Good day people!
I hope yours is going well.
My day is slowly grinding to a standstill. Not sure why, but I've run out of energy. Probably the combination of not enough food and definitely not enough sleep.
I went to sleep before 2 a.m., intending to sleep until 10:30 a.m.
Alas, I was awakened at the unseemly hour of 8-something by an obscene number of texts from my Paramour. Although I was still snuggled up with my pillows, the sound of the text notifications dragged me away from the peace and tranquility of the land of Nod into the harsh reality of Saturday morning sunlight.
It was a poem, expressing words of comfort and longing.
How lovely. 💕💕💕
It took me an hour to gather my thoughts enough to respond.
As I stated in a previous post, I really like this guy. And although we've had three dates (and the offer of one for tomorrow), I think I need to take a step back and meditate on this situation. 💮
We're attracted to each other, we're flirty, the chemistry is good. On every date we've had discussions about serious life and relationship issues, both past and potentially future. We seem to be in alignment about most of the things that matter. He says he wants us to pursue a seriously serious relationship.
But he's also done some things that have set my teeth on edge. Not necessarily red flags but I need to feel sure enough that he's someone I want to move forward with.
I hope this isn't TMI for anyone but I'm at a precarious stage in my life. I'm experiencing what's known as peri-menopause and I also happen to be PMSing.
Which means I'm all tangled up in hormones and emotions and thoughts that may or may not be conducive to anything remotely resembling anything factual.
What I've found myself doing is jotting notes of things he's done and said that don't make sense to me. (Because I'm a writer and because I don't want to forget...)
We discussed my list and he said I should tell him any time I think something is off so we can talk about it and he can make any explanations or adjustments necessary. Because he wants us to be best friends and share everything with each other without fear of rejection or reprisal.
Wow. What a man! 😜
But is he just saying what I want to hear or is he being truthful?
Time, time, time...
Trying to keep my eyes open for anything that isn't quite on kilter while having a good time is not my idea of a good time.
I want to enjoy the moments we're together (and I have) but I don't want to miss or misread anything that could be a reason for me to nip this thing in the bud.
Essentially, what I'm saying is that I don't want to get my feelings hurt. Nor do I want to hurt his.
If only my crystal ball worked during Mercury retrogrades... 😩
It's a precarious balancing act, the letting go and holding on.
Knowing when to do either is what I struggle with, trying to maintain a sense of order and common sense while being open to being swept away if something beautiful and magical comes along.
La vida... ☔🌈