was a hybrid of an actual trip i took for my high school graduation and a conversation i had with a friend in e-mail the other day.

the other was weird-er and sad. it was actually two dreams in one, i guess.

i was checking into a high-priced hotel with a sista-friend i grew up with, her husband (who in waking life is a heroin addict), and a girl who (in real life) grew up in the projects across the street from us. we were all attorneys in town for a conference.

the man who checked us in was Mr. L. (an ooooooold man who in waking life was the door man at a building i worked in almost 20 years ago. he was old back then so he might be dead now.) while my friends were checking in, i got a phone call. Mr. L. wanted to know who i was talking to and he kept asking my friends if they knew who it was and what we were talking about. when they wouldn't give him any info, he threatened them.

as we were on our way to our rooms, my sista-friend was in tears and told me she could no longer be affiliated with me because she'd worked too hard to get where she was. i tried to find out what Mr. L. had threatened them with but she wouldn't tell.

(by the way, the phone call was secret intel about a recently-deceased, well-known attorney. i was told he'd been killed because of information he had that would cost the US govt. a whole lotta $$)

we all piled into one room (don't ask why. i don't know... dream stuff...) and began talking. then i got a 2nd phone call. it was bad news.

a voice -- that i assumed was my sister's -- told me "A." had accidentally hung himself. in real life, my sister has a son i've never met. (she and i have different mothers and haven't seen each other in over 10 years.) i thought she was telling me her son was dead and i realized i would never meet him. of course i burst into tears.

but when i called my sister's name, the woman said no, she wasn't my sister. then i caught the voice and realized it was my sista-friend V. from home. (a real friend, who i've known almost 25 years)

then i realized who she meant: "A.", my ex-boyfriend. (another real person; she and i dated brothers when we were in high school; A. was my boyfriend, K. her's.) she said he and his brother (not K.) had gotten into a tussle and A. hung himself later.

i really began boo hoo-ing. in fact, i woke up crying.

the first thing i did was call V_____. but i had to leave a message cuz she was at work. she called me back this afternoon. she said A____ and K_____'s family was mostly fragmented now. some of the siblings no longer come to family events and some no longer call other members at all.

i'm pretty sure the cause is their mother. most of the children were adopted and their mother was more like a wicked step-mother. she and i didn't get along. primarily because i opened A_____'s eyes to some things he wasn't aware of. monetary things...

V___ and I had a lot of catching up to do. i'm 'sposed to call her back tomorrow cuz she called while we were at the library so we couldn't really dish like i wanted to. '-)

i have to set the alarm on my cell or else i won't remember to call her.
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