Thursday, June 5, 2014

527.


Thanks to the orderly influence of my new friend, I've been inspired to get around to tackling the overflow of paper, books, pens, folders, etc. that has become my office.

Last night, I was on a shredding spree that lasted a few hours.

This morning, the spree resumed but only for a few minutes.

In a pile of "what do I do with this stuff", I came across two envelopes that had been returned to me because the addressees had moved.

When I saw the envelopes, I immediately knew what was in each one: programs from Mr. Bliss's memorial service.

Because the mail had been returned and I knew I'd tried to mail to those specific people more than once, I decided to shred the envelopes and keep the programs.

I intended to just put the programs aside but I couldn't. I re-read one in its entirety. It wasn't long. I kept it short and to the point because we assumed that only people who knew Mr. Bliss would attend and his life had spoken for itself. Everyone who met him loved him. For the most part, he was that kind of guy.

And just as I knew it would, a wave of sadness engulfed me. I rolled with it and the memories it brought back of our life together, his illness, my final minutes with his body at the crematorium.

I let the tears flow until they stopped then I got up from the floor in front of the shredder and headed for other chores.

My mind touched on other topics as I inspected the kitchen to make sure my daughter and her friend had indeed cleaned up, as they had promised during their late-night cooking caper the night before. With the exception of a few minor touch-ups, my labor wasn't required.

I moved a few trash bags and recycle items outside and noticed the shredded paper decorating the porch.

It wouldn't be neighborly of me to have my confetti blowing about the neighborhood so I grabbed my broom.

While I was sweeping, I realized that despite all the tears I've shed in the past two years, I've been happy too. And that made me happy because I know Mr. Bliss wants me to be happy.

As I sit here typing these words, I'm crying once again. Not because I'm sad, just because the tears have returned. I'm also smiling because I'm listening to what has become my new theme song. And though Mr. Bliss didn't live to hear this song, I know he's listening and loving it from what ever realm he now exists in.

In retrospect, he was the happiest person I've ever known; also one of the wisest. Every day I realize how much I learned about life from him.

Thank you God for bringing us together.

In gratitude I realize I can be happy because the love and laughter Mr. Bliss shared with me lives on, in me and through me.

In gratitude, I'm happy to share my smiles, my laughter, my love with the world.

And with love, I say go sing along with Pharrell in this video so you can share in the "Happy" too.

I've seen many homemade versions of this song and it makes me... happy to see how it's bringing the world together.

Amen.



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