Wednesday, July 5, 2017

786.

Good morning everyone.

It's been a long week for me and I'm exhausted but it's time to hip y'all to more details of my latest adventure.

First,  I came home last night because it really was time to get outta Dodge. There is nothing like the comfort of being surrounded by the things that are familiar and welcoming.

I remain ever thankful to have my own roof to return to.

Ya know, the world is full of all kinds of people and I seem to meet the most interesting of the bunch.

The gentleman with whom I spent the past week was definitely in that group.

The healer in me understands why we met.

He is a man in crisis although he is unaware.

From the anecdotes he shared with me, I believe his past work history (military and law enforcement) and traumatic events in his childhood have severely damaged his world view as well as his psyche.

However I also believe he is a kind and loving man because he was able to genuinely able to express those actions and emotions for, to, and with me.

He is lonely and believes being in a romantic relationship will help fill in the blanks in his life. On the surface it appears so. But our time spent together went deeper than the surface, whether or not he realized it, and I was able to see him.

A real conundrum. A sad one as well.

He needs help but it's not my assignment. I'm not that kind of healer, thank God.

Perhaps my role was just to uncover those scabs, to give him an inkling that healing is needed. I don't know...

We are who we are, this I do know. And I try not to judge people harshly because I am included in that "we" as well. I know we should not be looked down upon for being different from her or him or they.

But if we are to heal, we must be willing to seek out and acknowledge the parts of us that are "different" enough to isolate us (or cause us to isolate) in unhealthy ways and for unhealthy reasons. If we can't do this, regardless of the reason, we will remain stuck in whatever rut we've ground ourselves into.

My prayers for him as he moves forward: that he's one day able to see that his soul needs soothing on a deeper level than being in a relationship can provide.

I don't want y'all to think that my visit was a bad one. It wasn't. We got along well and he treated me very well when he was able to maintain his... sense of reality and... rationality.

We went to the gym, the grocery store, the mall, downtown to stroll... He cooked for me, ran me soothing baths for my sore muscles, even shampooed my hair one day.

We both love music and have an affinity for vinyl. One of the most interesting days we had was the day we went to the record store, had drinks at that world-famous coffee chain, strolled downtown, then headed home to listen to the crisp and undistorted hisses and pops that makes vinyl so good to the ear.

I wish things could have worked out between us, even in friendship. Maybe one day...

However today I must tend to me. A few days ago there was a tickle in my throat. It progressed to a sore throat joined by a stuffy nose and coughing. Now I'm having full-fledged "dirty filter" or "dirty vent" syndrome: I'm expelling ugly mucous from nose and throat.

Thank God for oil of oregano. It was the only thing that helped me sleep last night.

More later...

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