Thursday, July 20, 2017

788.

Happy Thursday everyone!

It's been a whirlwind two weeks for me.

Glutton for punishment that I am, I re-visited the Hunk.

Literally.

Twice.

Yes, yes, yes. I know.

I probably shouldn't have.  πŸ˜†

But I thought it was worth making sure.

And it was.

I am now sure we are not meant to be. Not in the way he or I had hoped for. 😐

At times like this, I am reminded of how thankful I am to have had Mr. Bliss in my life.

He taught me so much about love and what's acceptable and what is not.

He was a man who stood proud and tall, although his physical stature was only 5' 7".

Not proud in the sense of "Pride goeth before a fall". (Although we did have a few incidences of that during our relationship.)

Mr. Bliss took a quiet and humble pride in being who he was: a man who loved unconditionally, a man of peace and reconciliation, a man of compassion who very rarely had anything derogatory or harsh to say about another living thing.

He was a happy man, always meeting folk with a smile or a grin.

He was also a mature man who about 99 percent of the time displayed actions that were in line with his chronological age.

One of the (many) things I loved about Mr. Bliss was that he never went to bed mad at me, without kissing me good night and telling me he loved me.

It didn't matter who committed the "offense". Before he closed his eyes, he wanted me to know that he loved me. And he didn't hold grudges.

He was love, forgiveness, unselfishness personified. Again, that was about 99 percent of the time. πŸ˜‰He was no angel but I know now that he was as close to it on this earth as I've ever experienced.

I won't harp on anything further here, at least not now.

I drove home this morning and I'm tired. I might need a nap soon.

What I will say is that I know, I know, I know this for sure: a person who doesn't love himself (regardless of the reason) will love not you. It's not possible. 😞

For my readers who will never give up on finding the romantic partner who sets their soul ablaze (like me), I say this: never forget to love yourself and delight in your own company. It's paramount to your existence, your peace, your happiness. πŸ’•

My brief interlude with the Hunk left me disappointed but not disheartened.

You, my faithful readers, should know by now that "Resilience" truly is my middle name.

I believe, I believe, I believe that the Love I seek is seeking me too. One day we'll be at the same place at the same time and rainbows will appear in the sky as our eyes meet. 😊🌈🌈😊

And we'll live a life of extraordinary and exquisite enchantment.

Until then, the dance continues...

Amen.

Wednesday, July 12, 2017

787.

Something beautiful I came across this morning:

The Red Thread by Jennifer Grant

Wednesday, July 5, 2017

786.

Good morning everyone.

It's been a long week for me and I'm exhausted but it's time to hip y'all to more details of my latest adventure.

First,  I came home last night because it really was time to get outta Dodge. There is nothing like the comfort of being surrounded by the things that are familiar and welcoming.

I remain ever thankful to have my own roof to return to.

Ya know, the world is full of all kinds of people and I seem to meet the most interesting of the bunch.

The gentleman with whom I spent the past week was definitely in that group.

The healer in me understands why we met.

He is a man in crisis although he is unaware.

From the anecdotes he shared with me, I believe his past work history (military and law enforcement) in addition to his childhood have severely damaged his world view as well as his psyche.

However I also believe he is a kind and loving man because he was able to genuinely able to express those actions and emotions for, to, and with me.

He is lonely and believes being in a romantic relationship will help fill in the blanks in his life. On the surface it appears so. But our time spent together went deeper than the surface, whether or not he realized it, and I was able to see him.

A real conundrum. A sad one as well.

He needs help but it's not my assignment. I'm not that kind of healer, thank God.

Perhaps my role was just to uncover those scabs, to give him an inkling that healing is needed. I don't know...

We are who we are, this I do know. And I try not to judge people harshly because I am included in that "we" as well. I know we should not be looked down upon for being different from her or him or they.

But if we are to heal, we must be willing to seek out and acknowledge the parts of us that are different enough to isolate us (or cause us to isolate) in unhealthy ways and for unhealthy reasons. If we can't do this, regardless of the reason, we will remain stuck in whatever rut we've ground ourselves into.

My prayers for him as he moves forward, that he's one day able to see that his soul needs soothing on a deeper level than being in a relationship can provide.

I don't want y'all to think that my visit was a bad one. It wasn't. We got along well and he treated me very well. We went to the gym, the grocery store, the mall, downtown to stroll... He cooked for me, ran me soothing baths for my sore muscles, even shampooed my hair one day.

We both like music and have an affinity for vinyl. One of the most interesting days we had was the day we went to the record store, had drinks at that world-famous coffee chain, strolled downtown, and headed home to listen to the crisp and undistorted hisses and pops that makes vinyl so good to the ear.

I wish things could have worked out between us, even in friendship. Maybe one day...

However today I must tend to me. A few days ago there was a tickle in my throat. It progressed to a sore throat joined by a stuffy nose and coughing. Now I'm having full-fledged "dirty filter" or "dirty vent" syndrome: I'm expelling ugly mucous from nose and throat.

Thank God for oil of oregano. It was the only thing that helped me sleep last night.

More later...

Tuesday, July 4, 2017

785.

Hello folks and happy Tuesday.

Today has been an emotional roller coaster for me. I've cried at least three times today, possibly more.

I guess it's just that time of the month.

I'm still on my extended visit with my latest suitor and I'm enjoying our time together. We talked about extending my visit indefinitely but I'm thinking tomorrow will be the day to head home.

Too much of a good thing is not a good thing, ya know?

I also know how I get when my hormones are surging uncontrollably. Not the most pleasant or level-headed-person to be around.

And like the old folk say, "Don't overstay your welcome".

Toodles for now...