Monday, September 17, 2012

495.



Life... goes on.

Slowly, painfully, joyously, tearfully, abundantly...

Days pass. Weeks. Months.

I've learned that measuring in moments is easier. It helps me know that whatever sadness I feel is temporary.

I miss him more than I could have imagined. In the first days and weeks, I wanted to die, to be with him. Yet in the midst of great pain, my life continued. I went to sleep and woke up every day. I ate and drank and breathed...

The world doesn't stop when someone dies. For those not directly affected, it doesn't even pause.

Even when the decedent is world-famous, after all the hoopla ends, the others eventually go back to their own lives.

As is the case with the death of Mr. Bliss.

There are a few who still call to check on my daughter and I, many more who probably keep us in their prayers. But at their core, mourning and grieving are solitary endeavors. This is what I'm learning.

Everyone doesn't understand what it's like to lose a spouse or a parent and it can be hard to relate to something  never experienced.

Folk will try and in their attempts, some say things inappropriate and insensitive.

Depending on who said it and how, I either let it go or I let the person go.

No one can put a timeline on someone else's journey, whether it's to do with grieving or some other aspect of another's life. Our society teaches much but sadly, few understand this.

My daughter and I continue to make strides toward health and healing. I hope and pray for our wholeness daily but I know we will never be the same.

That which changes us makes us... different. Sometimes better, sometimes stronger. Definitely unlike we were before.

I have learned so much more about myself, my humanity, my resilience.

I have also learned a lot about other people, family and friends; strangers. Some have surprised me with their actions; some have acted as expected.

More importantly to me, I am still in awe of how much there has been to be thankful for since Mr. Bliss died.

God has sent many angels my way and some days my tears fall in overwhelming gratitude.

Ultimately, I know I must remain open to living every minute of the wonderful amazing life that lies before me.

And so I persevere because I absolutely believe in the power of Good and Right and most of all, Love and Blessings.

Amen.

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