Good morning y'all.*
I'm "in my feelings" this morning, as the young folk would say.
Lots to do today so I won't let that deter me.
In case anyone is interested, I did have a second date with the gentleman who drove two hours to meet me Halloween weekend.
The festival was scheduled to end at 8 p.m. so he had made reservations to stay over at a local hotel. We enjoyed our outing until we decided we'd had enough then headed back this way, maybe around six. We went to his room to relax for a bit then made a food run. We ate and talked in his room for a couple of hours.
He's a hardworking man and his body is used to waking up in the wee hours for work so he was tired before 10 p.m.
Which was cool because I was tired too. Spending the whole day with a stranger, whether the day is fun and exciting or boring and tense, comes with its own kind of exhaustion.
Although my date and I had a whole month of getting-to-know-you tucked under our belts, it was all done by e-mail, texts, and phone calls.
Of course we had exchanged many photos in that month as well.
Regardless, face-to-face chemistry is always an unknown factor. One, because you don't know if your in-person energies will vibe well. Two, because you don't know what kind of energy it will be, romantic or platonic.
I've learned (and am still learning) to take nothing for granted. Losing Mr. Bliss was the hardest example of that lesson. I continue to move forward with all that I learned from him as well as the events leading up to and the aftermath of his death.
Four years later, I know that everything is temporary. What I can never know is the finite duration of any particular situation which is what drives me batty. I like to know. Despite me understanding that "this too shall pass" (whatever "this" may be), the not knowing still causes anxiety that manifests in ways I don't like.
And having said that, I realize my need to return to a useful meditative practice.
* Yes this was written this morning, long before 12 noon. Mea culpa for not hitting "publish" in time.